rant · moment 16 of 17
Captain Kirk and the Cat-in-the-Blender Legend
from What Does Your Brother Do In The Navy · #82
Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.
5 minTim tells a long Long Island childhood drug story about a man called Captain Kirk who supplied weed to teenagers, rumored to have put a cat in a blender/microwave, leading into memories of burnt-out addicts and impoverished households from his youth.
- 53:43Tim was supposed to go to Cuba as a guest of Castro to prove how the American system didn't work.
- 54:36Captain Kirk was a local character who lived in assisted living and would bring weed to teenagers in town.
- 55:12Everyone pretended Captain Kirk was actually the actor, and he'd talk about getting people to "blast off" on acid and shrooms.
- 55:47The legend was that Captain Kirk put a cat in a blender, and also allegedly in a microwave.
- 56:21Tim debates whether a blender would actually kill a cat depending on the blade sharpness.
- 56:35Tim tracks down people he did drugs with in 1999 on social media and notes they're still doing drugs hard into middle age.
- 56:59One kid's mother in her 50s or 60s would smoke weed and drink while working at a grocery store.
- 57:17Description of the living conditions at that kid's house: dirty, ashtrays everywhere, burn holes in carpet, stacked dishes.
- 57:41The mother would come home exhausted from the grocery store, get high and drunk, and spend the night reading magazines and watching TV in a trashed bedroom.
- 58:07Tim acknowledges that these real-life stories from his past are more interesting than traveling to famous landmarks.
- 58:29Tim reflects on how fortunate he and his guest have been to have rich, textured lives with great stories they can't tell publicly.