rant · moment 2 of 22

Racquetball Fantasies and Shitting Himself

from Prove It, You Dumb Fuck! · #91

Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.

3 min

Tim riffs on the idea of playing racquetball like a Gordon Gekko finance bro versus the reality of Nassau Community College, spiraling into a bit about shitting himself mid-deal and having a baby during a match.

In this bit9 moments
  • 9:01Tim describes walking into a locker room, seeing himself in the mirror, and accepting that he looks gross all the time anyway.
  • 9:15The gym culture at his friend's old membership was roided-out fighters and drug deals in the parking lot.
  • 9:42Discussing gym membership price points—one with a shitty pool costs $400 a year, or about $35-40 a month.
  • 9:59Asphalt Green membership is $139 a month and includes an Olympic-sized pool and fitness center facing the East River.
  • 10:22New York Athletic Club is invitation-only and requires committee approval, while New York Sports Club is commercial.
  • 10:41High-end finance companies often throw in a New York Athletic Club membership as a job benefit.
  • 10:52Tim says he loves racquetball and the business of it, imagining guys playing racquetball in a fancy setting.
  • 11:17Tim references sweating, being fat, and creating shit streaks while stinking up the gym during racquetball.
  • 11:43Clarifying that he was juicing it up—people imagine him shitting himself and bleeding to death, or having a baby while playing racquetball and not closing the deal.
Mentioned here

New York Athletic ClubNew York Sports ClubAsphalt Greenracquetball

All 22 moments in this episode →