rant · moment 2 of 12
Cruise People Should Be Incinerated
from Floating Buffet (with Ralph Sutton) · #70
Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.
5 minTim launches into a rant about cruise culture, comparing the Impractical Jokers cruise to Ralph's Shiprocked and Motorhead cruises, riffing on obese passengers on motor scooters, smoking in the casino, the 24-hour buffet, slave-labor Filipino crew, and a woman getting a Jagermeister-branded splint after falling down the stairs.
- 2:05Tim says cruise ship passengers should be incinerated, describing them as human garbage.
- 2:30Ralph breaks down his experience across multiple themed cruises, including motorhead and family voyages.
- 2:55Ship Rock ran out of vodka by day two or three, forcing passengers to switch to tequila.
- 3:32Obese passengers on motorized scooters drove directly from the gangway to the all-you-can-eat buffet.
- 3:54Smoking is permitted inside the casino to keep patrons at the tables instead of going outside.
- 4:35Tim observes that cruise passengers spend almost no time outside or near the water they're floating on.
- 4:53Yannis Pappas points out that a cruise is just a floating Atlantic City with no actual purpose to being on a boat.
- 5:15Cruise ship workers are primarily from the Philippines, work nine months a year, and are subject to strict customer interaction restrictions.
- 5:36Staff quarters include a hidden bar where isolated crew members socialize intensely after months at sea.
- 6:04An obese passenger fell down the stairs, received medical treatment, and resumed heavy drinking the next day with an ankle splint.