rant · moment 12 of 32

Why Did You Become a Teacher? A Holiday Interrogation

from #179 - Sal Vulcano | The Tim Dillon Show · #179

4 min

Tim mocks people at holiday parties who explain why they became teachers, arguing teaching isn't a top job and that people romanticize the profession's time off and short hours rather than admitting it's an easy path.

In this bit10 moments
  • Tim's family gave him nooses as Christmas gifts in 2019, joking about the rough year ahead.
  • Everyone wore slippers instead and posed for photos, then an aunt started the hokey-pokey while doing it.
  • Tim describes his suicidal despair watching all the adults dance the hokey-pokey at the gathering.
  • People doing the hokey-pokey probably don't want to hear about JFK conspiracies, satanic cults, or the deep state anyway.
  • Tim's father is a talented guitarist but hasn't played in years and now only writes bad songs about his day job selling wine.
  • His dad's new songs describe mundane details like taking the train to sell wine with three guitar chords.
  • Tim's father's three dogs are named Maya Angelou, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Frederick Douglass after his liberal wife's influences.
  • His father showed pictures of the dogs at Tim's grandmother's funeral and explained their historical names while people were crying.
  • Tim's father keeps writing pointless songs about mundane routines like riding the train with coffee to sell wine.
  • Tim realizes how easy and pointless songwriting is after listening to his father's material about summer and heat.
Mentioned here

George W. BushGeorge H. W. BushKennedyMaya AngelouRuth Bader GinsburgFrederick Douglass

All 32 moments in this episode →