rant · moment 11 of 14
Howie's Dildo Purchase and High School Girlfriend Stories
from Not A Legal Expert · #106
Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.
6 minRay and Howie riff on Howie buying his girlfriend a large black dildo on credit instead of flowers, leading into Ray's story about his cheating high school girlfriend and a graphic anecdote about his first blowjob.
- 38:40Tim is buying sex toys online and paying them off in installments while trying to get a nicer apartment.
- 39:44He bought his high school girlfriend a large black dildo on his first credit card instead of flowers.
- 40:20Tim's philosophy: buy the bigger dildo first so she'll grow into it, like hand-me-downs for kids.
- 40:51During his first blowjob, the girl started fingering his ass, which he defends as not gay.
- 41:54His credit limit on that first card was probably a thousand dollars, which he spent on stupid stuff.
- 42:19Along with the dildo, he bought a water-spraying bow tie and whoopee cushions on credit.
- 43:20Tim describes himself as a giant nerd in high school batting way out of his league with his girlfriend.
- 43:33His girlfriend was fucking other guys toward the end of their relationship but didn't tell him about it.
- 44:01Tim explains that red underwear looks good on Black men and shows off what they have going on.