Episode 104 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
How Did We Lose This Country
Jul 12, 2018 · 1:01:13 · 16 segments, 112 moments indexed
- 1 min
Opening music and show title announcement for Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell with Tim Dillon and Ray Kump.
1moment
- 0:11Show intro: Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell with Tim Dillon and Ray Kump
- 3 min
Godiva's Norman G Collection and Nazi Chocolatiers
#Tim and Ray riff on Shannon's absence, then Ray tells the setup of buying his mom Godiva chocolate at Roosevelt Field Mall, leading into a bit about how all fancy European chocolatiers are secretly ex-Nazis.
4moments
- 1:12Shannon's busy with her own show now.
- 1:43Tim worries about who would believe he didn't kill Shannon if her bones were found.
- 2:09Godiva is described as the chocolate choice for white trash people.
- 2:35Norman G's name is probably actually Norman Garing.
- 4 min
The Prostitute, the Dolce & Gabbana Watch, and the Xbox That Never Came
#Ray tells the full story of buying a $250 Dolce & Gabbana watch for a prostitute girlfriend who promised him an Xbox, the breakup, and demanding the watch back before regifting it to his mother.
10moments
- 2:56Tim went to Roosevelt Field Mall to buy his girlfriend a Dolce & Gabbana watch she spotted at Macy's for $250.
- 3:30He questions whether $250 is an appropriate amount to spend on a watch for a 24-year-old to give a girl.
- 4:11She had promised to buy him an Xbox in exchange, which he now acknowledges was a red flag given her profession as a prostitute.
- 4:43Her family reacted with gratitude when they saw the watch, treating it like a major gift.
- 5:19She broke up with him a few weeks later, claiming she needed time to think, though she was actually sleeping with someone else.
- 5:43Tim argues that since she was paid for sex, she shouldn't have lied about being exclusive or owed him anything beyond that transaction.
- 6:04He demanded the watch back when she broke up with him, and she returned it along with dinosaur DVDs he'd given her.
- 6:27In addition to the watch, Tim had also bought her Jacob's Ladder on DVD, but she made him take that back too.
- 6:42He kept the watch and eventually gave it to his mother as a Christmas gift.
- 7:00Tim also gave his mother the Norman G Godiva chocolate collection for Christmas, noting Godiva is a white people marketing trick.
Dolce and GabbanaGodivaRoosevelt Field mallDinosaursLindenhurstJacob's Ladder
- 4 min
Godiva's Broken Syrup Machine at Mohegan Sun
#Tim recounts working Mohegan Sun casino shows, the rundown crowd of amputees and oxygen-tank gamblers, and a chaotic scene at the Godiva store where staff struggle to get syrup out of a jammed dispenser for his parfait.
9moments
- 7:03Comedy shows at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut draw crowds of chain-smoking amputees, obese people on scooters, and elderly Asian tour groups—the crud on the bottom of the universe's pocketbook.
- 7:27Tim visits Godiva between Saturday shows after seeing their advertised parfait, discovers they now make soft-serve ice cream and shakes.
- 7:52Soft-serve operations at upscale chocolate shops are a disaster—the process is loud, messy, with whipped cream flying everywhere and half-empty milk containers in back.
- 8:30Tim requests chocolate syrup in his berry parfait; staff say the syrup is stuck in the container and start banging the vat against the wall.
- 8:58Employee repeatedly bangs the syrup vat while another staff member suggests running it under hot water and offering to put her fingers in to loosen it.
- 9:16Meanwhile, other Godiva employees on the floor try to maintain their classy chocolate shop presentation while banging and struggling with the syrup in the background.
- 9:37The Godiva parfait cup turns out to be too small; Tim requests his money back, and staff confirm many customers complain about the size.
- 10:03Godiva is the American version of a real chocolatier, unlike proper chocolate shops like Mizan in New York City.
- 10:14All the Swiss chocolate companies are Nazis from the Bund, hiding gold and making truffles while concealing Holocaust connections.
- 2 min
SJW Ray Song and Godiva's American Bastardization
#Tim riffs on how American culture bastardizes European luxury goods into milkshakes and sundaes, then they debut a joke song called "SJW Ray" mocking diversity-comedy-festival pandering.
5moments
- 10:38Tim describes how American companies bastardize European products like chocolate by turning them into milkshakes, ice cream cones, and sundaes because Americans won't just buy chocolate alone.
- 11:07Post-WWII Europe was devastated with almost everyone dead and all buildings gone, so claims about 150-year heritage seem questionable given what they were actually up to during that period.
- 11:23They debut a song called 'SJW Ray' as a parody of performative activism.
- 12:03Tim questions when interracial sex became an SJW thing, noting it's just normal.
- 12:28Tim wants to use the song drop to get the podcast invited to diversity comedy festivals, joking that they've been invited to zero festivals so far.
Tig NotaroNorman Garing
- 6 min
Atlantic City vs. Mohegan Sun: BYOB Strip Clubs and Home Invasion Warnings
#They compare gambling trips to Atlantic City (a sketchy BYOB fully-nude strip club, hookers propositioning at hotel check-in, losing money fast at blackjack) against Mohegan Sun's own seedy charm, including hotel staff warning guests to lock their doors.
16moments
- 12:45Tim was supposed to come to Mohegan Sun but never confirmed, disappointing the host.
- 13:18Host at the event had a vulgar 10-minute bit that didn't land well.
- 13:41Tim went to Atlantic City with his old boss, played poker, and visited a strip club.
- 14:07BYOB strip club in Atlantic City—full-nude venues can't serve alcohol, so customers bring their own beer.
- 14:20On the way to the strip club, Tim felt tracked by local people; Atlantic City is sketchy.
- 14:39Tim was propositioned by hookers at the Trump-tage but didn't go for it.
- 14:56Won $300 at three-card poker, then lost it all within 10 minutes; won $150 at blackjack but walked away instead of doubling down.
- 15:26Tim describes being given a $50,000 marker at the casino while Native American security looked on.
- 16:08Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun are both massive casinos built 20 minutes apart in Connecticut to serve demand from upstate and Pennsylvania.
- 16:49Mohegan Sun warned Tim to lock his hotel room door and told him not to leave the property without security.
- 17:03Tim questions why the casino doesn't do perimeter security instead of forcing guests to sit behind locked doors with guns.
- 17:27The casino can't turn away anyone at the door because they might spend money, even though statistically some will rob or kill guests.
- 18:01At the Showboat in Atlantic City, the check-in speech consisted only of warnings to lock doors and be aware—no other instructions given.
- 18:33Mohegan Sun gets dark and depressing, but Tim appreciates the honesty of elderly people on oxygen tanks playing games there.
- 18:50The most patriotic people are those who've won money at casinos and believe in America.
- 19:05The guest is elsewhere during this segment, on another radio show.
- 5 min
Michael Jordan's Steakhouse Disaster and Bobby Flay's Reputation
#Tim describes a terrible $95 porterhouse dinner with garbage lobster mashed potatoes at Michael Jordan's Steakhouse, then pivots to hating Bobby Flay personally, rumors about his ex-wife, and his affair with a Food Network co-star.
10moments
- 19:17Michael Jordan Steakhouse served one of the worst meals Tim ever had.
- 19:32Tim hates Bobby Flay as a person and his persona.
- 19:43A picture of Bobby Flay with Carl, who worked at a burger palace, hung in the restaurant like it was Obama.
- 20:04Famous Cleveland bakery features a huge picture of Mario Batali outside despite him being a rapist.
- 20:50Tim's friend texted that Michael Jordan Steakhouse is slop, then told him to look around at the garbage clientele.
- 21:04The steakhouse served a trio of mashed potatoes including one with lobster that tasted like it came from people's mouths.
- 21:50The menu offered ridiculous crust options like crab and Gorgonzola for people who want lobster on everything.
- 22:35Bar-A-Mara-Can, Bobby Flay's restaurant, actually had decent food including nice seared tuna tartare.
- 23:28Bobby Flay was obviously having an affair with a female cohost on Food Network about 15 years ago.
- 23:44Mostly Homemade host Sandra Lee makes cocktails from absurd ingredients like creamsoup and vodka while drunk and dating Governor Cuomo.
Michael Jordan SteakhouseBobby FlayMario BataliBar-A-Mara-CanJared FriedSandra LeeAndrew Cuomo
- 2 min
Barefoot Contessa Impression and Celebrity Chef Culture
#They discuss Ina Garten's husband Jeffrey, praise a comedian's raunchy impression of the Barefoot Contessa, and riff on Giada De Laurentiis and Mario Batali before Tim recounts eating calf brains at a Bourdain-inspired restaurant.
4moments
- 24:43Frank Liotti does an impression of Barefoot Contessa where he depicts her husband Jeffrey with his leather daddy friends and describes making strawberry shortcake using Crisco for a crude sexual act.
- 25:23Tim says the celebrity chef era is winding down now that good food is accessible in many places.
- 25:39Andrew Zimmern sent Tim to eat brains once and it was terrible because nobody chooses to eat brains.
- 26:07Tim identifies himself as an adventurous guy, then pivots to Brett Kavanaugh.
Andrew ZimmernFrank LiottiGiada De LaurentiisBobby FlayAnthony BourdainContessa
- 1 min
Tim briefly reacts to the Kavanaugh Supreme Court pick and predicts states will restrict rather than fully overturn abortion and gay marriage rights.
3moments
- 26:24With abortion pills available online now, Roe v. Wade is less necessary in this era.
- 26:39Tim doesn't think the Supreme Court will actually overturn Roe v. Wade, just add restrictions.
- 26:50The Supreme Court might overturn protections for gay marriage next.
- 9 min
QAnon, Pizzagate, and the Storm Conspiracy
#Tim unpacks the QAnon conspiracy theory in detail — the Anthony Weiner laptop, Guantanamo Bay theories, Sam Tripoli's belief in it — while arguing conspiracy theories used to require real research but now spread without any grounding in fact.
10moments
- 28:05Tim's favorite conspiracy now: QAnon, where an anonymous figure with supposed high intelligence clearance leaks vague stream-of-consciousness poems on Reddit that followers must decode to match news events.
- 28:44Tim theorizes Q is actually Trump after three Big Macs and six Diet Cokes, calling one of his CEO friends to rant about Jared Kushner and the White House.
- 29:33Sam Tripoli is a huge believer in QAnon conspiracies, convinced that a file on Anthony Weiner's desktop showed a child being murdered and Trump will put Obama and Clinton in Guantanamo Bay.
- 30:27Tim asks how crazy people need to be for excitement: race wars aren't enough, the wall isn't enough, trade wars aren't enough—they need presidents locked in Gitmo running human trafficking rings.
- 31:24The belief that Trump and the military are fighting the CIA together, as if those institutions aren't already at odds over money and power rather than ethics.
- 31:50Conspiracy theories aren't fun without facts—they require tangible information to be anything other than pure fiction.
- 32:28In the pre-internet era of Art Bell and Alex Jones in the late 90s, people didn't have Wikipedia or Google, so conspiracy theories were a lifestyle choice where you'd meet someone at a bar and stare at blacklight posters while discussing it.
- 33:20Well-meaning people without a conspiracy theory degree fall into these beliefs because they want truth, but you can understand monetary policy, military corruption, and the IMF without needing conspiracies.
- 34:02Tim's skepticism about both Marxism and libertarianism: 5% of incredibly smart, motivated people will always game any system to enslave others.
- 34:44His friend George, who works in a liquor store in Georgia, encountered a woman QAnon believer who insisted the Catholic Church is satanic despite him reading Bible passages from Catholic school.
QAnonSam TripoliAnthony WeinerDonald TrumpBarack ObamaHillary ClintonJared KushnerGuantanamo Bay+5 more
- 8 min
They play a recorded rant from a customer at Ray's friend's Georgia liquor store claiming Huma Abedin and Hillary Clinton raped and murdered a child on video, tying in CIA kidnapping and organ harvesting theories, which Tim and Ray dissect and mock.
10moments
- 36:54Tim notes the Georgia liquor store woman makes some good points grounded in truth, but then becomes completely wrong.
- 37:12She builds arguments on CIA facts but spirals into unfounded claims about powerful people's stupidity versus competence.
- 37:50Tim contrasts George H.W. Bush as a long-term professional operator with compartmentalization versus compulsive types like Anthony Weiner.
- 38:18The woman claims to have footage of Huma Abedin and Hillary Clinton raping and murdering a child of unknown age.
- 39:17She escalates to claiming the CIA is the biggest kidnapping organization in the USA and wouldn't let children near any adults.
- 39:49The conspiracy expands to organ harvesting in the Middle East, with organs removed while children are alive for transplants.
- 41:03She insists people in politics are literal lizard people possessed by demons, citing YouTube evidence of shapeshifters.
- 42:23Tim notes she mentions Operation Paperclip and claims everyone's a Nazi, then questions why America didn't just join Hitler.
- 43:09Tim separates what he knows—the CIA was capable of 9/11 and has committed terrible acts—from unfounded claims about Huma raping children on video.
- 44:32Tim explains why people need these fantasies: her life is nowhere, so she constructs secret knowledge and an apostolic mission to spread the word instead of confronting her own failures.
Hillary ClintonCIAGeorge H. W. BushAndy WienerHuma AbedinDavid Icke
- 8 min
Good, Evil, and Trump as a Prophet of God
#Tim and Ray discuss why people crave simple good-vs-evil narratives to cope with their own failed lives, comparing conspiracy believers to religious converts and mocking the idea that Trump was divinely chosen despite his history with Clinton and casinos.
11moments
- 45:18Tim on how belief in a higher purpose lets people avoid confronting their own failures and emotional abuse of family.
- 45:47Humans are obsessed with categorizing themselves and others on a spectrum of good and evil.
- 46:08People focus on identifying evil rather than actually stopping it—they just want others to know they've spotted the darkness.
- 46:35The most successful people contain both extreme good and extreme bad, and that contradiction is what makes them interesting.
- 47:14Trump treated as a prophet sent by God to defeat Hillary, despite being friends at her wedding three years prior and having three wives, casinos, and a beauty pageant.
- 48:21Nobody sees the irony that the man ordained by God for a mission was hanging out with Clinton until sometime between 2015 and 2016.
- 49:49Tim on his suspicion of Hollywood activism: the people seeking the spotlight aren't the ones who'll do the unglamorous work of legislative politics.
- 50:23Americans overwhelmingly oppose corporate lobbying and money in politics, but attitudes don't change systems.
- 51:08Most people agree the political system is hopelessly corrupt but have no idea how to fix it.
- 52:23Viewing the world in draconian terms of good versus evil makes it impossible to understand or solve anything.
- 52:38Conspiracy theorists constantly worship some version of Bahamut, replacing one demon with another.
Donald TrumpHillary ClintonJordan PetersonRoger Stonegood and evilBrett PittNeil deGrasse TysonReagan+1 more
- 2 min
Baphomet, the Knights Templar, and Wanting a Real Occult Scholar
#They look up the definition of Baphomet, joke about Da Vinci Code-style symbology professors, and Tim asks the audience to find a legitimate expert on secret societies and the occult for the show.
5moments
- 52:55Bahamut is the Hebrew name for a giant fish that supports the earth's crust.
- 53:32Tim spent years trying to book a real occult scholar or symbologist like Robert Langdon from The Da Vinci Code.
- 54:06The actual occult experts he finds are usually just drug-addled academics at Hunter College rambling about nonsense for hours.
- 54:20Tim appeals to listeners to send him information about legitimate occult scholars or Knights Templar experts with published work.
- 54:44Most scholarly knowledge about secret societies and the Templars turns out to be bullshit, but Tim believes some people have genuinely interesting things to say about it.
Knights TemplarBahamutJoseph CampbellTom Hanks
- 1 min
Spielberg, E.T., and Huma Abedin Buying Boone's Farm
#A dark tangent joking about Spielberg's Hollywood associations and E.T. imagery, capped by a bit imagining Huma Abedin casually buying cheap wine after her alleged crimes.
4moments
- 55:19Tim mentions potentially having Spielberg on the show
- 55:36Tim asks if E.T. is a rape movie
- 55:48Tim interprets E.T.'s glowing finger as a sinister message to children
- 56:15Tim concludes that the lifestyle he just described doesn't actually sound so bad
- 4 min
Tim runs through upcoming tour dates (Kennedy Center, Montreal, Ireland, Chicago, Providence, Lexington), plugs subscriptions, and jokes about wanting a real architect or engineer guest, name-checking Costas Kondylis and Trump Tower's design, before wrapping up.
9moments
- 56:41Tim announces he'll perform at the Kennedy Center this Thursday night in a janitor's closet instead of the big room.
- 57:17He's performing tomorrow night at the Divine Bar in a show called Comedians Who Don't Suck, though he's unsure that's the actual name.
- 58:02Tim asks listeners to tweet suggestions for interesting guests, saying he doesn't have time to find all the credible people in the world worth interviewing.
- 58:18He wants to get an engineer or architect on the show—someone who knows how to build bridges or suspension bridges.
- 58:39Tim discusses architect Costas Carianas, who convinced Trump not to make his downtown Manhattan building gold, which would have ruined the recognizable skyline.
- 59:23Getting major architects or business people on the show is difficult because they don't feel comfortable with the platform.
- 59:39Ray recalls eating a sandwich from a filthy Subway where he saw roaches, then gave the watch from that encounter to his mom.
- 1:00:21Ray's mom responded to learning about the sandwich incident by thanking him for not killing the woman.
- 1:00:36Ray explains he promised to get his mom an Xbox but instead gave her a dinosaur DVD after the woman took his heart to the mall.
Donald TrumpKennedy CenterGaS DigitalCostas CarianasMontreal Comedy FestivalZany'sComedy ConnectionComedy on Broadway+2 more
- 1 min
Final goodbye to close the episode.
1moment
- 1:00:48Tim shows off the watch as a closing bit before saying goodbye.