Episode 45 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
The Long Island Way
May 16, 2017 · 1:02:49 · 17 segments, 135 moments indexed
- 2 min
Cold Open: Coke, Weed Blunts, and Wasting Cocaine
#Tim opens by riffing on mixing cocaine and weed as a teenager, mocking friends who wasted coke by smoking it in blunts instead of sniffing it properly.
4moments
- 0:45Tim explains cocaine mixed with weed in a blunt sounds great but is a waste
- 0:56He reflects on the mistakes 13 or 14 year old kids make with drugs
- 1:10What he misses most about drugs is the camaraderie and laughing with friends
- 1:21A wool blunt is defined as wasting cocaine
- 4 min
A Tour of Teenage Drugs: Crack, Angel Dust, Special K, and Shrooms
#Tim and his guest go through a catalog of drugs from his youth—freebase vs crack highs, PCP/Angel Dust and a murder trial where a victim was discredited over it, ecstasy vs Molly, Special K holes, and whether psychedelics offer real enlightenment or just temporary escape before returning to a bagel shop.
10moments
- 1:43Crack high is supposedly only intense until you exhale the smoke—once it leaves your mouth, you start coming down immediately.
- 2:30Tim asks what Angel Dust is and learns it's an upper with hallucinogenic properties that makes people fight cops.
- 2:57During jury duty on a murder trial, the defense tried discrediting the victim by saying she had Angel Dust in her freezer, but nobody even took it.
- 3:15In that New Castle neighborhood, everybody had Angel Dust in their freezer.
- 3:31Tim used to do ecstasy pills with Mitsubishi symbols on them that had different batches, some faster than others.
- 4:06Special K was supposed to be ketamine, a cat or horse tranquilizer, and people would enter a K-hole where they'd sit staring at a Jimi Hendrix poster for an hour.
- 4:39Doing shrooms gives you that moment where you realize everything you believe was just taught to you and could be untaught.
- 5:08Tim has never done hallucinogens or psychedelics but says he's open-minded and will try them eventually.
- 5:21Tim got the same kind of epiphany moment from watching a 9-11 documentary as people claim to get from psychedelics.
- 5:36If psychedelics made Tim lose 70 pounds and start working at a bank, that would be amazing, but he misses drugs and doesn't plan to do them anymore.
- 3 min
Long Island Comedians and Shortcut Jobs
#Tim rants about Long Island comics taking bookkeeping or line-cook jobs at comedy clubs instead of actually getting good on stage, comparing it to working at a gym instead of training for a triathlon.
7moments
- 5:54Tim advises Long Island comedians moving to New York City not to take shortcuts by working at comedy clubs instead of actually performing.
- 6:18Working as a bookkeeper at Dangerfield or a line cook at Caroline's won't lead to becoming a star—proximity to the business isn't the path.
- 6:46Nobody's WTF origin story involves getting discovered while working as assistant manager at a club; those jobs don't create comedians.
- 7:19Long Island kids get these gigs through their mother's friends, which traps them in cushy non-comedy work instead of pursuing the actual craft.
- 7:43The only job worth taking is one with hours that don't conflict with stage time—8 PM to midnight availability is the real requirement.
- 8:07Long Island people are allergic to real work and commuting; they think staying local and working at clubs somehow makes them funny instead of actually doing the work.
- 8:27Tim mocks the logic that being around funny people all day at a comedy club would somehow make you funny without any actual effort on stage.
Long IslandWTFCarolinesDangerfieldthe comic stripJudah Freeland
- 3 min
Long Island Personal Injury Lawsuits and the Home Depot Guy
#Tim mocks Long Island's personal injury lawyer culture (Selino/Barnes), then tells the story of a comic acquaintance who faked/exploited a Home Depot back injury for years to avoid working, despite having a film degree.
10moments
- 8:38White trash couples in Levittown debating whether to hire Selino or Barnes for their Wendy's fall lawsuit
- 9:14Long Island personal injury firms handle all manner of accidents and have a significant client base
- 9:36A comic with a film degree graduated from upstate New York and came back to work at Home Depot pushing carts
- 10:03Home Depot cart-pushing is a job meant for teenagers or newly arrived immigrants, not college graduates
- 10:18The guy injured his back lifting something at Home Depot and sued, with his lawyer instructing him not to work
- 10:36He didn't work for years on disability while waiting for the settlement, claiming he couldn't do anything strenuous
- 10:54Tim questions how the guy could have gotten lost wages if he was on the books at Home Depot or any job
- 11:13The settlement was around fifty to sixty grand—comparable to what he might have made working that time period
- 11:25Getting a job at Home Depot after graduating college is already absurd, but then injuring yourself there is crazy
- 11:36Trying to understand how someone with a film degree graduated college and went to work at Home Depot
Long IslandHome DepotBellmore Wendy's
- 3 min
Tim and his guest discuss a real campaign ad attacking Jewish landlords in Harlem, debating whether it's funny, accurate, or purely anti-Semitic, before pivoting into complaints about people demanding more Trump-Russia content.
6moments
- 11:5426-year-old worker injured at Home Depot sues, claiming his life is ruined from pushing a cart.
- 12:28Tim suggests the defendant's lawyer should have just called the plaintiff Jewish and asked why he was working a physical job with his hands.
- 13:09Tim says the ad takes some liberties but calls it hilarious and great.
- 13:35Tim asks if the ad is anti-Semitic, acknowledges it is, then calls it fun anyway.
- 14:03Tim nearly punched someone who claimed he'd never done anything on Trump and Russia.
- 14:17Tim blames the audience for wanting the same regurgitated Russia-Trump content instead of actual reporting.
- 5 min
Trump-Russia Skepticism and the True Believers of the Deep State
#Tim argues against cartoonish Trump-Russia narratives, discussing impeachment precedent, James Comey's conflicted psychology, and the idea that CIA/FBI figures like John Brennan are true believers rather than cynical operators.
10moments
- 14:34Trump's connections to Russian mob and shady real estate don't prove Russia supports him.
- 15:21Corporate America loves Trump because they'll never face a real opposition candidate again.
- 15:39Trump has done nothing he promised and everything his supporters didn't want—he's become the CFR.
- 16:21Ross Bakery's 8,000-word analysis of Trump-Russia connections was the only one that mattered because it asked bigger questions.
- 16:54People's cartoonish image of Trump is actually hurting their ability to beat him effectively.
- 17:27Congress only impeaches when they hate the guy enough—it's purely political, not about law.
- 18:03Trump told Comey not to investigate Flynn, which raises questions about obstruction.
- 18:41Comey seems genuinely conflicted about the election outcome despite running the FBI's most corrupt operations.
- 19:13Comey releasing the election document appears sincere, like he's some weird religious true believer.
- 19:36These institutional figures don't break character—they're true believers in the American system and think they're architects of history.
Donald TrumpJames ComeyFBIMichael FlynnRoss BakerCouncil on Foreign RelationsNorth KoreaAnn Coulter+7 more
- 2 min
Roger Stone and Alan Dulles as Architects
#Discussion of the Roger Stone documentary 'Get Me Roger Stone' and Alan Dulles/David Talbot's work, framing Stone as architect of modern dirty politics and Dulles as architect of the hidden intelligence world.
5moments
- 19:54People in Fox News green rooms have played their personas so long they've become those characters.
- 20:41Tim wants to have John Brennan, the CIA director and architect of the drone war, on the show.
- 21:00Brennan is a true believer in the righteousness of American power and the CIA's role in the world.
- 21:33If you're running these agencies, you barely have time to question the systemic ramifications of what you're doing.
- 21:57Alan Dulles is explored in the Roger Stone Netflix documentary as an architect of modern intelligence operations.
- 3 min
More speculation on James Comey as a possible true believer, then setting up and reacting to the Kellyanne Conway hot mic clip discussed alongside a Bill Maher-style riff about Trump audiences.
7moments
- 22:30Comey's effectiveness comes from admitting he's a dirt bag instead of defending himself, leaving critics with nowhere to go.
- 22:54Comey is the architect of the surface political world, while figures like Alan Dulles built the shadow world of agencies that shape what news people actually see.
- 23:33The connection between business, the wealthy, and government has become so seamless that starting a war now requires inventing evidence rather than making a real case.
- 24:01Comey seems like an oddly conflicted guy pulled in a million directions between the agencies and an unpredictable figure like Donald Trump.
- 24:21Comey's stated reason for not releasing the Hillary email investigation early—that he didn't want to taint her presidency—seems oddly noble, even if it could be bullshit.
- 24:44Kellyanne Conway's hot mic slip reveals her turning on Trump, though Tim can't remember exactly what she said.
- 25:07Tim performed at Carolines the night before and had a crazy show there.
Donald TrumpJames ComeyAlan DullesKellyanne ConwayDavid TalbotHillary ClintonBill HicksCarolines
- 3 min
They play and dissect the actual Kellyanne Conway hot mic audio, joking about what she really said, then riff on Zbigniew Brzezinski's hardline national security legacy.
10moments
- 25:24Tim's impression of Kellyanne Conway and his casual assessment of her appeal.
- 25:37The hypothetical scenario where Kellyanne goes to jail and then they could potentially date.
- 26:07Tim compares modern political scandals to Watergate, arguing Watergate was relatively minor.
- 26:21Discussion of whether Nixon was framed, citing historian Russ Baker's theory.
- 26:54Tim questions the logic of prosecuting Trump for sharing classified information with Russia.
- 27:28Tim asks what people actually believe they're proposing—that Trump is a Russian agent.
- 27:41Historical comparison: Israeli spy Eli Cohen who rose to Syrian Defense Minister in the 1950s.
- 27:59Tim imagines the absurdity of the Russians orchestrating Trump's rise through reality TV, Miss America pageants, and politics.
- 28:28Belief in Trump as a Russian asset requires discounting the possibility of deep state involvement in actual events like 9/11.
- 28:42Tim describes the implausibility of the scenario: that a crooked New York real estate developer could manipulate his career for 40 years.
Donald TrumpAlex JonesNixonRoger StoneEli CohenRussiaWatergateRuss Baker+2 more
- 4 min
Trump Unleashed PC Culture and the Far-Left/Far-Right Horseshoe
#Tim argues Trump has made people feel free to say anything, segueing into the horseshoe theory that social justice warriors and alt-right extremists actually agree on core ideas like anti-globalism and cultural purity.
9moments
- 29:00Tim dislikes Trump's children and in-laws holding government positions as a deal-breaker resembling authoritarianism.
- 29:18He acknowledges real problems with Trump, including possible Russian collusion and back-channeling before the election.
- 29:52Joy Behar's opener at a Caroline's benefit: accusing Trump of giving classified information to Russia while mocking the wealthy audience's support for him.
- 30:33Tim criticizes the political sphere's simplistic analysis, particularly the treason allegations against Trump.
- 30:59He walks through the logical problem: if Trump is a Russian agent committing treason, where does that relationship end—does he flee to Moscow?
- 31:16Pipeline politics explains the geopolitical stakes between Russia and the U.S. military-industrial establishment.
- 32:13Tim identifies a horseshoe convergence: the far-left social justice warriors and far-right alt-right people almost agree on everything.
- 32:27Both white supremacists and cultural appropriation activists oppose culture borrowing between groups, creating ideological alignment.
- 32:38The only thing preventing their unity is disagreement over transgender people and bathroom access, according to Tim.
Donald TrumpIvanka TrumpJared KushnerJoy BeharPaul ManafortRussiaCarolinesThe View+2 more
- 2 min
Keynesians vs Friedman: Both Sides Run the Table
#Tim expands the horseshoe theory to economics, arguing Keynesians and Milton Friedman-style free marketeers are functionally doing the same manipulation, and that American political debate is theater with no real stakes for the elite.
4moments
- 33:13Keynesians and Milton Friedman, the famous free market economist, are basically the same fucking bullshit—both just pump money into the economy for different reasons.
- 33:37Tim argues Democrats and Republicans, along with competing economic ideas, are two sides of the same table—everyone's running both sides so they win either way.
- 33:52There's no real argument between small-government and big-government theorists because nobody actually wants small government; it's all manufactured political theater about tax rates.
- 34:07Political discourse is over—the era of reason has ended, as shown by how cartoonish modern politics has become, and yet Trump actually became president.
Donald TrumpBillionsMilton FriedmanAdolf HitlerMurray RothbardMussoliniStalinKellyanne Conway
- 7 min
They play the full 'Jewish landlords own 80% of Harlem' campaign ad from Thomas Lopez-Cepero, then debate whether a black/Latino candidate gets away with such rhetoric more easily than others.
10moments
- 34:28Tim asks about the dead woman found in Joe Scarborough's congressional office.
- 34:44Zbigniew Brzezinski as Carter's national security advisor who was aggressive on Soviet policy, not weak.
- 35:32Kellyanne Conway mic slip where she says something that sounds like a racial comment about a cameraman.
- 37:08Tim wants to find the anti-semitic campaign ad because he likes when political ads are just guys talking in a bar.
- 37:24Trump's effect on PC culture: people now say offensive things like "the Jews own all the Harlem, they kicked out the blacks and Hispanics."
- 38:20Tim gets an anti-semitic ad sent to him and expresses disgust at dumb people.
- 38:33Tufts is where burnouts from scion families go when elite schools don't want them.
- 39:56Thomas Lopez-Cepero campaign ad plays: he claims Jewish landlords own 80% of real estate in Upper Manhattan and are ethnically cleansing Black and Latino people.
- 40:37The ad escalates to Lopez calling landlords "greedy Jews" and saying he won't take money from them.
- 41:01Lopez claims Mark Levine took over a hundred thousand dollars from Jewish landlords while he takes nothing.
Zbigniew BrzezinskiMark LevineThomas Lopez-GuerraJimmy CarterHenry KissingerJoe ScarboroughMika Brzezinski
- 4 min
Jewish Landlords, Rothschilds, and the Alt-Right's Divided Loyalty Argument
#Tim unpacks stereotypes about Jewish success with money, the historical origin of Jewish moneylending under Catholic Church usury laws, and lays out (without fully endorsing) the alt-right argument about Jewish 'divided loyalty' to Israel.
7moments
- 41:41Tim states he's neither a Jewish landlord nor Black or Latino, yet lives in a society that forces him to have an opinion on the topic.
- 42:15Jewish people are smarter than you with money—get over it and win another way.
- 42:36Irish people aren't good with money and will spend any cash that hits their pocket immediately.
- 43:34The Rothschilds controlled the financial system, not the average Jewish person—they happen to be Jewish but didn't enrich most Jews.
- 44:33The stereotype of Jews as money changers originated in medieval history when the Catholic Church prohibited Christians from charging interest.
- 44:50Alt-right ideology claims Jewish people have divided loyalty between Israel and America, making them inherently globalist and a threat to American interests.
- 45:25Tim acknowledges the average Jewish person probably cares more about other Jews than the rest of the country, but every ethnic and religious group does the same.
The RothschildsIsraelAl SharptonJesse Jackson
- 5 min
Israel, Palestine, Hummus, and Female Genital Mutilation
#A sprawling riff on Israeli settlements, a story about Saudi fans telling Tim they only kill people who yell, complaints about hummus and Middle Eastern food, then a tangent into female genital mutilation and why hands get chopped off more than feet.
10moments
- 45:45Tim says Israelis aren't great at PR as a people, despite his PR team being all Jewish.
- 46:19The settlements aren't about projecting strength—they're about saying 'we're gonna blow them up.'
- 46:50Tim questions whether the idea of Israel being America's only Middle East ally seems manufactured given the context.
- 47:20Tim's opening move with Palestinians at the table: 'Your food sucks. Your hummus, your flatbread, it's shit.'
- 47:41His workplace gives him free hummus that makes him very gassy.
- 48:02There's a lot of anti-Semitism on college campuses saying Israel is the source of all the world's problems.
- 48:14The Holocaust is terrible and justifies being defensive, but Israel is not the benevolent victim in every situation.
- 48:34Saudi Arabia does horrible things but receives less anger than Israel despite killing people who yell.
- 49:20Discussion of female genital mutilation in parts of Africa, which the speaker opposes.
- 50:25You can't get mad at Israel alone when these human rights abuses exist elsewhere, but settlements must stop.
female genital mutilationIsraelSaudi ArabiaPalestinians
- 5 min
Deep State Nihilism: Why Knowing the Truth Doesn't Matter
#Tim reflects on how the show's guests and conspiracies have left him believing that knowledge of how the world really works brings no personal or professional benefit, comparing public hypocrisy around Fyre Festival and the Met Gala.
10moments
- 50:52Knowing what the show has figured out inhibits both personal and professional lives.
- 51:30Every author who's reported on deep state topics looks like they've been through hell.
- 51:55Romanticizing documentarians who sacrificed money and success sounds good until you realize the daily horror of that choice.
- 52:24No one gives a shit—people outraged about Fire Island's excess praise outfits at the Met Gala the next day.
- 52:47Humanity is a deeply unserious life form.
- 53:30People were more engaged with facts and skeptical of journalism at the turn of the 20th century.
- 53:50Society has turned everything into a federal and global problem over the past 100 years instead of local and regional.
- 54:21Centralization has made people less connected and less engaged with each other.
- 54:48Tim wonders why severing a hand is always the chosen punishment instead of a foot.
- 55:29Losing a foot would actually be worse than losing a hand for most daily activities.
- 5 min
Tim discusses the Seth Rich murder conspiracy and DNC email leak allegations, framing the US government as history's biggest cartel that eliminates anyone who threatens its money, and touches briefly on 9/11 truther frustration.
10moments
- 57:03Tim argues that fucking with the US government is like fucking with a cartel—the biggest cartel in human history—so expecting to leak documents and get away with it is naive.
- 57:26Seth Rich was murdered in a DC suburb during the election after allegedly leaking DNC emails to WikiLeaks.
- 57:47Large multinational conspiracies control everything, but sometimes people get killed for simpler reasons—blackmail, tax evasion, career concerns.
- 58:15WikiLeaks won't confirm Seth Rich's identity as a source because confirming it would discourage future leakers.
- 58:47Tim believes Seth Rich was probably murdered and dismisses the idea that anyone will ever find out the truth in a criminal state.
- 59:03The US government built planes into buildings on 9/11 in broad daylight and got away with it, so finding out what happened to Seth Rich is pointless.
- 59:24Tim lists three positions: he's against amputation, pro-Seth Rich's murder investigation, and he hates rats.
- 59:48Tim pitches the podcast as the only place getting nuanced discussions, claiming Joe Rogan and NPR are full of shit.
- 1:00:09NPR is a front that doesn't discuss literal circumcision as much as this show does in a single episode.
- 1:00:22The podcast has no financial benefit, and probably never will.
Seth RichJoe Rogan ExperienceWikiLeaksNPRFox NewsJohn Brennan
- 2 min
Tim closes with a recap of his stances (anti-mutilation, pro-Seth-Rich-justice, anti-rat), promotes the upcoming live tour bus show past rich people's homes, lists stand-up tour dates, and signs off.
6moments
- 1:00:29Tim argues they might monetize their disinfo status by pitching themselves to powerful institutions.
- 1:00:52Tour bus show will pass the Knickerbocker Club, where Alan Dulles met with coup experts two weeks before JFK's assassination.
- 1:01:21Tim describes the upcoming tour guide show: live on a bus, an hour and a half, focused on wealthy people and where they live.
- 1:01:46Stand-up dates announced: Poughkeepsie, Rhode Island, Denver, and Chicago.
- 1:02:00Follow Tim on Instagram and Twitter; Guinea Pig project coming soon.
- 1:02:24Tim does mostly bar shows now but is getting back in the mix.
Alan DullesKnickerbocker ClubKennedy