rant · moment 15 of 21
Ray's Sketchy Trip to Cuba as a Fake Missionary
from Joel Osteen's Ark · #60
Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.
3 minRay describes his upcoming illegal-tourism trip to Cuba on a cruise, and Tim riffs on Ray posing as a religious missionary devoted to Joseph, complete with lamb sacrifices and getting thrown in a Cuban prison.
- 50:27Tim suggests Ray study a few religious questions before going to Cuba as a fake missionary, starting with the basics.
- 50:39Ray claims he was an altar boy for 60 years and knows his biblical material better than the average Catholic.
- 50:51Ray pitches his missionary goal: focusing on Joseph, Jesus's stepfather, whom he thinks gets overlooked in favor of Christ and Mary.
- 51:12Ray's actual plan: find pregnant women in Cuba and volunteer to raise their children as his thing.
- 51:23Tim imagines Ray being carried around Cuba like Marlon Brando in Island of Doctor Moreau while eating a live lamb.
- 51:59Tim warns that if Ray ends up in a Cuban prison, nobody's coming to rescue him—Team Six won't help.
- 52:12Ray counters that he'd just play dominoes and smoke cigars all day if imprisoned in Cuba.
- 52:26Tim asks Ray whether he'd denigrate the United States if Cuba demanded it as a hostage, doubting they'd show the same courtesy.
- 52:41Tim notes the show has defended ISIS many times and wonders if they have fans in Cuba who can access podcasts there.