rant · moment 2 of 19

Growing Up Rich and Irish: Butterball Turkeys and Fresh-Killed Birds

from This Is No Way To Live · #72

Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.

3 min

Tim describes his family's wealthy Long Island Thanksgivings with butterball turkeys, riffs on organic/free-range food culture, and jokes about killing and torturing turkeys for freshness.

In this bit7 moments
  • 3:45A McDonald's worker observed that the saddest customers were those who came in weekly and ordered the same thing with hyper-specific technical details.
  • 4:23Tim argues that ordering anything specific at McDonald's makes you sound like a serial killer.
  • 5:08Sometimes eating McDonald's hits the back of your throat and you realize you've been striking out with the chain.
  • 5:22Tim celebrates whenever McDonald's closes stores and admits he's one of those people who eats there at 2 a.m.
  • 5:41The contradiction: Tim criticizes his friend for going to fast food restaurants, then eats McDonald's on Thanksgiving at 3 p.m. when families should have real meals together.
  • 5:59Timing matters in fast food capitalism — going during busy times means the meat and cheese are cycling through, not sitting stale since 11 p.m.
  • 6:25The McDonald's experience would taste better if you were sitting there with a homeless guy masturbating.

All 19 moments in this episode →