rant · moment 10 of 20
Funeral Etiquette and Offering to Attend Yours
from #167 - Beach Corpse | The Tim Dillon Show · #167
7 min
Tim continues the funeral theme, recounting a friend's father's wake, a friend's mother who fought cancer, his grandmother's fire-and-brimstone priest, his grandfather's bagpipe funeral, and formally offers to attend any listener's funeral, wake, and burial.
- Tim's friend's father died in his early 60s, but the funeral itself was unexpectedly nice—an autumn day, hymns, black suits, and a sit-down dinner.
- The meatballs at the after-dinner reception were so good Tim jokes he'd kill the deceased's mother himself.
- Michael's mother fought cancer for a long time, lived meaningfully by helping others, and accomplished more in her life than Tim or his clown friends ever will.
- The reception had Italian food, quesadillas, and wings, and Tim found himself having one of the best times of his life sitting with strangers.
- Tim offers to attend anyone's funeral who wants him there, as long as it doesn't feel weird—he doesn't need to know the person well to appreciate their life.
- Tim establishes his position: funerals are beautiful when someone over 60 dies, but deaths in someone's 20s or 30s are genuinely rough.
- His grandmother's funeral featured a priest delivering hellfire and brimstone, saying Dorothy had been preparing for this moment for decades.
- Grandfather's funeral had beautiful bagpipes—an Irish funeral where everybody came and got drunk, which is much better than weddings, baptisms, or christenings.
- After leaving a burial, driving out with the sun shining, stopping at 7-Eleven for a Snapple—that's when you appreciate being alive.
- Tim would attend one funeral a month if he could; he commits to doing the whole thing—wake, burial the next day, and whatever dinner or lunch follows.