Episode 139 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Jeffrey Epstein's Go Fund Me
Mar 16, 2019 · 1:00:39 · 13 segments, 98 moments indexed
- 1 min
Opening music sting introducing the show.
1moment
- 0:00Opening announcement: Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell
- 3 min
Everyone's Faking Being Sick (Including Him)
#Tim rants that no one is actually sick, mocking co-host Nick's flu absence, contrasting his hardworking immigrant grandparents with his father who milked sickness, and his mother who worked through cracked-out exhaustion until she lost her mind.
8moments
- 0:50Nobody's ever sick — Tim claims he's called out sick 80 or 90 times this year despite never actually being ill.
- 1:05People should go to work instead of spreading flu excuses; they're enabling harm by not showing up.
- 1:41Everyone uses the flu in winter and allergies in spring as cover to avoid obligations.
- 1:59Tim questions whether he's the only liar about sickness, or if most people are equally dishonest.
- 2:32His grandmother and grandfather always showed up to work no matter what they had.
- 2:49Tim's mother worked every day without time off, but went insane later in life from the stress.
- 3:00She showed up at 5 a.m. cracked out to supervise elderly Jewish people doing water aerobics.
- 3:28He's doing the show solo because Nick Mullen and others called out sick with the flu.
- 2 min
GoFundMe Culture and Facebook Grief Tourism
#He riffs on the endless stream of GoFundMe campaigns he sees daily, mocking a comic from Long Island who tried to GoFundMe a brand-new car, and blasting people on Facebook demanding details of how someone died.
5moments
- 3:46Tim describes legitimate GoFundMe's scattered across Facebook, all competing for donations.
- 4:18Tim can't donate to every GoFundMe despite being a good-ish person on social media 16-17 hours daily.
- 4:48He sees five legitimate GoFundMe's a day, conservative estimate, aside from obvious bullshit requests.
- 5:14A Long Island comic put up a GoFundMe asking for seventeen grand for a brand new car to see his kids.
- 5:44Tim refuses to donate so someone can get a luxury car while being a bad father.
Brianna
- 3 min
A Childhood Friend's Heroin Overdose
#Tim tells the story of a childhood friend from Long Island who recently died of a heroin overdose, describing their bike-riding, Nintendo-playing childhood and the friend's kind messages to him during his addiction.
5moments
- 6:15Tim recently had a childhood friend die from a heroin overdose
- 7:07Facebook users asking invasive questions about how someone died, trying to reverse-engineer the cause from old profile pictures
- 8:01The friend messaged Tim during his addiction to compliment his comedy, which meant a lot to him
- 8:28Tim has family members involved with drugs and is grateful he never did heroin, saying it's probably better than comedy
- 8:43The friend's mother is missing a foot because of diabetes and there's a GoFundMe
- 10 min
The GoFundMe Donation Arms Race
#Tim details his strategy of donating to GoFundMes only to project wealth and status to people he grew up with, obsessively tracking how much others donated to his late friend's funeral fund and escalating his own donation to $300 to 'win' the silent status competition.
10moments
- 9:20Tim explains his strategy for choosing GoFundMe donations: only give to people he knows so he can project wealth and success to them.
- 10:39The goal is to help someone while making people think you're doing better than they are by the amount you donate.
- 11:20Tim considers donating $5,000 to cover someone's entire funeral, then talks himself down as momentary insanity.
- 12:26He wants to donate heavily enough to get a personal thank-you message from the GoFundMe organizer saying 'God bless you.'
- 12:43Tim discovers a friend donated $250 to a funeral, turning it into a silent auction for who's doing best from their hometown.
- 13:17He commits to donating $300, claiming he wants to walk around at the funeral and have everyone see he covered the mass cards.
- 14:04Tim is devastated when the GoFundMe organizer says there won't be a service, ruining his plan to receive public thanks in person.
- 15:06Someone donated $1,000, enraging Tim and destroying his status as the biggest donor among people from his hometown.
- 16:47Tim's ultimate goal: make enough money to help people he knows publicly so everyone sees he's successful and charitable.
- 17:36You must pick and choose who to help with GoFundMe donations and build social capital by making sure people see your generosity.
- 3 min
Wrapping Up the GoFundMe Bit and Friends Who Need an Exit
#He closes out the GoFundMe riff, reflects on his friend being a 'fighter' against addiction, and darkly jokes that many of his still-living friends would be better off with a terminal diagnosis and a GoFundMe.
9moments
- 19:17Tim argues his charity work means he's going to heaven, not hell.
- 19:37Donating a thousand dollars to the GoFundMe either means someone is deeply affected or they're playing the game at a lower level than him.
- 19:54Tim explains why he didn't stay close to the deceased friend: he wasn't doing heroin, so their social circles never overlapped.
- 20:14When Tim was a cocaine addict, only other cocaine addicts wanted to hang around him and his crew.
- 21:03The friend was a good kid who always tried to clean himself up and fight his way out of addiction.
- 21:32Tim claims many of his friends would be better off dead than alive, given their circumstances.
- 21:43For people in their mid-thirties with nothing and no future, an operable tumor and a GoFundMe would be the best outcome.
- 22:03Tim describes the fantasy: a doctor says wrap it up, a GoFundMe raises fifty grand, and they get twelve months to spend it before death.
- 22:17It's sad that this is what passes for hope for people on Long Island.
heroinLong IslandRicky MartinHectorSonia
- 5 min
Tim lays out the background on Jeffrey Epstein, Little St. James island, the Lolita Express, Ghislaine Maxwell, Virginia Giuffre's lawsuit, and cautions listeners not to expect newly unsealed documents to definitively answer everything, comparing it to the JFK document dump.
8moments
- 22:24Jeffrey Epstein is a billionaire pedophile who owned a private island called Little St. James and a plane called the Lolita Express.
- 22:41Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew were frequent guests on the Lolita Express, with Clinton apparently leaving his Secret Service detail behind on some trips.
- 23:17Epstein and British socialite Gislaine Maxwell allegedly ran an international sex ring involving underage girls.
- 23:48Judge Acosta, now Secretary of Labor, gave Epstein a sweetheart deal requiring minimal prison time and no disclosure of co-conspirators' names.
- 24:33Secret documents from Virginia Guffrey's 2015 defamation lawsuit against Maxwell may soon become public after a court ruling.
- 25:07Guffrey claims Maxwell recruited her into Epstein's sex ring at age 16; Maxwell denied it, prompting the defamation suit.
- 25:32Tim compares the anticipated document release to Trump's JFK declassification, cautioning that redactions and selective releases may limit revelations.
- 26:22Reddit sleuths will dig through released documents, some making genuine connections while others concoct elaborate conspiracy theories.
Jeffrey EpsteinGislaine MaxwellBill ClintonPrince AndrewAlexander AcostaVirginia GiuffreLittle St JamesDonald Trump+1 more
- 8 min
Reading from the Miami Herald/New York Magazine reporting, Tim details the scale of Epstein's operation (80 victims, trafficking girls from Brazil and Ecuador), Trump banning him from Mar-a-Lago, and argues the operation likely involved intelligence-style blackmail, drawing a parallel to the Franklin scandal and Craig Spence's D.C. house.
10moments
- 27:07Miami Herald investigation exposes Epstein coercing at least 80 girls into massages and sexual acts.
- 27:21Epstein's not just abusing girls himself—he runs a sex pyramid scheme, recruiting victims to lure other victims to his home.
- 28:57Trump kicked Epstein out of Mar-a-Lago after he hit on an underage girl who was a member's daughter.
- 29:43In elite circles, there's a don't-ask-don't-tell agreement about shady behavior—blackmail material on one person could expose everyone else's secrets.
- 31:01Police found naked photos of underage girls, sex toys, written instructions, and Epstein had stripped his hard drives and removed surveillance equipment before they arrived.
- 32:02The Franklin scandal in Omaha ran an interstate pedophile network supplying underage boys to senators and powerful figures in D.C.
- 32:32That D.C. house was outfitted with cameras and recording devices—designed to blackmail compromised politicians forever.
- 32:55Intelligence agencies have always used sex to compromise assets—it's one of the most effective ways to own someone for life.
- 33:55Epstein's private island operation with billionaires and world leaders almost certainly involved blackmail to enforce the code of silence.
- 34:39Tim suspects the blackmail probably connected to domestic or foreign intelligence services, an element Nick Bryant shares.
Jeffrey EpsteinFranklin scandalMiami HeraldCraig SpenceNick BryantDonald Trump
- 5 min
Tim reads through the outrageous details of Epstein's 2007 plea deal — immunity for co-conspirators, a 13-month sentence in a private jail wing with 12-hour work furloughs six days a week — and notes prosecutor Alexander Acosta was later rewarded with a cabinet position as Secretary of Labor.
9moments
- 35:28Tim notes that powerful leaders are connected to the suspect through his plane and social circle.
- 35:59Federal prosecutors and Epstein's lawyers obtained emails showing a collaborative rather than adversarial relationship.
- 36:41The plea agreement grants Epstein immunity from all related federal criminal charges and immunity for any potential co-conspirators.
- 36:54This immunity provision effectively forbids the FBI from investigating further evidence of international sex trafficking.
- 37:27Tim points out the plea deal makes it retroactively legal for anyone who conspired with Epstein to rape the alleged victims.
- 38:18Epstein receives a 13-month sentence while people serve longer sentences for smoking marijuana in their driveway.
- 38:39The sentence is served in a private wing of a county jail nicer than Tim's apartment, and he's allowed to work six days a week.
- 39:10Tim compares Epstein effectively only sleeping in jail to Black and Hispanic people rotting in cells for selling negligible amounts of weed.
- 39:31Tim dismisses the idea that conspiracies don't exist and calls out the disparity in the justice system.
- 4 min
He continues detailing how the plea agreement was kept secret from victims to prevent legal challenge, and covers the ongoing court fight (Dershowitz, the Miami Herald) to unseal over a thousand documents from the 2017 case.
7moments
- 39:44Federal prosecutors kept the plea agreement secret from Epstein's victims to prevent them from protesting it in court.
- 40:21Eighty women corroborated claims against Epstein, all underage, and he was previously convicted of molesting a 14-year-old girl.
- 41:10Emails show prosecutors and defense attorneys were too close, collaborating to minimize scandal rather than pursue justice.
- 41:21Instead of charging sex offenses, prosecutors pursued witness tampering and misdemeanor charges allowing Epstein to plead guilty secretly in Miami rather than Palm Beach County where his victims lived.
- 41:42The temple on Epstein's Little St. James island appears to be a replica of an Israeli temple or Masonic structure, its purpose unknown.
- 42:26Tim observes the government bent over backwards to make life comfortable for someone clearly running an international sex ring with a mysterious temple on his private island.
- 43:07Public outrage has mounted over the plea deal, prompting pressure on the Justice Department to investigate how such lenient terms were arranged.
Jeffrey EpsteinLittle St JamesBobby Hutchins
- 7 min
Acosta's Reward and the Mysterious Temple on the Island
#Tim covers Acosta's appointment as Secretary of Labor despite the plea deal ruling, then speculates wildly about the strange temple structure on Little St. James Island, joking about occult rumors and religious hypocrisy among the elite, including a Stephen Hawking joke.
9moments
- 45:03Acosta, who gave Epstein the sweetheart deal, was rewarded with a cabinet position as Secretary of Labor.
- 46:00Prosecutors violated the law by failing to inform Epstein's victims of the plea deal, even though the deal itself was absurdly lenient.
- 46:50Tim outlines Epstein's operation: 80 victims, connections to Prince Andrew and Bill Clinton, his own plane and island, girls from Ecuador and internationally.
- 47:56The cover-up likely involved powerful people protecting their own legacies and avoiding prosecution for their own involvement.
- 48:59Without the internet and public discussion, these crimes would have stayed hidden and nobody would face pressure to investigate.
- 49:44Tim's cynical bet: despite document releases, the rich people involved will probably evade jail again like they always do.
- 50:24Little St. James, Epstein's island, is the kind of story designed to make Reddit conspiracy theorists obsess over it.
- 50:48Stephen Hawking visited the island—but Tim argues the poor guy looked like a cooked shrimp, so let him have some fun.
- 51:08Reddit is focused on a mysterious pagan temple on the island.
Alexander AcostaJeffrey EpsteinGhislaine MaxwellAlan DershowitzLittle St JamesBill ClintonPrince AndrewMiami Herald+2 more
- 6 min
Pizzagate, Elite Sex Trafficking, and Vindication
#Tim argues the Epstein case proves organized elite sex trafficking is real, pushing back on people who dismissed Pizzagate-style claims, and says he plans to have journalist Nick Bryant back on once he recovers from the flu to go deeper.
10moments
- 51:18Despicable people engaged in abuse tend to be outwardly religious, which Tim finds darkly interesting.
- 51:46Tim notes it's actually crazier if someone is just abusing children and attending mass without occult ritual.
- 52:12Nick Bryant is the foremost expert on sex trafficking and has found information unavailable on the internet.
- 52:37After Pizzagate, people dismissed the possibility of organized elite sex trafficking, but that's factually wrong.
- 53:25The Epstein case completely proves that organized, coordinated sex trafficking involving wealthy elites actually happens.
- 54:24The Epstein case shows sex trafficking is not only real but actively covered up at the highest levels.
- 54:55Epstein's island, the Lolita Express jet, and 80 women alleging childhood molestation make the reality undeniable.
- 55:33Tim gives advice on how to choose who to help via GoFundMe as a vehicle for projecting self-worth.
- 56:19Understanding GoFundMe as a tool for validating yourself helps other people actually receive assistance.
- 56:50Subscribe to Tim Dillon's YouTube channel and social media accounts for full videos and clips.
Jeffrey EpsteinNick Bryantsex traffickingPizzagateFranklin scandalTrue DetectiveCatholic Church
- 3 min
Tim runs through tour dates (DC Improv, Laughs Boston, Dead Crow Wilmington), plugs the podcast, YouTube channel, and iTunes ratings, and closes with a final joke about using his own future GoFundMe to show off.
7moments
- 57:18Tour dates: DC Improv April 4–6, Laughs Boston in May, Dead Crow in Wilmington North Carolina, Skankfast in June.
- 58:01Tim explains the episode as a primer on Epstein so listeners can argue with coworkers who deny sex trafficking and cults exist.
- 58:35Only the criminal activity that rises to public attention is known; imagine what actually happens in the country that stays hidden.
- 58:52Tim pushes back against people who call conspiracy theorists crazy, demanding they explain Epstein's sweetheart deal and island activities.
- 59:21The facts presented have blown people's minds in the studio, and next week Nick Bryant will go much deeper into other possibilities.
- 59:54Nick Bryant looks like a ghost because he researched the Franklin scandal and has seen things that would drive anyone insane.
- 1:00:22Tim's GoFundMe pledge: when he's dying and sets one up, listeners should donate big to show they're real men compared to other subscribers.