Episode 75 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Matt Lauer of The Vatican
Dec 18, 2017 · 1:03:38 · 16 segments, 117 moments indexed
- 1 min
Show opening music and intro announcement.
1moment
- 0:23Opening of Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell, welcomes audience to the live stream on GaS Digital Network
- 2 min
Roy Moore Victory Party and the Horse Voter
#Tim and Ray Kump discuss the Roy Moore Senate race, exit polls on evangelicals, and a strange story of a man riding a horse to vote.
6moments
- 0:48Roy Moore showed up on a horse to vote for himself.
- 1:04Tim notes the contrast: voters divided on underage accusations, but Moore rides up on horseback looking like a governor.
- 1:18Exit polls showed Trump approval and disapproval split evenly at 48% each—a complete toss-up.
- 1:2957% of voters said they don't identify as born-again or evangelical—bad news for Moore's campaign.
- 1:42Evangelicals will support you as long as you're evangelical, because Christianity allows you to do heinous things and then get saved and become a different person.
- 2:01Neocons and Pentecostals believe Jesus will return to Israel, so they want that location for metaphysical reasons.
- 5 min
Born Again Christianity, Forgiveness, and the Prodigal Son
#They dig into how evangelical Christianity allows people to be 'saved' and have their past erased, comparing it to AA, George W. Bush's redemption story, and the parable of the prodigal son with a Patrice O'Neal riff on Charlie Sheen.
9moments
- 2:24Fundamentalist military leaders belong to Knights of Malta with radical religious beliefs tied to end times theology and Israel.
- 2:52Born again Christians believe prior sins are expunged once saved, which Roy Moore uses to distance himself from past allegations.
- 3:19Evangelical Christians will excuse almost any behavior if someone claims to have given themselves to God.
- 3:50The overlap between religious conversion and AA-style reinvention lets people completely discount their past behavior.
- 4:16Jesus doesn't save you unless you do heinous shit first—the whole point of the prodigal son and why George W. Bush's redemption arc worked.
- 5:11In the parable, the brother who stayed and did everything right gets angry when the father throws a party for the returning prodigal son.
- 5:46The father tells the obedient son he's always had everything, but celebrates because the lost sheep has returned.
- 6:07Tim references Patrice O'Neill's roast bit about Emilio Estevez being the good brother while Charlie Sheen sells his own blood.
- 6:43Evangelical Christians are openly religious and will engage directly about faith and morality with strangers.
George W. BushPatrice O'NealRoy MooreEvangelical ChristianityCharlie SheenSeymour HershKnights of MaltaEmilio Estevez
- 6 min
Evangelicals, Roy Moore Voters, and the 'War' Mentality
#Discussion of an Uber driver's evangelical views, Catholic vs evangelical proselytizing, and the theory that Roy Moore voters see themselves as soldiers in a culture war who excuse anything for their side.
10moments
- 7:24Tim contrasts Catholicism with evangelical Christianity, noting Catholics don't proselytize door-to-door while evangelical sects actively spread their word.
- 8:51Voting for Roy Moore means believing you're in a war and he's on your side, regardless of the evidence against him.
- 9:25Disenfranchised Christians feel they're in a cultural war, which is why they overlooked Trump's indiscretions, multiple marriages, and liberal New York background.
- 9:42Tim explains that abortion matters far more to religious voters than most people realize because they genuinely believe it's murder.
- 10:48Many evangelicals want to defund Planned Parenthood and all public health services providing birth control or related services.
- 11:06These same people who call abortion murder often support the death penalty in an unjust criminal justice system.
- 11:45The same voters who cite the sanctity of life oppose restrictions on what firearms a thirteen-year-old can purchase.
- 12:09Tim notes his mother is intelligent and pro-life but doesn't support Trump because she objects to how he attacks women.
- 12:36There's something noble about genuinely believing abortion is murder, but it's also wishy-washy to say you believe it's wrong yet support allowing it.
- 12:48If you truly think people are murdering children in medical facilities, the position that it should remain legal is logically inconsistent.
- 4 min
Tim and Ray debate the consistency of pro-life beliefs against support for the death penalty and gun rights, then discuss a news story about Aetna denying a girl's brain surgery, questioning selective compassion.
10moments
- 13:03Joke about pro-lifers being cool about it, just holding signs if they really believed abortion was murder.
- 13:17Tim's grandmother was devout Catholic but didn't believe a couple days of pregnancy meant carrying a child.
- 13:45She got mad at Republicans for wanting kids born but then not caring for them afterward.
- 13:58Religious people tend to be charitable in their own lives and don't want government doing it.
- 14:12Tim's issue: allowing religious beliefs to guide all politics lets the military state and drug companies operate unchecked.
- 15:03Aetna denied a girl with epileptic seizures coverage for minimally invasive brain surgery.
- 15:33People focused on unborn rights should look at that girl's situation and consider what compassion actually means.
- 15:56Evangelical in the car said he was trying to get an operation before the year ended because he didn't have the money.
- 16:15Tim: these people don't even pause at a story like that, even if they claim compassion as their guiding philosophy.
- 16:29A baby with brain tumors can be written off easily, which seems like a problem if compassion is your prevailing belief.
- 4 min
Judaism, the Real Message of Jesus, and Country as Show Business
#A digression into Judaism's legalistic nature and lack of afterlife focus, followed by the idea that Jesus's core message was simply to help others, tying into how America and celebrity function like show business built on collective delusion.
6moments
- 17:04Judaism doesn't believe in heaven, which makes it unique among major religions.
- 17:40Jesus's core message boils down to loving each other and helping people—not legalistic commandments.
- 18:08Tim references Al Franken's "Supply Side Jesus" sketch about how religious conservatives invoke God while endorsing profit-maximization.
- 18:46Insurance companies deny life-saving treatments because they're for-profit, then tell people to pray instead.
- 19:35Tim prefers cold-hearted people who don't pretend to be good over hypocrites who hide their selfishness behind morality.
- 20:16It's strange what people choose to care about—claiming to care about the unborn while ignoring CIA torture and mass incarceration.
insurance companiesAl FrankenJesus ChristAetnaJudaismAnn CoulterRush Limbaugh
- 6 min
Torture, Complicity, and the Catholic Church's Wealth vs Action
#Riffing on societal willingness to ignore war crimes and torture, then pivoting to how the extremely wealthy Catholic Church fails to use its resources to address abuse scandals or poverty despite being a massive property owner.
9moments
- 21:10Tim argues that Americans collectively roll over on horrible government actions once they become public knowledge.
- 21:50Everyone involved in entertainment and media has a personal investment in the mythology and potential outcomes of what they're producing.
- 22:29The country functions similarly to show business, with mutually enforced delusions about people in power and artificially subsidized lives.
- 23:18Tim doesn't dismiss people who say the country has abandoned God—he acknowledges they're avoiding the weight of slavery, imperial wars, and national violence throughout history.
- 24:00The foundational packaging of the country is show business at the highest level, with government simply invoking God's name for legitimacy.
- 24:34The Catholic Church's relationship to government mirrors the royal family's role: lending quasi-mystical authority and collective buy-in to the state.
- 25:03Despite holding billions in assets and being one of the world's largest property owners, the Catholic Church doesn't meaningfully use its wealth to change policy on issues like sexual assault.
- 25:57Tim proposes doing a deep investigation into the Catholic Church's inner workings, the Vatican Bank, and the College of Cardinals' actual efforts on poverty and social issues.
- 26:22Christopher Hitchens wrote about Mother Teresa in a book called "The Missionary Position," critiquing her record and actual impact on alleviating poverty.
Catholic ChurchKarl RoveIraq WarComedy CentralBill GatesVatican BankChristopher HitchensRuss Baker+2 more
- 6 min
Mother Teresa, the Vatican's Secrets, and the College of Cardinals
#Discussion of Christopher Hitchens' critique of Mother Teresa as glorifying poverty rather than fighting it, plus speculation about what secrets the Vatican Bank and Cardinals are hiding, and the recent Pope's resignation.
10moments
- 26:44Mother Teresa's role was essentially hospice care—watching people die comfortably rather than actually saving lives.
- 27:30The Catholic Church claims to be the world's biggest charity, but as a massive enterprise it perpetuates itself rather than being a more dynamic force.
- 28:00The Catholic hierarchy feels militaristic compared to other religions, with an unclear endgame beyond personal glorification.
- 28:27Cardinals build themselves massive villas and get rich while the Vatican keeps secrets about why the previous Pope resigned.
- 29:01The current Pope is the most liberal and progressive the Church has had in a long time, but he still has to hold certain lines.
- 30:09The documentary Maximum Mea Culpa reveals Vatican inner workings, showing which Cardinals excel at fundraising and moving money around.
- 30:38What's in the Vatican archives and the Vatican bank—do they know it's all bullshit, or does someone?
- 31:01The Council of Nicaea decided which gospels would be considered canon, leaving out the Gospel of Thomas and Gnostic Gospels.
- 31:31The excluded gospels show a radically different version of events, directly contradicting the four gospels in the Bible.
- 31:52There's a missing gap between Jesus at age 12 and age 33 when he reappears as the Son of God in the canonical account.
Catholic ChurchVaticanVatican BankCouncil of NicaeaGnostic GospelsGospel of Thomas
- 5 min
The Gnostic Gospels and Whether Jesus Existed
#A deep dive into the Council of Nicaea deciding which gospels made the Bible, the Gospel of Thomas, the historicity of Jesus, and comparisons to other mythologies like Zeitgeist's claims.
10moments
- 32:46Tim describes what he learned in religion class about historical evidence for Jesus — four secular instances from historians.
- 33:39The problem with ancient accounts of Jesus is that most are second-hand, not first-person testimony.
- 34:03Tim explores the Zeitgeist argument that Jesus borrowed mythology from earlier religions like Horus with similar elements like twelve disciples.
- 34:35He wonders what the Catholic Church hierarchy knows that the public doesn't and suspects they're covering up war crimes and complicity.
- 35:18People who climb the ladder in institutions tend to be cynical and ruthless, not naive believers.
- 35:38Serious theologians studying the Bible confront questions that lead them to reinterpret scripture as metaphor without explicitly denying belief.
- 36:12Tim recounts dinner with priests at the 21 Club in New York, including a 28-year-old white guy in the priesthood.
- 36:31Father Michael Judge was an openly gay priest who ran into the Twin Towers on 9-11 to give last rites and died there.
- 36:47Priests can be openly gay but cannot engage in any sexual acts; celibacy applies to all sexual orientation.
- 37:35Tim estimates roughly 85% of priests actually have sex despite their vow of celibacy.
Father Michael JudgeJesus ChristPlutarchCarnegie Hallthe 21 ClubJosephus
- 6 min
Priests, Celibacy, and Father Mychal Judge
#Tim and Ray talk about how many priests secretly break their celibacy vows, the story of openly gay 9/11 hero priest Father Mychal Judge, and why young men join the seminary anyway.
10moments
- 37:47Priests break their celibacy vows by sleeping with women or men on the side.
- 38:19Tim was baffled for years by young guys choosing seminary, until realizing they simply don't follow the celibacy rule.
- 38:45Being a priest who fucks anyway is more duplicitous than just not being a priest, since you're forced to be a liar.
- 39:27Discussion shifts to Roy Moore's Alabama Senate campaign and exit poll data.
- 40:08Tim notes it's hard to claim moral high ground electing a candidate accused by multiple underage women.
- 40:45Roy Moore claimed America was better during slavery because people had good values and took care of each other.
- 41:35Roy Moore's spokesman argues a Muslim member of Congress can't swear in because they have to swear on the Bible.
- 42:20John Brennan, CIA director, didn't take his oath on a Bible but on the Constitution, sparking Muslim rumors.
- 42:36Tim speculates Brennan, being devout Catholic, may have refused the Bible because he knew he'd have to do bad stuff.
- 42:56Bigger acts like Amy Schumer do prayer circles before performances, which Tim finds unnecessary and luck-dependent.
Roy MooreJohn BrennanDonald TrumpJake TapperAmy SchumerJohn KiriakouCNN
- 6 min
They play and react to a CNN clip where Roy Moore's spokesman is destroyed by Jake Tapper over false claims that members of Congress must swear on a Christian Bible, with a tangent about John Brennan's oath choice.
9moments
- 43:45Amy came up with comedians living horrible, desperate lives at open mics, but seeing her success causes them whiplash.
- 44:25Entertainment is one of the only businesses where you can watch someone go from nothing to multimillionaire massive star.
- 45:09Tim describes the entertainment business as a fun house where everything is distorted, like taking acid.
- 45:38When comedy specials are taped, bad jokes just get laughter added in post, but Tim didn't redo any of his.
- 46:10Talent matters, but Tim has met very talented people who can't get out of their own way and less talented people with unshakable self-belief who go far.
- 46:51People at the top don't really know what they're doing either, so if you believe in yourself, they might think you figured it out.
- 47:22Tim opens a mystery box sent to the show, worried it might contain something disturbing.
- 47:54The box contains two copies of 'The Most Hated Man in America: Jerry Sandusky and the Rush to Judgment' by Mark Pendergast.
- 48:48The book jacket claims everyone knows Sandusky's story as a serial pedophile, but questions whether that story is actually wrong.
Jerry SanduskyAldous HuxleyAmyLloyd BlankfeinMark PendergastPenn State
- 2 min
Amy Schumer, Show Business Luck, and Broken Comedians
#Tim reflects on comedy success being like a lottery, comparing Amy Schumer's rise to Goldman Sachs executives, and how seeing the industry up close changes how you view fame and talent.
5moments
- 49:16Tim says Pendergrass was a brilliant gift and he wants to buy ten copies immediately.
- 49:26The gift is weird in itself, weirder still if people think it's just a recounting of events rather than a revisionist take.
- 49:39Sandusky the Monster is the title of the first chapter, which Tim questions given that there wasn't a huge moral panic before it all happened.
- 49:53Tim notes the case dragged forever because nobody wanted to believe anything at the time.
- 50:21Tim finds the whole thing hilarious and amazing.
GaS DigitalPendergrassSandusky
- 2 min
Tim runs through subscription info for GaS Digital Network, promo code Hell, and lists his upcoming tour dates before handing off the last segment.
3moments
- 51:19Tim announces tour dates: New Hampshire tomorrow, Portland Maine on the 14th, Tampa January 4-7, Boston 18-20, and Los Angeles shows.
- 51:49Tim jokes about his fear that Shannon will upload him to Facebook with a #MeToo hashtag, then assures he's a gentleman.
- 52:11Alex told a story about a guy who allegedly lured a woman to an apartment, applied meat tenderizer to her skin, then kept a head in his refrigerator when cops raided the place.
- 2 min
The Jerry Sandusky 'Rush to Judgment' Book Gift
#They open a mailed gift live on air: a book claiming Jerry Sandusky was wrongly convicted, and marvel at the audacity of whoever sent it along with a tangent about a meat tenderizer assault story.
7moments
- 52:59Tim asks Shannon about growing up in a Roman Catholic Italian family and whether she attended Catholic school.
- 53:11Shannon's mother was born-again Christian while her father was Catholic, and they let her choose her own path from an early age.
- 53:35Tim notes there wasn't really a community of born-again Christians in Brooklyn where Shannon grew up—it was all Roman Catholic.
- 53:58Shannon felt a little left out when her friends went to CCD after school while she didn't participate in those programs.
- 54:23Tim expresses skepticism about Catholic communion, finding the concept odd even though he doesn't argue with believers about it.
- 54:41Tim explains that Catholics believe the consecrated wafer actually becomes the body of Christ, not metaphorically.
- 54:56Tim argues that if God truly transformed the wafer into Jesus's flesh, there should be visible evidence—hair, teeth, something—not just a cracker that looks and tastes like a cracker.
- 7 min
Tim interviews producer Shannon about her mixed Catholic/born-again family background, then launches into a long riff about how absurd it is that Catholics believe the communion wafer literally becomes the body of Christ, and how Jesus's actual message of helping the poor got lost in Church opulence.
10moments
- 55:23Tim's mom would snatch communion wafers from kids playing with them, treating them as sacred objects.
- 55:59Shannon questioned Catholic doctrine starting in fifth or sixth grade, becoming more aggressive about it in high school.
- 56:25The Church has theological philosophers like St. Thomas Aquinas with elaborate justifications, but it still tastes like a cracker.
- 57:08Taking Jesus literally about "this is my body" when he spoke in parables and metaphors about everything else makes no sense.
- 57:47If the communion wafer is actually Christ's body, why does it feel like nothing resembling actual human flesh?
- 58:30Tim notes that the communion cracker—the one thing that genuinely broke Shannon about Catholicism.
- 59:03Catholics believe the wafer is literally the body of Christ, while Protestants view it as symbolic—this theological divide separates Christian denominations.
- 59:29A nun claimed the resurrection was essential, but Shannon argues Jesus's actual teachings about helping the poor and sick matter more.
- 1:00:35The promise of heaven is used to distract people from actually helping the homeless and suffering on earth.
- 1:01:38Jesus said to give away all your money, but the Church built gold cathedrals with ceilings painted by da Vinci—the complete opposite of his message.
St. Thomas AquinasDa VinciMichelangeloDavid BlaineSt. Augustine
- 1 min
Shannon closes the show, mentions her Vice Sports show Fugazi, and gives out the GaS Digital Studios mailing address for anyone else wanting to send gifts.
2moments
- 1:02:47Tim's plugs and availability: Vice Sports on Facebook, and more episodes filming this week with new team and expanded content.
- 1:03:11Mailing address for fan mail: GAS Digital Studios, care of Tim Dillon's Going to Hell, 151 First Avenue #311, New York, NY 10003.