rant · moment 3 of 11
Chili Rellenos Challenge, Fat People's Menus, and the Alamo
from Farting Down The River · #44
Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.
5 minHe riffs on his own supposed chili relleno skill and a fantasy cooking battle, mocks absurd modern menu items like salted caramel banana cream pancakes, and mocks the Alamo tourist experience including the moved location and Riverwalk buffet culture.
- 6:00Tim argues that if regional food was truly amazing, New York's trillion-dollar economy would have replicated it already.
- 6:45Uber drivers pretending barbecue terminology matters while failing at their actual job.
- 7:52Tim proposes a live competition where his homemade chili rellenos challenge Mexican restaurants, but predicts no one will show up.
- 8:42The end of the American empire manifests as rampant commercialism and corporate chain restaurants with absurd menu items.
- 9:01Salted caramel banana cream pancakes exemplify how chain restaurant menus no longer make culinary sense.
- 9:30Fat people don't care about flavor profiles—they want more cheese, more whipped cream, and maximum portion size.
- 9:53San Diego survives entirely on massive portions: three-pound cinnamon buns, chicken fried steaks the size of a head, burritos like luggage.
- 10:14Fat people eat massive meals, smoke cigarettes, then take boat tours where guides point out a Hyatt from 1991.
True DetectiveBobby KellyDenny'sSalt LakeStarbucksSan DiegoTwo Brothers BarbecueSan AntonioHyatt