Episode 61 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
A Country of Laws
Sep 10, 2017 · 1:11:17 · 20 segments, 140 moments indexed
- 1 min
Cold Open: The Sober Convention on an Indian Campground
#Tim opens by recapping a sober convention gig held at what he describes as a Native American-owned campground in western Massachusetts, joking about whether it's a burial ground and getting a ride from Bobby Kelly that fell through.
2moments
- 1:06Tim did a sober convention at an Indian campground and worried it might be built on a burial ground.
- 1:22Ray questions whether Tim means the Native Americans' home, clarifying the distinction.
Greenwich Village Comedy Club
- 4 min
Sober in the Sun: Lumberjacks, Wizards, and Recovering Addicts
#Tim describes the 'Sober in the Sun' recovery festival in gory detail — woodsy lumberjack-type addicts recovering from heroin and meth, a guy walking around with a Gandalf-style staff, toddlers camping in the rain, and comparisons to Doomsday preppers and Burning Man but with vaping instead of drugs.
10moments
- 1:47Tim explains he's at a career stage where he says yes to pretty much every gig.
- 2:04A funny Boston comic invited him to perform at a campground event.
- 2:27Tim jokes about the podcast rider requirements: ointments, medicine, a first aid kit, Z-packs, and steroid injections in the bone.
- 3:02Bobby Kelly offered him a ride back but ghosted him, forcing Tim to take the mega bus.
- 3:25Local Boston comics at the campground prove why the city produces so many great comedians.
- 3:38The event is called Sober in the Sun, a recovery community camp for people recovering from drugs and alcohol.
- 4:11The recovering population consists of woodsy lumberjack types from western Massachusetts and surrounding areas.
- 4:42When Tim arrived, the ages at the campground ranged from 2 to 80, with children brought along for camping.
- 5:03It rained horribly all day Saturday; Tim jokes kids probably got pneumonia and compares it to Oregon Trail rules.
- 5:25Tim examines the campers' eyes and suspects they're on suboxone or some kind of supplement.
- 2 min
Doing Anal Jokes in Front of a Kid at the Festival
#Tim talks about performing dark comedy for the recovery crowd, a bit about doing an Instagram joke that would bomb there, and a story about a comic doing an anal joke while an 8-year-old kid in the audience refuses to leave the tent.
4moments
- 6:13At AA meetings, a guy carried a staff like Gandalf from Lord of the Rings as pure affectation.
- 6:48Tim compares the recovery community crowd to doomsday preppers—people who've already seen doomsday and are on their way back from it.
- 7:05Kids at the festival looked clean, but Tim felt for them because they'd grow up tough around these parents and wouldn't be easily offended.
- 7:32Tim arrived an hour before performing and checked out the outdoor main stage before his side stage set.
Dan Saint Germainrecovery community
- 4 min
The Main Stage, the Teen Tent, and Fish Tank Tubing
#Tim describes the multi-stage layout of the festival, the teens sneaking off to hook up in the 'teen tent,' riffs about heroin needles versus fish tank tubing, and a bit about sober people getting into bodybuilding or money instead of drugs.
10moments
- 7:47Tim describes the festival as Burning Man except everyone's vaping instead of doing drugs.
- 8:04Clean people at recovery festivals in the woods with no heroin still look tortured and rough.
- 8:35Camping sober in dirty woods with a pneumonia baby is somehow worse than heroin.
- 9:08Main stage performer sings while the audience looks terrified rather than spiritually moved.
- 9:35Tim notes the audience at recovery festivals doesn't want smart humor—they want dark jokes from the gut.
- 10:14Tim's tent preacher bit worked because it grabbed people emotionally rather than relying on Instagram references.
- 10:32During another comedian's anal joke, an eight-year-old kid stays in the audience while his dad gives up trying to send him away.
- 11:03Tim figures the kid has probably seen worse than a fat gay comedian yelling, so a comedy act won't be what ruins him in therapy.
- 11:28Tim jokes that kids will have real trauma from what their parents do in the bedroom with fishing wire.
- 11:43People in recovery tie off with fish tank tubing instead of proper equipment.
- 2 min
Don White's A Cappella Song and Tough-Looking Ex-Cons Singing About Love
#Tim describes headliner Don White's sentimental a cappella performance and the surreal image of hardened, tattooed ex-cons tearfully singing along about what love is, followed by a friend's comic 'murdering' the crowd before Tim goes on.
7moments
- 12:08Don White was the headliner and looks like a Native American.
- 12:34Tim plays Don White's a cappella song about a girl waiting for her father to come home in his shiny white car.
- 12:59The song is like a big rehab song, and it's just about a girl's life.
- 13:21Don White sings 'I know exactly what love is' in the a cappella piece.
- 13:44The singers have tree-trunk necks, neck tattoos, and look like real soldiers thrown out of backyard wrestling for being too violent.
- 14:03These intimidating men sing 'I know exactly what love is' and 'Love is so simple and true.'
- 14:17Tim jokes that no one needs his comedy at this point after watching the performance, and considers getting a habit for a few years to achieve that happiness.
Don White
- 3 min
Sober Houses as a Business Opportunity
#Tim jokes about wanting to run a strict sober house, describes what sober houses are and how much money they charge, and riffs with Ray about pushing people to get jobs.
7moments
- 14:32Tim recalls getting drunk in a Burger King rest stop bathroom before performing.
- 15:18Jack's been sober three years and is a real program guy, which gives him great material.
- 15:51Getting inspired by watching another comic kill can elevate your own performance.
- 16:17Tim explains the best pickup scene is when people are actively using heroin.
- 16:35His actual pickup strategy targets runaways fresh off the bus who don't know the city yet.
- 16:53Teenagers at the recovery festival looked at Tim on stage, then went back to the teen tent to fuck each other.
- 17:07After drugs and alcohol are gone, hooking up with each other is all the teens have left.
- 2 min
Ray's 'Listen To Me' Bit and the Weigh-In Guessing Game
#Tim riffs on why he imitates Ray's 'listen to me' catchphrase, picturing him accused of disappearing women, then transitions into Ray revealing he weighed himself and the two guess his weight and joke about needing a 'fat man scale.'
6moments
- 17:14Tim questions whether getting clean at 13 really counts as an achievement.
- 17:42Tim explains that when people get sober from drugs and alcohol, they find other outlets like comedy or bodybuilding.
- 18:02He describes a friend who became a bodybuilder after getting sober, then potentially relapsed, but at least has a new body either way.
- 18:31Sober houses are a huge business model in the recovery industry.
- 18:48Tim describes the sober house setup: residents get jobs, live with others in recovery, attend meetings, and owners charge 20 to 30 grand a month.
- 19:01Tim pitches himself as a strong, stern presence in the house.
- 2 min
Getting Fat on the Road and Pumpkin Pie from a Fan's Mom
#Tim describes the physical toll of touring and overeating (double chins, love handles), then recounts a fan named Jack ('Kennedy Face') giving him a pie his mom made, leading into a debate about types of pie.
5moments
- 19:18Tim explains why he imitates Ray by imagining him in a town square surrounded by angry villagers with pitchforks, denying knowledge of disappeared women.
- 20:04Tim weighed himself before arriving and refuses to say the number, playing a guessing game where it's revealed to be around 328 pounds.
- 20:35Bathroom scales at comedy clubs max out at 200-250 pounds, so Tim needs a proper fat man scale from Amazon to get an accurate weight.
- 20:58Tim announces he's going on an extreme diet to change his life, inspired by doing back-to-back comedy shows that have left him exhausted and unhealthy.
- 21:14He performed an hour at City Side, one of the best rooms in the country, the night before doing 30 minutes elsewhere, and the travel schedule is catching up with him.
- 4 min
Boston Pies, Chicken Deluxes, and Communal Picnic Tables
#Extended riff comparing Boston cream pie, coconut cream pie, and chicken deluxe sandwiches, followed by Tim complaining about being forced to sit at a communal picnic table restaurant with strangers after the show.
6moments
- 21:38Tim describes the weird physical plateaus of weight gain, where you suddenly feel qualitatively fatter and can't move your body the same way.
- 22:29Someone named Jack Kennedy Face gave him a homemade pumpkin pie after an event, which Tim didn't ask for and doesn't particularly want.
- 23:07Tim insists on getting a Boston cream pie with a theme instead of something arbitrary, then describes what's actually in a Boston cream pie versus a chocolate cream pie.
- 23:33He used to go to the Olympic Diner with his parents and order chicken deluxe sandwiches with coconut cream pie that came out of a can.
- 24:21Two comics took him to a Boston fish restaurant where you sit at communal picnic tables with strangers, which is apparently the move up there.
- 25:12Tim refuses to sit at picnic tables with people he doesn't know unless it's a natural disaster—he finally spoke up and got a real table during what he implies was his own difficult period.
Olympic DinerHurricane HarveyJack Kennedy FaceLancaster
- 8 min
The Viral Ode to 80s Pizza Hut
#Tim reads a long, unhinged nostalgic essay someone posted about the glory days of Pizza Hut — the decor, the candles, the salad bar, the pitchers of soda, the waitress cutting the first slice — mocking its over-the-top sincerity and comparing it to a criminal's court statement.
11moments
- 26:24Tim reads a viral ode to 1980s Pizza Hut and says if he doesn't change his life, he'll become the person who writes things like this.
- 26:36Tim's childhood Pizza Hut memory: he vomited at the table as a toddler while his parents were at the mall, and they left a tip and walked out.
- 27:05The essay author argues Pizza Hut was once an experience and a destination before being hollowed out, unlike the fast food joint it is now.
- 28:11The author describes his father traveling for work and occasionally taking the family to Pizza Hut as a special treat because it was expensive.
- 29:07Tim interrupts to declare that Pizza Hut was never good, breaking the author's nostalgic spell.
- 29:59The author praises Pizza Hut's dark lighting and high-backed booths, which Tim notes hid visible stains on the carpeted floor.
- 30:32Tim mocks the author's claim that Pizza Hut was a date destination, asking who takes dates to Pizza Hut.
- 31:11Tim compares the essay's tone to a convict's parole board statement or a murderer's defense address.
- 31:59The author gushes about Pizza Hut's salad bar and how he'd eat salad before pizza to seem mature on dates.
- 32:54Tim worries he's written similarly nostalgic, self-serious food essays and wonders when that behavior ends.
- 33:12Ray found the essay on Facebook and reads the final claim that drinks were never-ending because customers bought a full pitcher regardless of their order.
- 4 min
The Pizza Hut Essay's Bizarre Ending and Trump Tie-In
#The Pizza Hut essay reading continues into its bizarre conclusion about creamy Italian dressing and the sandwich sauce mystery, and Tim imagines Trump reading and relating to this kind of nostalgic rant, tying it into anti-immigrant sentiment.
10moments
- 33:30The essay describes Pizza Hut pan pizza being treated like royalty, with waitresses laying down cork mats and ceremonially serving the first slice.
- 34:09Tim questions whether the nostalgic Pizza Hut story is authentic, calling it out as feeling fabricated.
- 34:20The essay abruptly pivots to the author meeting his cheating ex-wife at Pizza Hut and describing baked sandwiches with mysterious sauce.
- 34:45Tim mocks the absurdity of ordering sandwiches at a pizza place and the author's years-long obsession with identifying the sauce.
- 35:13The author screams out 'That's it!' in an office after finally realizing the sandwich sauce was creamy Italian dressing, and Tim jokes about being trapped next to this unstable person.
- 35:27The essay's ending laments Pizza Hut's decline from its golden-age elegance with stained glass lights and cloth napkins to cheap fixtures and paper towels.
- 35:56Tim compares the essay's increasingly dark tone to Kevin Spacey's serial killer notebook from the movie Seven.
- 36:20Tim suggests the author, consumed by nostalgia and bitterness, is becoming dangerous—potentially escalating to harming small animals like raccoons.
- 36:32Tim imagines Trump receiving this letter and becoming convinced Pizza Hut's decline is because Mexicans aren't properly serving the first slice anymore.
- 36:45Tim does a Trump impression blaming Mexican workers for Pizza Hut's loss of ceremonial pizza service and threatening to deport the author's girlfriend.
Pizza HutDonald TrumpKevin SpaceyKaty Beers
- 6 min
Deporting Assimilated Immigrants and the Harvard Med School Outrage
#Tim makes a substantive argument about immigration debate being co-opted by racial resentment, discussing a friend's girlfriend facing deportation and a viral outrage story about a legal immigrant getting into Harvard Medical School.
6moments
- 37:24Tim's position on immigration: he's open to debates about security and economics, but targeting already-assimilated, productive immigrants frames the issue as racial resentment rather than policy.
- 38:40An Instagram post about immigrant statistics—95% working or in school—gets criticized by someone demanding the definition of 'working,' leading to absurd semantic nitpicking.
- 39:43Tim argues against the obsession with 'following the law'—the nation-of-laws rhetoric is code for something darker, rooted in his experience growing up where betrayal was the worst sin.
- 41:12A viral tweet claims a Spanish illegal immigrant took a Harvard Medical School spot from someone else, but Tim counters that rejected applicants still have options and these immigrants worked hard for their achievements.
- 41:55The resentment toward immigrants comes from mediocre people with poor character, never from wealthy or powerful figures like James Baker, who don't publicly attack individual immigrants.
- 42:28This anti-immigrant sentiment is a low-class appeal to the lowest common denominator, and Tim questions what the Republican Party even stands for anymore.
immigrationRepublican PartyHarvard Medical SchoolJames BakerSheldon AdelsonWarren Buffett
- 7 min
Snitch Culture, Law and Order, and the Complexity of Real Issues
#Tim argues that 'nation of laws' rhetoric is selectively applied, riffs on mob-town attitudes toward snitching, and criticizes both sides for oversimplifying complex issues like immigration, Israel, and social security into tribal talking points.
10moments
- 43:04Tim argues that law and order issues are genuinely complex, not a simple banner Trump can wave like transgender military service costing $8 million a year.
- 43:30Speaking up about Israel-Palestine forces you into alliance with antisemitic people, the same trap that occurs with immigration debates.
- 44:11When racist and conspiratorial figures co-opt territory, legitimate inquiries—like CIA involvement or child trafficking among elites—get discredited alongside fake stories like Pizzagate.
- 45:11Human trafficking is a real multi-billion dollar industry; dismissing the entire realm of inquiry as lunatic ravings is equally wrong.
- 45:44Left-wing intellectualism treats anything with a whiff of counter-mainstream reporting or history as cranky conspiracy, which is its own form of religion.
- 46:07People operate in religious belief systems—Judaism, Christianity, liberalism, conservatism, the alt-right—where they accept confirming claims uncritically and reject contradictory ones immediately.
- 47:09Political divisions are deepening because people on both sides genuinely feel their livelihoods are under direct threat; the 24-hour news cycle and social media amplify desperation.
- 48:06Constantly calling Trump a scumbag while trying to persuade his supporters, or critiquing Melania's shoes at a flood, defeats the entire argument.
- 48:34Snark is a relatively new phenomenon where people project moral superiority with humor, filling media jobs they have no business doing.
- 49:13People working in content aren't creative; they're rearranging words and regurgitating formats they see online, taking orders rather than making anything original.
Alex JonessnarkDonald TrumpPizzagateBuzzFeedhuman traffickingIsrael
- 5 min
Snark Culture and Fake Creativity Online
#Tim goes on an extended rant about 'snark' as a hollow, unfunny form of moral posturing, arguing that people who write listicles and social media content aren't actually being creative, just regurgitating.
9moments
- 49:37People think they're giving something unique and important, but they're really just cognitive machines on an assembly line.
- 50:02Gawker published celebrity gossip that served no purpose except to dehumanize people, dressed up as altruism.
- 50:47The idea that everyone needs to dress up their work in altruism enrages Tim and makes people seem fake and disconnected from their actual motives.
- 51:12You can't conflate activism with your job; if you're making fifty or sixty grand, you're not an activist, you're just working.
- 51:38Real activists gave up lucrative careers to use their skills to fight for people, unlike privileged kids at Harvard posting vague political statements on Facebook.
- 52:18The left and the media don't understand that working-class people define themselves by their morals, not their careers.
- 53:20Elites like law professors get mystique from their job title, while someone who sells toilets gets nothing.
- 53:48Working people want to be more than their job because their job isn't great—they want a code and ethics instead.
- 54:11When celebrities like Katy Perry dressed as robots lecture working people, they're not serious and they hurt the cause.
GawkerSaturday Night LiveCharlie RoseGore VidalNoam ChomskyKaty Perry
- 1 min
Gawker's Fake Altruism and the Hulk Hogan Sex Tape
#Tim discusses a Gawker documentary, arguing that Gawker dressed up celebrity gossip and privacy violations (like publishing the Hulk Hogan sex tape) as altruistic journalism when it mostly wasn't.
3moments
- 54:36Tim questions why anyone should care what Diplo thinks about the Syria war.
- 55:09Michael Moore's documentary ambushed Charlton Heston like an episode of Jackass, making him look foolish when he was senile.
- 55:31Tim mocks Michael Moore for having a Broadway show as the height of clueless resistance.
- 4 min
Harvard Activists, Elites, and the Toilet Salesman
#Tim discusses how activism has become conflated with careerism, tells an anecdote about a law professor's social cachet versus a toilet salesman's, and argues that elites don't understand people who define themselves by morals rather than jobs — capping it with a jab at Katy Perry and Diplo as unserious political voices.
9moments
- 55:51Sign up for the tour bus show email list at timdillancomedy.com for November New York Comedy Festival dates
- 56:13Upcoming shows: DC Improv September 15-16, Cleveland in October, Impractical Jokers cruise early November, plus Baltimore, Portland Maine, and New Hampshire dates
- 57:04Tim reflects on sounding like someone fresh out of jail, like a coach who attacked a parent
- 57:42Story about Long Island goons beating up a little league coach in front of kids for not playing their son
- 58:10Tim mocks former coke buddies now posting about immigration being "a country of laws" after they used to do blow at 80 mph on the LIE
- 58:35Tim's going to Cuba for the first week of October and worries he looks like a dissident or CIA patsy
- 59:05Tim pitches a show called Patsy's where James Baker gives him and Ray guns and burgers to frame them for crimes
- 59:32Planning a Halloween episode with people offering to drive them around, considering renting a car instead
- 59:45Today is the anniversary of Johnny Gosh's disappearance
New York Comedy FestivalImpractical JokersDC ImprovHilarity'sJohnny Gosch
- 1 min
Tim runs down upcoming tour dates including the double-decker bus show for the New York Comedy Festival, DC Improv, Cleveland Hilarities, and the Impractical Jokers cruise, and plugs his social media handles.
2moments
- 59:56Tim admits he's out of it and can't remember what he said in a recent interview
- 1:00:12Discussing tour dates for the weekend before Halloween, October 20th to 22nd
- 3 min
Planning the Halloween Episode: Johnny Gosch Road Trip Logistics
#Tim and Ray try to plan a Halloween live episode tracing Johnny Gosch's disappearance, calculating driving distances between Iowa, Omaha, and a bulldozed Colorado ranch, riffing about ending up murdered on an Indian reservation.
6moments
- 1:00:50Tim plans a Halloween episode involving a road trip to Iowa where Johnny Gosch disappeared, then to Omaha.
- 1:01:15The distance from Iowa to Omaha is 178 miles, about a 2 hour and 45 minute drive — the same route the Colonel supposedly took with Gosch.
- 1:02:09The house in Colorado where Gosch was allegedly held is torn down, so they'll have to do 'theater of the mind' instead.
- 1:02:41Tim wants to go from Omaha to Sedona, Colorado — about nine hours and six minutes — to see where the bulldozed ranch used to be.
- 1:02:53The trip ends with all three of them getting murdered on an Indian reservation, staged like the ending of Casino.
- 1:03:31Tim imagines encountering kids in the woods, trying to rescue them, only to have them reject help and return to the 'rape room.'
- 3 min
Tim discusses the Russ Baker episode about Felix Sater's ties to Trump, Bayrock, and Mueller's investigation, framing the show as ahead of the mainstream media on this story, then pivots into touting the podcast's back catalog.
7moments
- 1:04:04Tim listened to Russ Baker's episode about Felix Sater and was amazed at details about the Russia connection.
- 1:04:51Felix Sater's backstory: Russian immigrant, pump-and-dump stock schemer turned FBI informant, later became Trump's personal assistant.
- 1:05:33Sater traveled to Moscow with Ivanka and Donald Jr. looking for opportunities, and Mueller is now questioning him.
- 1:05:50Tim's show covered the Sater financial connection labyrinth months before mainstream media reported it.
- 1:06:01Tim claims the show operates at the cutting edge of information and is the next generation's Charlie Rose.
- 1:06:20He was on a mega bus and reflected that they covered the Sater story better than anyone else.
- 1:06:41Tim pitches the archive as a real benefit to signing up, like owning a collection of National Geographic issues.
Felix SaterDonald TrumpRuss BakerwhoWhatWhyBayrockRobert Mueller
- 4 min
Tim and Ray struggle to remember the exact subscription price while plugging the show's archive (Russ Baker, David Talbot, Nick Bryant, Noreen Gosch, Michelle McPhee episodes), the Legion of Skanks crossover, and close with requests to leave reviews and follow on social media.
10moments
- 1:07:04The podcast serves as a reference tool with 60 hours of content, 52 behind a paywall at $6 a month with promo code hell.
- 1:07:30Jumping into the show now is like watching The Wire from season three on without the backstory.
- 1:07:48Tim, Nick Mullen, and Louis Gomez do a great podcast together that will move to paid archives, along with Legion of Skanks and other shows.
- 1:08:18The archives contain good journalism, including episodes with Russ Baker, David Talbot, and Nick Bryant.
- 1:08:35Tim recommends watching Who Took Johnny and then listening to their episode with the director and Noreen Gosh.
- 1:09:01Some guest episodes are so good and penetrative that Tim thinks they're worth paying for the subscription.
- 1:09:32After discussing the great journalism they produce, Tim struggles to figure out the subscription cost on air.
- 1:10:11Plans are in the works for live podcasts, possibly at a restaurant, and potentially a weekly stand-up show.
- 1:10:39Tim asks listeners to tweet at him if interested in a potential weekly show he might host.
- 1:10:53Final push for followers on Instagram and Twitter at TimJDillon and RayKump, and a reminder to subscribe to the podcast.
Legion of SkanksDavid TalbotLuis GomezNick MullenNoreen GoshRuss BakerNick BryantWho Took Johnny+5 more