rant · moment 23 of 25
The Fat Girl With the Clean Car
from 160 - The Ballad of The Fat Girl With The Clean Car · #160
6 min
An extended character study of a specific archetype: the heavy-set girl who compulsively keeps her car spotless and never seen eating, contrasted with the messy hot friend, ending in Tim mourning whether this archetype still exists.
- Tim imagines smoking crack with Marianne Williamson and describes the confidence of a white suburban girl on cocaine driving a Honda Civic.
- The archetype of the fat girl with a very clean car: can't control her eating, so she keeps her environment immaculate instead.
- Tim describes the paradox—the car smells beautiful and looks pristine, but you know there must have been food in it because of how she looks.
- Even a shitty little car owned by this type of girl is beautiful and immaculate, with everything organized in its proper place.
- This mythological beast exists and drives around Long Island and New Jersey, always giving everyone rides while existing in her own world.
- Contrast: the hot girl with the disgusting car, full of empty perfume bottles, crack vials, dogs, cats, and monopoly pieces.
- At the end of the night she drops you off, gives a quick kiss, and she's always funny and personable but not overboard—never seeking approval.
- Her fat was a specific type: hard fat, like magic shell on a dessert, with goodness hidden inside but completely hidden from view.
- She barely spoke, would go to the beach with hot girls, and answer with minimal responses like "yeah really" before driving away in her beautiful car.
- Tim wonders what happens to the fat girl with the clean car now that fat has become mainstream and everyone's made to feel good about their bodies.