News · moment 2 of 20
Bill Clinton's Statement and the Lolita Express
from 156 - Some Of Our Faves · #156
5 min
News
Tim reads and mocks Bill Clinton's official denial statement about his flights on Epstein's plane, riffing on the absurdity of a former president needing to clarify he was never on the island.
- Tim drafts what Clinton's statement should say: he only flies terrible airlines, books last minute, gets off at connecting cities, sits in middle seats.
- Clinton's actual statement claims he took four trips on Epstein's plane for Clinton Foundation work in Europe, Asia, and Africa.
- Tim questions why Clinton needed Epstein's plane specifically when other planes go to Africa and Asia, notes it's called the Lolita Express.
- Statement says Secret Service detail traveled on every leg—Tim suggests they were probably there as part of the problem, not protection.
- Clinton claims he never visited Epstein's private island, his New Mexico property, or his Florida residence.
- Tim observes that an ex-president needing to publicly deny ever visiting a pedophile's island is inherently suspicious behavior.
- The statement explicitly addresses that Epstein was assaulting children while Clinton used the plane for Foundation work.
- Tim's summary: Bill was on the plane four times, Epstein was on the plane, they were assaulting kids, but Clinton needed a ride to Asia so he just took a Xanax and slept through it.
- Conversation shifts to Billie Eilish, with Tim noting he didn't realize making certain observations about her was considered offensive.