rant · moment 11 of 32

Snuggies, 9/11, and the Hokey Pokey with Aunts

from #179 - Sal Vulcano | The Tim Dillon Show · #179

4 min

Tim recounts his stepmother handing out Snuggies as a group gift while he tries to bring up 9/11 conspiracy theories, then describes standing through an adult hokey-pokey and wanting to end his own life out of despair.

In this bit9 moments
  • Tim on being told he's loud and sad, and how he gets worked up playing to 300 people.
  • Holiday dinners should use real plates and utensils, not plastic, because Christ was born today.
  • Stepmother gives Snuggies as gifts every year; Tim brings up Building 7 and 9/11 while everyone admires how soft they are.
  • Teachers at family gatherings tell boring origin stories about why they became teachers.
  • Teachers act like becoming a teacher was an achievement, when really they just wanted summers off and to leave by 2:30.
  • Tim never criticized teachers until they claimed teaching was the most important job in the world.
  • Teaching isn't in the top hundred important jobs because there's no shortage of people willing to do it.
  • At holidays, you have to sit and listen to someone explain why they became a teacher.
  • Stepmother makes everyone put on the Snuggies; Tim would rather tie a noose around his neck.

All 32 moments in this episode →