Episode 50 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
You Can't Have Everything
Jun 20, 2017 · 1:00:40 · 16 segments, 123 moments indexed
- 2 min
Skankfest Tour Plans and Guest Co-Host Ray Cump
#Tim opens with tour banter about the Ha the Musical show, a crowd work show, and the lineup for Skankfest with Langberg Chrysler, Reggie Watts, and Jim Gaffigan, before introducing Ray Cump as a surprise co-host bit.
5moments
- 0:14Tim announces the show title: Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell.
- 0:48Ray Cump appeared the first night of the tour and is an actual person, not a character.
- 1:02Tim is looking forward to seeing everyone at Skankfest, which drew people who made a pilgrimage to New York City.
- 1:22Tim will do crowd work shows and 'What's Your Fucking Deal' with Big J at Skankfest.
- 1:33Skankfest headliners include Langford, Chrysler, Reggie Watts, and Jim Gaffigan, described as an insane party.
Skank FestJim GaffiganReggie WattsJohnny HaLangberg ChryslerBig J Show
- 2 min
Ray's Teddy Roosevelt Pedophile Joke and Rich Bus Tour Passengers
#Tim recounts Ray's bus tour line about Teddy Roosevelt being a pedophile in front of the Museum of Natural History, and a story about a rich Fifth Avenue family enjoying the tour.
4moments
- 2:20Ray Kump joins as surprise co-host after being a hit on the bus tour.
- 2:38Ray's joke at the Natural History Museum: "Fuck the 13 year old" about Teddy Roosevelt.
- 3:11Tim notes the Teddy Roosevelt pedophile claim came from Ray's gut feeling, with no historical basis.
- 3:22Rich family from Fifth Avenue attended the bus tour and reportedly enjoyed it.
- 5 min
The Nursing Home Abuse Conspiracy Theory
#Tim and Ray riff on nursing homes as a scam, discussing elderly bruising, elder abuse videos, racist old people getting hit by orderlies, and Tim's grandmother's death being preferable to nursing home decline.
10moments
- 3:58A friend suggests Tim do a nursing home exposé like a Geraldo-style investigation.
- 4:15Tim acknowledges the nursing home business is supposedly a huge scam.
- 4:26Old people at the morgue had lots of bruises, raising questions about whether it's abuse or just aging skin.
- 4:52Hidden camera videos show staff actually hitting elderly residents with brooms.
- 5:29Some old people are horribly racist to nursing home staff, calling them slurs and ordering them around.
- 5:56Tim explains that times are changing and elderly patients need to get their act together if they're going to run their mouths.
- 6:29Tim's mother talks to her nurse disrespectfully—so disrespectfully that Tim wouldn't blame the nurse for hitting her back.
- 7:05Tim's grandmother had autonomy her whole life and the idea of her facing abuse in a nursing home would have been horrible.
- 7:49People in the nursing home business don't give a fuck about what happens inside.
- 8:27Society abandons you when you're a kid and when you're old—those are the times we get vulnerable people.
nursing homes
- 7 min
Ray, a former morgue photographer, describes union politics over who cleans bodies, a doctor handing him a severed skeleton head, seasonal decomposition comparisons to rotten apples, and Photoshopping mangled corpses for funeral ID pictures.
11moments
- 8:39Tim wiped asses at the morgue, initially hired as a photographer.
- 9:10Before he arrived, there was a strict divide where photographers didn't do cleaning work.
- 9:36Tim volunteered to clean bodies himself rather than ask others, refusing to be seen as squeamish.
- 10:14He'd offer to wash down bodies when staff were busy with multiple cases at once.
- 11:17Job responsibilities at the morgue weren't clearly delineated between roles.
- 12:02Decomposed bodies come in depending on the season, and summer causes faster decay.
- 12:24Skeletonized remains get brought in after maggots and decomposition leave just bones.
- 12:40A doctor once ripped a skeleton's head off and handed it to him to x-ray instead of moving the whole body.
- 13:17Summer decomp is like mushy rotten apples on the ground, while winter bodies decompose more slowly.
- 14:32Funeral homes pushed back when he digitally fixed up decomposed and mangled bodies for ID photos, since they'd already shown families the improved pictures.
- 15:07Bodies at funerals look disturbing and nothing like the person did in life—heavily made up and drained of all vitality.
Suffolk County Medical Examiner
- 4 min
Sneaking Beignets at an Exclusive Private Creative Club
#Tim describes crashing a members-only four-floor townhouse club with a grifter friend, eating free beignets while creatives work on MacBooks, and fantasizing about infiltrating Bergdorf Goodman and other rich Instagram spaces.
8moments
- 15:51Tim has been attending a private creative club in New York with a wealthy friend who is also a grifter.
- 16:10The club hosts game nights and life drawing sessions with naked models.
- 16:27Tim spends his time at the club eating fresh beignets while creative professionals work at their laptops.
- 16:58The beignets cost eight dollars for four large ones, and Tim eats so many he gets powder all over himself, disgusting the other members.
- 17:21Tim suggests these private clubs are now desperate for members because Instagram has replaced them as the place for wealthy people to connect.
- 17:51Tim proposes bringing his friend to the club and repeatedly stuffing him with beignets to provoke member complaints.
- 18:15Tim wants to infiltrate Bergdorf Goodman and take Instagram pictures pretending to be rich by posing with store objects.
- 18:57The real appeal of private clubs is simply that other people cannot go there.
InstagramBergdorf Goodmanbeignets
- 3 min
Getting Seated by the Wall and the Little Dog Incident
#Tim describes being moved to an inconspicuous table at a restaurant because staff didn't want him seen, then holding a tiny dog and drinking tea at the club while disgusted members watched him.
6moments
- 19:16Tim and Ray were moved to a table against the wall at a restaurant because the staff found them unsuitable for the prominent seating area.
- 20:08Private clubs let you sit all day with a MacBook without being rushed out, unlike restaurants that turn tables constantly and demand you leave after paying.
- 20:55Tim held a friend's tiny dog while drinking tea in a teacup and told it to shut up, then ordered more beignets, prompting disgusted looks from the other patrons.
- 21:30Tim suggests the incident reflects the decline of New York old money, though he imagines John Rockefeller was probably a quiet poor guy who worked with his hands.
- 21:57Modern social media generation treats their greatest life moments as online content, creating relationships and experiences entirely within internet spaces.
- 22:20A photo of Tim with the dog is what people had to witness that day, and it was not the picture of luxury living they wanted to see.
private clubsJohn RockefellerRay KumpGilmore Girls
- 3 min
Internet-Raised People Are Autistic and Empty
#Tim theorizes that people who grew up online lack worldliness and grit, contrasting old-money figures like JP Morgan and the Knickerbocker Club with modern socially awkward creators, before Ray drops in his own vomiting-at-work-event story.
8moments
- 23:20Internet-raised people are all weirdly autistic when you meet them in life — quiet, can't look you in the eye, don't know how to talk to people.
- 23:38They don't value worldliness or the grime of life; they just want clean pictures to post online and quotes from books.
- 23:58Tim describes the cleanness as more existential than physical — these people have never been punched in the face or had rough life experiences.
- 24:16At a work party, someone handed Tim drinks and he ended up vomiting on himself after mixing wine and beer.
- 24:33The problem with the show is that every time they make a good cultural point, one of them tells a story that undermines their credibility completely.
- 24:53Someone gave Tim weed at the party, he blacked out, sat down, and started vomiting on the floor next to him.
- 25:22The vomiting happened outside the building off to the side, and a few people noticed but it wasn't ideal for bringing someone to the club.
- 25:36The cops showed up while Tim was vomiting and made him get up and walk around afterward.
JP MorganMetropolitan ClubKnickerbocker
- 5 min
Ray admits to drinking wine and beer at a Vice work event, vomiting on himself outside, being found by police, and undercutting Tim's point about authenticity and grit with his own embarrassing story.
10moments
- 25:50Ray was sitting down and vomiting a little bit at a work event.
- 26:09Tim asks what kind of work party it was and why Ray chose to get intoxicated on a half day.
- 26:38Ray explains that weed combined with drinking would make him pass out and vomit.
- 27:10It took a half hour before people noticed Ray passed out and covered in vomit outside.
- 27:41Tim was making a point about formative experiences that shape you and shouldn't all be online.
- 28:15Tim pivots to his own story about blowing someone in a pay-by-the-hour motel room with a guy training to be a firefighter.
- 28:42Tim contrasts modern gay dating apps with the Craigslist era when young gay men took serious risks meeting strangers.
- 29:39Tim stayed in the closet until age 25 and came out very late, so he was terrified about people finding out.
- 30:10Tim argues there was magic in the danger and fear of the old Craigslist days that modern dating apps have lost.
- 30:32Whether this nostalgia for risky motel encounters is genuine memory or fetishizing like pulp novels remains unclear.
- 3 min
Craigslist Hookups vs. Modern Gay Dating Apps
#Tim recounts his closeted years meeting strangers off Craigslist for risky hookups in Brooklyn motels, contrasting it with today's app-based, safer gay dating culture for younger people.
10moments
- 30:42Tim describes new online culture as something he doesn't connect to and that scares him.
- 30:59The pile-on culture where people want to rip each other to shreds online exemplifies what bothers him.
- 31:26People making funny points online and chasing likes represent a culture Tim rejects.
- 31:40Twitter is the worst offender because you're just retweeting someone else's opinion as your own.
- 31:56Twitter discourages contemplative, deep thought in favor of instantaneous reactions.
- 32:11Commenting on someone else's post brings everyone down to a level where people are just in the mud together.
- 32:31Comics Tim respects tweet garbage jokes at Trump about Cubans and margaritas, reducing discourse to virtue signaling.
- 32:53Signaling your virtue by proving you're a good person every five seconds with outrage tweets.
- 33:15Many cases people amplify online are legitimate miscarriages of justice, but the scale of engagement feels performative.
- 33:32Social media activism isn't moving the meter in any significant way despite everyone's performative outrage.
TwitterEliza Shlesingersocial media activismonline culture
- 4 min
Twitter Pile-Ons, Virtue Signaling, and What Real Activism Looks Like
#Tim criticizes Twitter dunking culture and virtue signaling, argues real activism means giving up lucrative careers to help people, and complains about identity politics language around allyship and pride.
9moments
- 33:50Real activism means giving up lucrative careers—lawyers, doctors, people with skills—to work on behalf of oppressed people.
- 34:12Tim argues against the paradigm that everything has to be solved immediately; systemic problems require time.
- 35:14There are concrete ways to help—soup kitchens, work with the homeless, charities addressing starvation and climate—but people ignore them.
- 35:30Identity politics has consumed activism so completely that going to help a homeless person gets met with accusations about being cisgender.
- 35:49Articles now tell straight allies they can't attend pride without understanding five specific things, reducing solidarity to a gatekeeping game.
- 36:21Being a feminist or an ally shouldn't be remarkable—it's just the baseline of being a good person.
- 36:49Activism has become a competition in moral one-upmanship where everyone is still problematic and nobody is actually good enough.
- 37:12The first pride was a police riot, which should be remembered when people police who belongs at pride events now.
- 37:33Tim recalls actually showing up to pride with Russ Baker in Asli's chaps and maracas at the morning of the parade.
- 6 min
Pride, Assimilation, and Being Defined by Oppression
#Tim argues pride has become commercialized but represents real progress for gay rights, pushes back on the idea gay identity should be all-consuming, and laments people building identity around labels rather than being interesting as individuals.
10moments
- 38:04Tim argues that Pride parades themselves represent the actual victory—the freedom to have a giant exhibition without real fear of physical harm.
- 38:32He's called a psychopath for suggesting people should want to assimilate and get married rather than maintain a separate queer identity.
- 39:05Tim acknowledges gay culture has cool things but argues that mainstreaming it inevitably dilutes the edge while gaining other benefits.
- 39:41Ostracized groups pushed to society's edges bubble up in certain ways, but gay kids today don't face the same violence and shame as previous generations.
- 40:16By 2017, there's been no better time in history to be gay, and Tim rejects the idea that progress hasn't happened or that oppression should remain the defining identity.
- 40:51The worst part of oppressing people is that they become defined by that oppression, making it their only identity.
- 41:16Your sexual orientation should be incidental, like heterosexuality is—you shouldn't be "a gay guy," just a guy.
- 41:40People feel burdened to be interesting because of social media, but used to earn social capital by reading books or learning about art.
- 42:22Race, religion, sexual orientation, and gender should all be less interesting about you than your actual point of view as a person.
- 42:56Tim thinks social media is deeply unhealthy and heading toward a bad place, with extremes on both left and right taking over.
Paul Benassithe Velvet UndergroundHemingway
- 2 min
Kids Bullying, Paul Bonassi's Facebook, and the Upcoming Social Media Guest
#Tim briefly touches on modern cyberbullying, praises comedian Paul Bonassi's unfiltered Facebook posts, and teases an upcoming guest who gets more views from his basement than CBS gets on network sitcoms.
4moments
- 44:12Tim announces an upcoming social media guest who gets more video views in his basement than CBS pours millions into for sitcoms.
- 44:40The podcast reaches more downloads than the total audience Tim has performed in front of across his entire career.
- 45:04Network digital development executives are disoriented because a kid in a basement reaches more people than their platforms do.
- 45:33The basement creator is making significant money, though not on the scale of traditional TV advertising despite massive engagement numbers.
- 6 min
The Death of Cable TV and the Rise of YouTube Personalities
#Tim and Ray debate whether traditional TV is dying, the shift to Netflix/Hulu/HBO Go streaming models, and how a YouTube gaming personality (Jim Sterling) can outdraw legacy networks without needing to be a stand-up comedian.
10moments
- 46:10TV is in irreversible decline among younger viewers who are throwing out their sets entirely.
- 46:46Cable companies have monopolies and fucked people for years; now people have other options like Netflix and Hulu.
- 47:27Appointment television still exists for live shows like Saturday Night Live and Game of Thrones, but the model is shifting.
- 48:02Networks like FX make great TV but will need to figure out how to exist in a digital world over the next five years.
- 48:38HBO is a cultivated brand, but casual viewers of Two and a Half Men won't seek out those shows on digital platforms.
- 49:04Cable channels outside the top 30 networks have no clear path to profitability in the streaming era.
- 49:22A kid who started a sports podcast in his basement from nothing now sells out live shows at Caroline's without being a stand-up comedian.
- 49:41Tim brings up Jim Sterling, a YouTube video game commentator he watches, as an example of someone succeeding without needing to become something else.
- 50:05People want to force creators into other mediums—books into movies, YouTube guys into live acts—but the content works as is.
- 51:08Tim notes it's interesting that people now buy tickets just because they like someone, whereas he builds his comedy with jokes and earned skills.
HBONetflixJim SterlingThe SopranosThe WireFXMatt LeBlancGame of Thrones+2 more
- 4 min
Empty People Watching Girls Do Their Hair on Instagram
#Tim discusses the strange parasocial appeal of watching ordinary influencers (a girl doing her hair, guys jumping on beds on Vine) outdraw legends like Elton John, framing it as people craving envy and connection rather than talent.
6moments
- 51:55People are empty and watch girls doing their hair on Instagram instead of real entertainment like Elton John concerts.
- 52:54Tim doesn't need to connect with funny people or be their friend—he can just find them entertaining and move on.
- 53:28On Instagram, 10,000 or 20,000 people watch some girl doing her hair, compared to far fewer watching an Elton John concert.
- 53:56People now prefer watching someone just be themselves rather than performed content like jokes or songs, and they want to envy that person.
- 54:32When a girl talks to you on social media without performing, your body biologically feels like she actually likes you and might want you to show up at her house.
- 55:02YouTube and Instagram Live let you see someone's location, which can make viewers think the person wants them to show up and let themselves in as a joke.
- 4 min
The Weird Sexual Undercurrent of Parasocial Internet Fame
#Tim and Ray argue over whether creepy viewers imagine influencers inviting them into their homes, debating the parasocial intimacy of social media versus traditional performance, and whether internet fame counts as a real 'craft.'
10moments
- 55:48The podcast's mission is analyzing the dark side of the American underbelly without advertisers.
- 56:09Tim agrees there's a weirdly sexual component to watching young internet personalities on social media.
- 56:30The parasocial dynamic creates a sense of intimacy—you feel like you're in the room with them, without traditional performance layers.
- 57:10The attraction isn't purely sexual; it's also about feeling you have a friend, a relatable person to hang around.
- 57:49Misconception: internet comics don't work—they put out a lot of content, even if quality varies.
- 58:17The 'craft' for these creators is the amount of access they provide, not necessarily honing a traditional skill.
- 58:45Tim concedes they've monetized it successfully and have huge audiences, but taking an easy road to fame doesn't earn respect.
- 59:02You can't have it all: shortcut to fame and money means you won't necessarily get respect from the establishment.
- 59:20Tim pivots to a story about someone who threw up at a work event and passed out, apparently earning some twisted form of respect.
- 59:41A guy funding a ski trip for chicks and friends because he's successful on social media still doesn't get the same respect as traditional artists.
- 1 min
Tim runs through upcoming tour dates including Denver, Chicago, North Carolina, and Mohegan Sun, plugs his socials, mentions more bus shows in July with Ray, and closes the episode.
2moments
- 59:59Tim announces tour dates including Dead Girl Comedy in North Carolina and Mohegan Sun headlining shows.
- 1:00:13Fans can find all dates on Tim's Twitter and Instagram.