rant · moment 15 of 20
Beachbody/Shakeology Deep Dive: "We're Not a Pyramid Scheme"
from #167 - Beach Corpse | The Tim Dillon Show · #167
14 min
Tim does an extended bit reading Beachbody's official FAQ defending itself against pyramid scheme accusations, mocking their coach testimonials about depressed and postpartum women being recruited to sell Shakeology, and offering to become a Beachbody coach himself for money.
- Beachbody's Wikipedia definition of pyramid scheme matches their own business model.
- The company addresses pyramid scheme accusations on their own website as a frequently asked question.
- Beachbody claims coaches make money from product sales and hard work, not recruiting fees.
- Tim on how people actually respond when you lose weight—they don't want a detailed explanation, just a one-word answer.
- Tim performs someone describing Shakeology after being asked about weight loss, complete with credentialing the company.
- Signup cost is forty dollars upfront plus fifteen dollars ninety-five cents monthly to be a coach.
- Coach story pivots from depression recovery to deciding to "rob others" through the pyramid scheme.
- Woman with a master's degree couldn't find teaching work, so she sells fitness shakes instead.
- Tim on Shakeology: he'd rather stab himself in the throat than say the word with a straight face.
- Tim's own story of buying a subprime mortgage on a coked-up recommendation from a friend predicting developer profits.
- Beachbody targets people with postpartum depression and suicidal ideation in their marketing testimonials.
- Hilary Kelley's story of using Facebook to share her experience with Shakeology to friends.
- Tim on husbands telling depressed wives to start a multi-level marketing scheme instead of seeing a doctor or therapist.
- The Beachbody Coach network has over 400,000 members, creating a community so no one feels alone.
- Coaches are described as "products of the product"—a marketing line Tim finds absurd.
- Tim closes by saying he'll do anything Beachbody asks if they pay him enough money.
BeachbodyShakeologymulti-level marketing