rant · moment 4 of 12

Cruise Jail, People Falling Overboard, and the Shitting Incident

from Floating Buffet (with Ralph Sutton) · #70

Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.

4 min

Ralph and Tim discuss the ship's brig for misbehaving passengers, people left behind in Mexico, a husband suspected of pushing his wife overboard for insurance money, and a man who defecated all over the hallway near Tim's cabin on the last night.

In this bit10 moments
  • 12:40Shiprock cruise returns every year with fewer people than it started—people get left behind after getting too drunk or trying to smuggle drugs back from Mexico.
  • 13:05There's an actual brig on the boat where passengers who cause trouble get locked up for the entire cruise.
  • 13:29Working in the ship jail is the fallback job for crew members the management doesn't trust with other responsibilities.
  • 14:04Tim doesn't understand why people pay to go on cruises just to be near celebrities like Edie Falco when they could do the same activities on land.
  • 14:56Five days is the ideal cruise length; anything longer and by the final day you're miserable and ready to leave.
  • 15:26Cruise passengers spend the entire time eating, gambling, and watching shows—all things they could do without being on a boat.
  • 15:44Tim worries about the medical facilities on cruises, suspecting the doctors aren't American and may not be legitimate.
  • 16:13Despite his concerns, Tim admits Shiprock is one of his favorite things to do every year.
  • 16:29Last Shiprock, Tim woke up at four in the morning to the smell of shit in the hallway from a passenger who had an accident in his cabin.
  • 16:43Crew members had no idea what to do about the passenger shitting all over the hall and his cabin on the final night.
Mentioned here

ShiprockThe SopranosEdie Falco

All 12 moments in this episode →