rant · moment 5 of 18
Pitching "Million Dollar Fisting": Realtors for Pedophile Islands
from #185 - Stunning Estate | The Tim Dillon Show · #185
3 min
Tim invents a fake reality show where realtors sell private islands to pedophile billionaires, doing an extended bit as a trafficked-turned-realtor character showing off a Saudi prince's dungeon-equipped island.
- Tim pitches the opening of "Million Dollar Fisting," a show about selling luxury private islands to wealthy clients who value privacy.
- The female realtor character backstory: trafficked to an island as a girl, discovered she had an eye for real estate.
- She pivoted into selling high-end islands to pedophiles and now knows more islands than anyone else in the business.
- Tim shows a realtor tour of an island, emphasizing the short walk from heliport to house—important because "who knows what state people are gonna be arriving here in."
- The property features 360-degree views from the bedroom so residents can see who's coming from where.
- The realtor highlights underground space, describing four to five thousand square feet with no light—a medieval dungeon feel.
- The island is priced at thirty million, currently owned by a Saudi prince who's upgrading his operation.
- Tim acts out calling the Saudi prince seller with an all-cash offer of twenty-seven point five million, closing in two weeks.
- The seller doesn't love the offer, but the realtor argues it's a qualified buyer with no contingencies coming in all cash.
Little St JamesVirgin Islands