rant · moment 10 of 16
High School Personality Archetypes, Part Two
from 163 - How To Be Popular · #163
5 min
The archetype list continues with the fighting/promiscuous girl, the fat girl who doesn't know she's fat, the horny virgin fat guy on the football team, the goody-two-shoes vomiting establishment kid, and the overworked lesbian, before Tim jokes about inventing new genders.
- The aggressive girl archetype: constantly fighting friends and strangers, seeking attention through drama and violence.
- She wishes she were Puerto Rican but is Italian, unprocessed childhood trauma fueling her need to fight everyone.
- By 17, she's on Backpage arranging dates with businessmen for money and shoes, calling it judgment-free commerce.
- Her constant readiness for confrontation is a shield protecting a scared, traumatized girl underneath.
- The fat girl who doesn't know she's fat: hangs with popular girls, confused why their boyfriends aren't interested in her.
- At prom, the fat girl really tries to doll it up, thinking one dress will cover four years of being overlooked.
- The fat guy who talks constantly about sex but never gets it and wouldn't know what to do if he did.
- He loves fighting because it's the only way to prove he has value on the planet.
- The teacher's kid goody-two-shoes who occasionally gets drunk at senior year parties and vomits, but stays establishment.
- The lesbian working multiple jobs who constantly reminds everyone of her hard work and responsibility as a way to avoid examining her social position.
- The bland white kid solution to personality: dye your hair green, claim they/them pronouns, name yourself after a constellation, and become a new person.