rant · moment 9 of 27
Family Won't Let Him Stay Over on Long Island
from #170 - Eat The Rich; They're Keto Part 1| The Tim Dillon Show · #170
3 min
Tim describes his dad and aunt making excuses (garage sales, cat fleas) to avoid letting him stay the night, comparing it to relatives always mysteriously getting 'sick' during holidays.
- Parents won't let him stay over — they always say this weekend doesn't work, only sometime in the future.
- They blamed the cat's fleas for canceling Thanksgiving, then blamed the same cat's fleas again at Christmas.
- The real issue: his parents don't want him in the house, possibly worried he'll somehow refuse to leave.
- Tim jokes about what would happen if he moved back in — lighting cigarettes and waving them around like he owns the place.
- Family members fake illness during holidays to get out of gatherings, using age as cover for the excuse.
- His aunt Kathleen canceled Thanksgiving the night before by claiming she wasn't feeling up to it.
- Tim shifts to stories about people dying on the Southern State Parkway, which he used to see as a kid.
- Getting hit by a truck leaves the head feeling like a bag of broken glass inside, though it often looks relatively intact from outside.