rant · moment 8 of 12
Michelle Gets Stuck on the Boat Over Alcohol Charges
from Floating Buffet (with Ralph Sutton) · #70
Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.
6 minTim describes leaving Michelle behind after cutting her off his room charge, only for her Amex to get frozen and her to be detained on the boat over a $700 bar tab, leading to a screaming meltdown and a two-year payment plan.
- 40:03Michelle fake cries about wanting to go home to her children after being stuck on the boat.
- 40:36Tim skips the early group photo because he has a breakfast reservation at Brennan's at 9:15 AM.
- 41:34Tim felt mortified watching cruise ship passengers and concluded America is past peak as a superpower.
- 41:47Seeing people on cruises who are 400 pounds, smoking, and eating strikes Tim as a sign of civilizational decline.
- 42:22He argues people should keep their addictions and compulsions private rather than celebrating them on a boat.
- 42:48Groove Cruise, an EDM cruise, books artists like Kiss One Odez and runs with a full ship of partiers.
- 43:16The cruise hired 20 EDM dancers to stay and party until 5 AM after the original event ended.
- 43:54Tim describes the cruise as an accurate picture of American excess, gambling, and constant activity to avoid self-reflection.
- 44:24The boat functions like Yonkers Raceway casino in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean—eating, smoking, no one goes outside.
- 44:55Hosting Sturgis Rally taught Tim the term "second dinner," where people eat again at nine after dining at six or seven.
- 45:24A joker captain coming on the loudspeaker thrilled the cabin next to him, showing how easily cruise passengers are entertained.
- 45:35Tim says he's a different person and finds the whole cruise concept bewildering.
cruise shipsNew OrleansYonkers RacewaySturgis RallyRoyal CaribbeanGroove CruiseFred Durst