Episode 41 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Twinks in a Cage
Apr 18, 2017 · 1:00:24 · 16 segments, 115 moments indexed
- 2 min
Casting Hoot to Johnny the Musical: No Open Auditions
#Tim opens with a bit about being unable to discuss casting a satirical Hoot to Johnny (Franklin Scandal/Sandusky-themed) musical in public without seeming like an actual pedophile, riffing on how business gets done by offer only.
4moments
- 0:32Tim expresses concern about how people will react if he and the guest casually discuss casting for Johnny the Musical in public.
- 0:53Shouting about needing a pedophile for a show on a crowded subway would make other passengers think they're both criminals.
- 1:25A comedian approached Tim offering to play a pedophile for the production, causing visible disgust from nearby subway riders.
- 1:55Tim announces they're not doing open auditions for Hoot to Johnny the Musical—only offer-based casting.
- 3 min
Twinks in Cages: Casting the Satanic Pedophile Roles
#Tim and Ray riff on casting requirements for the musical — hairless, in-shape comics playing caged boys, a female pedophile for diversity, and whether the show can even be criticized since it's too offensive to write a think piece about.
6moments
- 2:33Tim argues that most people with IMDB pages are garbage and shouldn't be auditioned for the project.
- 2:57The co-host questions whether Tim understands the implications of who gets selected for the cage.
- 3:37Casting requirements: good-looking, in-shape, hairless young male comics and actors to be placed in cages while Tim plays a character.
- 3:58For diversity, one of the satanic pedophiles will be a woman to avoid mansplaining satanic pedophilia.
- 4:24Tim argues that one remaining space where white men can authentically occupy this society is as pedophiles who sacrifice children.
- 4:35The play will be so offensive that think pieces about it are impossible to write.
Cats
- 2 min
Backdrop Volunteers and Bulge Auditions
#Continuing the musical bit, Tim asks for volunteer artists to help with set backdrops, jokes about evaluating actors for physical 'gifts,' and insists people either want to be in show business or not.
4moments
- 5:01Tim seeks backdrop artists in the New York area who understand set design, not volunteers who will create more work.
- 5:36Casting younger comedians as inmates is necessary for the visual gag, even if they technically qualify as twinks.
- 6:42Tim argues that having a prominent bulge doesn't hurt an actor's chances for the show, though it's not a requirement.
- 7:06Auditions may include physical evaluations for the bulge criterion.
- 2 min
Casting Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and Checking Who's Still Alive
#A tangent naming who'd play the Boston Marathon bombers in the hypothetical follow-up musical, leading into fact-checking whether Tsarnaev, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, and others are alive or dead.
6moments
- 7:36Tim pitches Boston Marathon as a musical.
- 7:58Tim describes Tsarnaev as fascinating and interesting, clarifying he's not pro-terrorism.
- 8:24Checking in on which terrorists are still alive: Tsarnaev has been sentenced to death but execution will take years.
- 8:39Tim runs through the status of other terror figures—Khalid Sheikh Muhammad still around, uncertain about others.
- 8:58Details of the Tsarnaev brothers shooting each other multiple times during their capture in Boston.
- 9:09Khalid Sheikh Muhammad confirmed still alive.
Dzhokhar TsarnaevKhalid Sheikh MuhammadTsarnaev brothersBoston Marathon
- 7 min
The Ivy League Writers Room and the Boston Marathon Conspiracy
#Tim tells a long story about being at a party with Harvard/Yale-educated TV writers who recoiled when he raised journalist Michelle McPhee's book 'Maximum Harm,' which argues Tamerlan Tsarnaev was an FBI informant promised citizenship, tying in Russ Baker, a Chechen CIA-linked uncle, and a Waltham triple murder.
10moments
- 9:18Tim meets Ivy League writers in Manhattan who went to Yale and Harvard but are incurious about anything outside mainstream consensus.
- 9:56He brings up a new book about the Boston Marathon at the party and watches Harvard grads dismiss it for being outside the mainstream.
- 10:28Tim contrasts the scene: Ivy Leaguers in a Tribeca townhouse versus him and Ray sweating in an East Village apartment with Russ Baker, exiled from mainstream discourse.
- 11:10These Yale writers love discussing political theory and the alt-right but check out entirely when the conversation shifts to how government machinery actually works.
- 11:49Michelle McPhee, an ABC News reporter who punched a cop in Boston, wrote a book claiming the Marathon bombers were FBI informants promised citizenship.
- 12:26Tim and Ray have argued the same point: Russia warned the feds about the bombers, yet the FBI claimed they didn't know who they were before catching them in a boat.
- 13:27The older bomber's uncle married into a CIA family, which prompts Tim to lay out the intrigue at the party while watching the room's faces contort in real time.
- 14:38McPhee's book contends the FBI turned Tamerlan Tsarnaev and promised him citizenship; when they don't follow through, he snaps and bombs the Marathon.
- 15:36Tsarnaev was likely involved in a triple murder in Waltham, Massachusetts in 2011, but the feds didn't question him because he was too valuable as an informant.
- 16:28Ibrahim Todashev, who the FBI killed during questioning, is another layer in the story that's too controversial to mention at parties of Ivy League kids.
Russ BakerBoston Marathon bombingFBIMichelle McPheeIbragim TodashevTamerlan TsarnaevCIAmaximum harm+2 more
- 2 min
Ibragim Todashvili and the FBI Interrogation Room Shooting
#Tim digs into the killing of Ibragim Todashvili by FBI agents during questioning, mocking the official story that an unarmed, un-patted-down man attacked three armed agents with a stick, and framing it as evidence he was silenced.
6moments
- 16:56Why are they interrogating this guy in a hotel room instead of a proper facility?
- 17:18Tim contrasts trained FBI agents with undertrained cops in shootings of unarmed Black men.
- 17:46How does one fucking gun get drawn in a hotel interrogation?
- 18:17Official story: the suspect allegedly attacked an agent with a pipe or stick while writing a statement.
- 18:51Tim notes he's been patted down by state troopers for expired licenses, but not by FBI agents interrogating a murder suspect.
- 19:02The suspect was shot dead by the feds over an alleged pipe attack during a voluntary statement.
Suffolk PoliceFBIDana Ibrahim
- 5 min
Getting Dismissed as 'Just a Comedian' at the Party
#Tim continues the party story, describing how his Ivy League friends laughed off his Boston Marathon points and called him 'just a comedian,' and he contrasts his show's willingness to go there with mainstream podcasts and other comedy shows.
10moments
- 19:39Tim brings up a theory about a murder case at a party and gets laughed at by wealthy guys who dismiss him.
- 19:57One of the wealthy men messaged Tim afterward saying he likes the podcast but seemed uncomfortable at the party.
- 20:28The finance guy dismissed Tim's claims by saying "Tim's a comedian, right" in front of his friends.
- 20:40Tim argues it doesn't matter what school someone attended—they should be able to read evidence about something weird and acknowledge it.
- 21:07Most people accept the CIA and Russians were involved in the Kennedy assassination, but fewer are comfortable discussing 9-11 this way.
- 21:23The Boston Marathon bombing sounds suspicious at face value—inept execution by two kids in the middle of a major city.
- 21:59Tim points out there was a Saudi national living with the bombers who hasn't been heard from and is mentioned in journalist Neda McPhee's book Maximum Harm.
- 22:48Someone compared Tim's podcast to Moshe Cashier's new show "Problematic," but Tim says his show is fundamentally different.
- 23:07Tim says there are very few podcasts like his one because of corporate structure, advertisers, and profitability concerns.
- 23:28Network television shows will never make you think the way episodes of this podcast can, because they discuss different topics.
Moshe KasherBoston Marathon bombingKennedy assassination
- 3 min
Alex Jones's Custody Battle and the 'Just an Entertainer' Defense
#Tim discusses Alex Jones's lawyer arguing in a custody case that Jones is just a performer, and debates whether that undercuts his credibility on serious topics like Sandy Hook, plus a detour on a Bill O'Reilly harassment allegation involving a black correspondent nicknamed 'hot chocolate.'
7moments
- 23:45Alex Jones's custody battle and his lawyer's defense that he's just an entertainer.
- 24:11Tim on the irony of Jones admitting he's a carnival barker while making serious claims about Sandy Hook and 9/11.
- 24:39Everyone in media is an entertainer—Rachel Maddow, news anchors, all of them.
- 25:05Sympathy for Jones being hit while he's down in a custody fight.
- 25:21The logical problem: if Jones is carnival barking, he's doing it about subjects like dead children that deserve seriousness.
- 25:58Jones probably wants his kids badly enough that admitting he's an entertainer damages his business but wins custody.
- 26:14Bill O'Reilly's fresh allegations involving a correspondent he called hot chocolate.
Alex JonesBill O'ReillySandy HookCharles KrauthammerRachel MaddowStacey Dash
- 5 min
Roger Ailes's Fall and the Death of Fox's Populist Model
#Tim and Ray discuss Roger Ailes getting pushed out of Fox, joke about O'Reilly's on-air comeuppance, and analyze how alt-media figures like Alex Jones, Mike Cernovich, and Gavin McInnes are outpacing traditional cable news figures in influence.
10moments
- 26:49Bill O'Reilly as the archetypal Long Island newsman.
- 27:16There used to be a semblance of objectivity in news delivery, even if journalists were dictating for people in power.
- 27:45Bill O'Reilly and his ilk are polemicists staking claim on territory, not neutral reporters.
- 28:21Tim on Roger Ailes being thrown out of Fox News.
- 28:36Roger Ailes sexually assaulted Tim, though Tim attacked him first.
- 29:12Bill O'Reilly's farewell broadcast reader mail could include references to past harassment allegations.
- 29:49Sponsor pullouts from O'Reilly were driven by outrage, which directly hurt Fox News's ad revenue.
- 30:15The folksy populist traditionalist angle that O'Reilly embodied has run its course.
- 30:51Conspiracy-tinged aggressive figures like Alex Jones became more impactful than establishment populists like O'Reilly.
- 31:42The Trump presidency delivered results but created long-term strategic problems for conservative media.
Bill O'ReillyRoger AilesAlex JonesDonald TrumpFox NewsInfowars
- 8 min
The Restaurant Salad Insult and Brand Ambassador Grievance
#Tim rants about a family-connected restaurant sending him a cheap side salad instead of real comped food despite him promoting the place constantly on Instagram, spiraling into a bit about being an unappreciated 'brand ambassador' with too few followers.
11moments
- 33:36Tim gets angry at a restaurant for sending over a plate of lettuce disguised as a salad.
- 34:04He calls out the chef as out of shape and criticizes the move as embarrassingly cheap.
- 34:42Tim argues he's a team player and should count as a brand ambassador despite only having four thousand Instagram followers.
- 35:10He mentions appearing on shows like Bennington and podcasts with 200,000 downloads where he promotes restaurants.
- 35:49The guest confirms witnessing situations where restaurants realize who Tim is and treat him differently.
- 36:37Tim says even he's shocked at how poorly they're being treated, regardless of his family connection.
- 37:27He brings up the chef calling him their best Instagrammer while they send him a sad salad in return.
- 37:51The guest confirms it's a shitty move no matter the circumstances, not justified by any arrangement.
- 38:46Mushrooms arrived with the main course that Tim describes as dry, gross, and wilted.
- 39:35Tim concludes he's a brand ambassador without the follower numbers to back it up, asking listeners to follow him on Instagram.
- 39:51He notes there are 8,000 people listening to the show at any given time.
Glenn BeckAlex JonesBenningtonGavinJudge Napolitano
- 3 min
Why People Eat Salad and the Ahmed Chalabi Tangent
#Tim muses on why healthy young people enjoy eating salads and can be happy, contrasting it with his own obsession with dark conspiracies, then wonders aloud about the fate of Ahmed Chalabi and the show's imagined cachet with the State Department.
6moments
- 40:42Tim refuses to accept a salad when trying to build his brand, demanding something hot instead.
- 41:19Sweet Green salads cost nineteen dollars and require forty-five minutes of chewing because they're chopped up so much.
- 41:53Observing skinny 23-year-olds eating salad for lunch during healthy phases makes Tim question why people actually like salad.
- 42:08People genuinely enjoy the salad experience itself, not just the health benefit—it's insane to watch.
- 42:21At parties, people eating salad are happy, in love, getting married and having kids, but Tim can't relate because he's thinking about Toto Coelo dying in a hotel room.
- 42:35Nobody wants to talk to Tim because he keeps telling the truth about the Toto Coelo situation.
Toto
- 3 min
The Car Dealership Employee Suspended for Playing the Podcast
#Tim reads an actual write-up describing a car dealership employee who was disciplined for leaving the podcast (the 'Little Anna Amy' episode) blasting through the office for 40 minutes, exposing customers to sexual content about children.
5moments
- 43:08Tim wonders if the podcast will eventually get big with the State Department.
- 43:43A car dealership employee in Georgia left the show playing on his computer without headphones and got caught by a customer.
- 44:00Tim describes the episode that was blaring through the office: a bit where he pretends to be a girl saying she wants to fuck Uncle Ray.
- 44:24The dealership suspended the employee and put him on lot duty after a customer complaint about sickening and vulgar language involving drug use and children in sexual situations.
- 45:33Tim notes that talk radio personalities who got in trouble used to claim they only discussed the controversial topic for five minutes out of a four-hour show.
Akhmet ShalhaviState DepartmentJohn Malkovich
- 5 min
Little Anna Amy Returns: Micro-Penises and Uncle Ray
#The recurring 'Little Anna Amy' bit resumes with Tim doing the character's voice, riffing on wanting to have sex with Uncle Ray, sucking multiple micro-penises, and other escalating filth.
8moments
- 46:55Anna claims to like micro-penises and says she once put five of them in her mouth.
- 47:26Tim notes it would be very hard to suck five penises at once, even if they were tiny.
- 47:54Tim compares the show to a Willy Wonka ride that never ends and has no factory or treats.
- 48:34Discussion of William Frick, Henry Clay Frick, and whether he was Andrew Carnegie's enforcer.
- 49:08Tim explains Slugworth was Wonka's right-hand man who turned on him or worked for a competing factory.
- 49:38Anna decides she doesn't want to fuck Ray anymore because he has no stamina.
- 50:03Tim compares Wonka's Slugworth trying to recruit kids to steal recipes to FBI informant recruitment tactics.
- 50:26Slugworth was testing whether the kid could be compromised as a potential double agent for Wonka.
Luis GomezWilliam Frick
- 3 min
The Willy Wonka Slugworth/Frick Tangent
#A rambling detour comparing the show to the Willy Wonka ride, trying to remember who Slugworth was and confusing him with industrialist Henry Clay Frick, then linking Slugworth's espionage plot to FBI informant recruitment and 9/11 hijacker theories.
9moments
- 50:55Tim suggests Muhammad Ali flew planes into the towers, then pivots to joking about people claiming dead celebrities were still alive.
- 51:28He riffs on the idea of just giving them 19 people to work with, like a simple solution to a security problem.
- 51:54The musical will be about an hour long but also 15 minutes long—a contradiction he doesn't resolve.
- 52:16Tim warns against sending unsolicited audition tapes of people singing 'A Whole New World' in their rooms.
- 52:30Asking anyone with printing connections to provide free programs for the show.
- 52:42Raiseman has asked three times about programs; Tim points out it's just a record of what they've done.
- 52:54They have one guy doing music but he might not be able to handle backing tracks.
- 53:17Tim said 15 people were needed for the band, then corrects someone who heard six, listing drums, piano, guitar, and 'something else.'
- 53:52Tim quotes Kennedy's 'Ask not what your country can do for you,' then pivots to joking about seeing possibilities and calling himself a pragmatist.
Creek and the CaveWho Took Johnny the MusicalLong Island City
- 5 min
Musical Logistics: Orchestra, Curtains, and a Fly Rig
#Back to Hoot to Johnny the Musical, Tim and Ray discuss needing a live band, printed programs, a proper stage curtain/fly rig, and announce three-day June performance dates at the Creek and the Cave in Long Island City.
10moments
- 54:12Tim pitches dancing girls with tassels for the musical, but gets told it's not that kind of show.
- 54:39The ensemble will feature both men and women in the chorus for diversity.
- 55:03Tim warns his co-host not to tell people they haven't started working on the project yet.
- 55:25Tim promises the musical will be a beautiful, unique experience if they count every penny.
- 55:42They discuss needing a curtain or screen that goes up and down like on Broadway.
- 56:00A fly rig to lower a screen would require significant money and ceiling space they don't have.
- 56:28Tim suggests maybe they should just rent a bigger theater like the Palace.
- 56:40Tim announces seven shows in San Antonio, Texas from May 3rd through May 7th at the Riverwalk improv.
- 58:08Tim compares his co-host's endorsement of the comedy shows to a car salesman pitching a vehicle with a dead dog in it.
- 58:48Tim reveals plans for bus tours around New York City where he screams, happening mid to late May.
San Antonio improvSan Antonio, TexasLatin KingsFranklin scandal
- 1 min
Tim runs down upcoming live dates including a San Antonio Improv run (joking about the venue's ties to the Latin Kings comedy legacy), teases a New York bus tour, plugs Tim Dillon Comedy dot com, and closes the show.
3moments
- 59:35Upcoming guests include Yannis Pappas, one of Tim's favorite people in New York comedy.
- 59:47Tim tells people to vote, then immediately contradicts himself and says never vote.
- 59:57If you see Tim on the street, discuss Hoot to Johnny the Musical quietly or you'll both get jumped.