Episode 40 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
A Nuanced Man
Apr 11, 2017 · 1:05:13 · 18 segments, 138 moments indexed
- 1 min
GaS Digital Network branding intro and applause into Tim's opening greeting.
1moment
- 0:12Show title: Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell
- 1 min
Tim and Ray banter about subscribing to GaS Digital for archives, joke about making a 'skank playlist,' and plug the network's other shows.
2moments
- 0:49Tim plugs Gas Digital subscriptions and archive access before discussing nuclear war with North Korea.
- 1:28Tim mentions other shows on the network, including one hosted by Chris from Brooklyn or the Bronx.
GaS DigitalJohnny PepperChris from Brooklyn or Bronx
- 3 min
North Korea's Limp Dick Rockets and Trump's Twitter
#Tim mocks North Korea's failed missile tests, riffs on Trump's erratic tweeting during rising tensions, and pivots into China's humanitarian aid near North Korea's border and the broader nuclear standoff.
7moments
- 1:42North Korea's rockets are so ineffective they land in their own ocean.
- 2:03Tim argues Trump shouldn't be allowed on Twitter because his tweets are dangerous during a nuclear standoff.
- 2:36China sent troops to North Korea's border with humanitarian supplies in case the US launches a preemptive strike.
- 2:59China keeps North Korea around as a nuclear deterrent against Japan and South Korea.
- 3:33The North Korea situation has escalated to contingency plans for regime change and deeper US involvement.
- 3:51Criticism of Trump's Syria strike came from the right and alt-right, not the left, over chemical weapons concerns.
- 4:14Trump's military intervention in Syria contradicts his base's anti-empire conservatism.
Donald TrumpChinaNorth KoreaAnn CoulterJapanSouth KoreaBarack Obama
- 7 min
Syria Gas Attack, Assad's Timing, and the Neocon-Left Overlap
#Extended debate with Ray about why Assad would gas civilians right before peace talks, whether the strike was rational strategy versus false flag suspicion, and how war hawkishness spans both neocons and the national security Democratic establishment.
10moments
- 4:54Why would Assad use chemical weapons on the eve of a peace agreement when the U.S. had already told him he could choose his own leaders?
- 5:38Tim describes Assad sitting down and deciding gassed babies in the street would be a nice bow on the president's term.
- 5:48Tim says he's very open to the false flag idea but explores what happens if Assad actually did it.
- 6:21Slavery is coming back in Africa and horrible things happen all over the world, so why focus on Syria?
- 7:11Trump was elected partly because people don't want another Iraq, and Americans simply don't care about gas attacks in Syria anymore.
- 7:38What happens after the U.S. deposes Assad? It's going to look like Providence, the caller responds, and the administration of theater will flourish.
- 8:17Tim blames Democrats and the left for clamoring to have an issue with Russia ever since the election.
- 8:40The national security establishment—Democrats and neoconservative Republicans—seems to be the same breed of people, with no real difference between Hillary Clinton and John McCain on these issues.
- 9:23We don't know a ton about Kim Jong-un because it's very tough to know a lot about North Korea.
- 9:37Tim says Kim Jong-un is at least not walking around in a dress, which would make him not rational—then preemptively asks not to be tweeted at about it.
- 5 min
Debating the Syria Strike's Long-Term Consequences
#Continued back-and-forth on whether the missile strike was a proportional punitive response or the start of another Iraq-style quagmire, discussing regime change risk, refugee flows, and comparisons to past U.S. interventions like Libya and the Mujahideen.
10moments
- 11:03Tim explains the Syria strike debate: most people view it with an eighth-grade mentality asking "what will this accomplish," but the lack of action and the signal it sends matter.
- 11:31Russia's forces were warned before the U.S. strike, which Tim sees as rational and contradicts the "Trump's in bed with Russia" narrative.
- 12:11Tim predicts the Syria strike will be a mistake that draws America into a prolonged conflict with no winners except defense contractors, similar to Iraq.
- 12:38The George W. Bush invasion of Iraq was unprecedented in putting boots on the ground again after a long period of avoiding that approach.
- 13:11The U.S. has a 30-year history of making punitive strikes after terrorist actions—against Gaddafi, the PLO, and others—that doesn't necessarily lead to full-scale war.
- 13:34As the de facto police of the world, America sometimes makes proportional punitive strikes, which Tim says is acceptable if that's what Syria was.
- 14:07Even without boots on the ground, if the U.S. removes one side in Syria, the result could be chaos and a refugee crisis to Europe and America.
- 14:32Tim notes that if the administration really wanted to escalate in Syria, they wouldn't have made this strike; they'd assemble a case the way they did for Iraq.
- 15:18Chemical weapons are the rationale for the strike, and Tim understands that—you can't allow it—but questions whether the model itself is outdated.
- 15:36Assad is probably a monster by any measure, but the instability following his removal raises complications about sectarian protection in the region.
IraqSyriaISISBashar AssadGeorge W. BushRussiaDonald TrumpGaddafi
- 3 min
Tim and Ray dissect Sean Spicer's botched comparison about Hitler not using chemical weapons 'on his own people,' debating whether it was a genuine gaffe or overblown outrage given the Holocaust context.
8moments
- 15:47Tim explains the cycle of American military intervention destabilizing countries, then forcing taxpayers to subsidize refugees fleeing those regions.
- 16:12U.S. foreign policy mistakes span from Iraq regime change to bleeding resources on the Mujahideen throughout the 1980s.
- 16:50Most people discussing politics lack basic knowledge of how current events developed, getting their news only from Twitter.
- 17:11Tim admits the Trump administration is cartoonish, though Hillary Clinton would likely handle certain issues better.
- 17:27Sean Spicer made an awkward statement about Hitler and chemical weapons that wasn't intended as a joke.
- 17:41Hitler used gas on people, but the distinction Spicer attempted—about what wasn't used in concentration camps—technically matters yet sounds absurd from a press secretary.
- 18:12Making a hyper-technical point about Hitler's chemical weapons is a terrible blunder for a press secretary regardless of intent.
- 18:24Tim acknowledges Spicer is an idiot, but the press and public rightfully jump on press secretaries who make Holocaust-adjacent statements.
- 4 min
Trump's Clown Car Administration and Steve Bannon the Radical
#Tim rips into the chaotic Trump White House staffing (Kushner, Ivanka, Flynn, Bannon's ouster, Reince Priebus) and pivots into a surprisingly sympathetic take on Bannon's radical anti-empire, anti-free-trade ideology.
9moments
- 18:42Trump appointed a clown car to run the country, with his fucking family everywhere.
- 19:04Bannon was forced out, Flynn resigned in disgrace—this is a legitimate clown car administration.
- 19:25The outrage is almost valid but expressed poorly, like defending Hitler for not using gas on troops.
- 20:13Sean Spicer's awkward wording about Holocaust gas chambers was insensitive and technically wrong.
- 20:43A clown car of incompetent people got pulled in front of the White House and staffed every government position.
- 21:24Bannon is deeply revolutionary and hates the moderate Reince Priebus; there's an internal war in the administration.
- 21:34Bannon wants to reform America and doesn't care about maintaining empire—it's the Buchanan wing of conservatism.
- 21:48Bannon's ideology calls for isolationism and clamping down on free trade, reversing fifty years of major policy.
- 22:00Tim watched some of Bannon's recent speeches on economics and found him not as crazy as expected.
Donald TrumpMichael FlynnSteve BannonIvanka TrumpJared KushnerRick PerryK.T. McFarlandSean Spicer+1 more
- 5 min
The Federal Reserve, Andrew Jackson, and the House of Cards Economy
#A history-nerd digression into the Federal Reserve as a private banking cartel, Andrew Jackson's war with Nicholas Biddle and the Second Bank of the United States, and whether the modern financial system could ever be safely unwound.
10moments
- 22:21Tim argues that to be rational now, you essentially have to be a radical, because the financial system itself is fundamentally broken.
- 22:50The U.S. has operated as a house of cards financially for nearly 100 years.
- 23:13In theory the system could be unwound gradually through currency revaluation and inflation reduction, but the political cycle prevents it.
- 23:33Banks now effectively hold the government hostage and can destabilize the economy with their actions.
- 24:02Andrew Jackson's war against the Second Bank of America and Nicholas Biddle was a monumental political and bureaucratic battle in the 1820s-30s.
- 24:48Jackson famously said he would break the bank on his knee and fought a PR war with bank president Nicholas Biddle.
- 25:19The Federal Reserve itself faced massive opposition when being passed because average people understood the dangers of banking systems.
- 25:42The Federal Reserve is a private bank, essentially a cartel that the government borrows money from on behalf of citizens.
- 26:05What the Fed effectively does is cartelize U.S. currency into a massive bubble, whereas before you had different banks that could fail if they made bad decisions.
- 26:28Before centralized currency, if a bank ran a scam, it had to be a good one because the bank would collapse and people would just use a different one.
Federal ReserveAndrew JacksonSecond Bank of the United StatesNicholas BiddleBernie SandersSteve Bannonbanking systemAlexander Hamilton+1 more
- 9 min
Announcing 'Who Took Johnny: The Musical'
#Tim announces he and Ray are turning the child-trafficking documentary 'Who Took Johnny' into a stage musical at the Creek and the Cave, joking about raising awareness, casting, and how tasteless the concept is.
10moments
- 27:51Tim explains why he called Ray to pitch a musical project while Ray was in an Uber pool.
- 28:50Story needs young and old people interacting in interesting ways, like The Lion King.
- 29:21Tim and Ray decide to create "Who Took Johnny: The Musical."
- 29:47The musical will be about human trafficking and satanic pedophile cults, but with fun dance numbers and great costumes.
- 30:21They're most likely doing it at The Creek in the Cave in Long Island City.
- 30:57Tim acknowledges the project will look bad but argues they're raising awareness about child abduction.
- 31:44Tim's second cousin is an EGOT winner who wrote music for The Book of Mormon, Avenue Q, and Frozen.
- 32:50"Let It Go" is one of the biggest songs in the last 50 years; even two-year-olds on YouTube sing it.
- 34:04Tim pitches to his second cousin: they want an hour of his time to advise on the musical and give guidance.
- 35:44Tim plays his second cousin and describes the project to him as a musical about investigations into local politics.
Who Took JohnnyPractical JokersFrozenBook of MormonThe Creek and the CaveAvenue QRay KumpLin-Manuel Miranda
- 2 min
Cold-Calling Cousin Bobby the EGOT Winner
#Tim does a bit imagining calling his EGOT-winning distant cousin 'Bobby' (composer of Frozen, Book of Mormon, Avenue Q) to ask for musical theater tips, escalating into an absurd fake phone call.
5moments
- 36:13Cousin Bobby's musical is called Johnny, and they're looking for tips from him on the music and lyrics.
- 36:38Tim and the crew ask Bobby if he could spend a few minutes helping their musician, emphasizing he's not in Bobby's league.
- 37:07Bobby erupts, revealing he works for the kernel and ranting about human trafficking money going into Finding Nemo the musical.
- 37:35Tim pivots to asking if Bobby can get the kernel involved as an investor in their musical instead.
- 38:01Tim notes their guy could make the songs ten times better with Bobby's guidance, but acknowledges they'd have to write fake songs first.
Finding Nemo the musicalJohnny the MusicalSteven Sondheim
- 2 min
Performing 'Who Took Johnny: The Musical' Songs
#Tim and Ray perform mock show tunes for the musical, including a bit where Ray knocks the camera during the bit.
6moments
- 38:21Tim performs opening lyrics to 'Who Took Johnny: The Musical' about politics and corruption
- 38:37Sings about men with appetites who are not nice, but if a man can pay the price, who is he to judge
- 38:47The musical's premise: everyone wants this ass, and he's just handing out papers watching for rapists
- 39:19Tim pitches the full production plans for 'Who Took Johnny: The Musical' with costumes and a cast of ten to fifteen people
- 39:38People are already messaging to be in it, which shows where their careers are at—Tim calls it rough and sad
- 39:49Some performers are so desperate they'll do anything, go to cages, just for a little attention
Johnnymusical
- 5 min
Casting, Copyright Concerns, and Cast Announcements
#They discuss casting Ray as 'Johnny,' whether they'll get sued for using the real documentary's name and likeness, and joke about ticket sales, understudies (Joey Fatone), and a possible weekend run.
9moments
- 40:16Tim made a poorly produced video about Reagan for a high school production class featuring prostitutes who went to the White House.
- 40:49Tim questions why anyone would attend a live podcast when they could see a musical about the documentary Who Took Johnny instead.
- 41:27They're considering casting Paul Bonansi in the musical, though Tim worries about legal problems from involving the actual documentary subjects.
- 41:55Tim and the guest debate whether they have the rights to make a musical based on Who Took Johnny, concluding they absolutely do not.
- 42:27Ray is cast as Johnny in the musical, and Tim insists anyone not attending the show is psychotic.
- 42:56You can't copyright a true story that actually happened, though they acknowledge concerns about the name and logo.
- 43:23Tim tells Shannon she should be morbidly obese and that her current weight is not attractive.
- 43:52They discuss potentially doing a full weekend or longer run of the musical, with Tim floating the idea of a six-month engagement.
- 44:15If Ray leaves the production, Joey Fatone would replace him as Johnny in the musical.
Who Took JohnnyRay KumpShannonJoey FatonePaul Bonansi
- 4 min
No Afterparty Buffet: Roasting the Chat Room
#Tim mocks the chat room's demands for an afterparty buffet after the musical, riffing on dress codes and calling out low-effort fan suggestions.
10moments
- 44:32Tim mocks the chat room for batting a very low average on meaningful suggestions.
- 44:42Someone in chat asked if he'd been to Minnesota, which Tim dismisses as an insane and irrelevant question.
- 44:52The chat room criticizes the musical and then demands an after-party buffet, which Tim finds absurd.
- 45:19Tim argues that comedians shouldn't have to relax with a buffet after performing an entire Broadway musical.
- 45:38Discussion of dress code for the event—Tim sarcastically proposes white tie and references the golden age of theater.
- 46:09Tim announces they are definitely not doing an after-party buffet.
- 46:27Attractive fans come to shows, but the chat room doesn't actually attend in person.
- 46:48Tim jokes that Shannon dubs over his voice so it sounds like they're talking at the same time sometimes.
- 47:28Tim asks Ray whether any actual cult victims listen to the show and might appreciate the light treatment of heavy topics.
- 47:57Tim speculates that cult victims are just tweeting at them day by day and would probably love the show.
- 7 min
Glenn Close, Sunset Boulevard, and Broadway Aspirations
#Tim and Ray argue about Glenn Close's Broadway salary and talent, Ray's terrible performance of 'Music of the Night,' and whether Ray's own foam-sword movie could be compared to Avatar.
11moments
- 49:45Tim saw Sunset Boulevard with Glenn Close and a good-looking guy in a speedo, then made an inappropriate comment that only he and one other person laughed at.
- 50:34He attended Phantom of the Opera last year and felt the female lead wasn't very good, though he admits he couldn't sing better than her.
- 50:51Tim describes how he would perform the Phantom role, singing and sweating intensely in place.
- 51:24Ray's speaking voice sounds diseased, like he has a bullet in his throat, but when he sings he sounds like an angel with no speech impediment.
- 52:33Broadway has gotten bad, with most shows featuring mediocre NYU kids, except Glenn Close is great in Sunset Boulevard.
- 52:53Glenn Close probably gets paid $40,000 a week, which is a lot of money for Broadway standards.
- 53:18Ray questions what else Glenn Close could be doing instead of Sunset Boulevard, suggesting other projects.
- 53:44Ray criticizes Glenn Close while sitting in a car with food on the floor and pizza under his feet, eating and sweating.
- 54:21Ray suggests he'd be a good agent or producer and could get Glenn Close for cheaper, questioning why they're paying her $40,000.
- 54:55Tim responds that Glenn Close fills the theater every night, prompting Ray to make a mock courtroom bit out of the phrase "I have accomplishments."
- 55:23The conversation shifts toward other topics as they run out of Broadway material to discuss.
- 2 min
North Korea Missile Tests as Routine Empire Maintenance
#Brief return to geopolitics, framing North Korea's missile tests and the Alabama governor affair story as routine noise rather than genuine crisis, 'maintenance of empire.'
4moments
- 55:46North Korea tests missiles every year as part of a celebration, then does something aggressive with a new weapon.
- 55:59Tim frames missile tests and war games as empire maintenance—tit for tat chess between superpowers placing aircraft carriers in each other's oceans.
- 56:19North Korea missile tests are routine geopolitical motions; people only pay attention when they briefly enter political discourse.
- 56:44Kim Jong Un may be testing his power and establishing himself after getting control five or ten years ago.
- 3 min
Feeling Your Oats and the Ruthless Bit
#A tangent about the phrase 'feeling your oats,' looking it up on the spot, and Ray insisting he's a ruthless person despite owning one hat and eating off the floor of his car.
11moments
- 57:03Tim explains that a young man could be "feeling his oats" for about two days.
- 57:26Producer Shana looks up the phrase: to feel energetic, frisky, or behave in a vigorous or bold manner.
- 57:36Tim dismisses the definition as meaningless because nobody actually says "feeling your oats."
- 57:47Tim launches into a bit as someone accused of raping 17 people, defending himself by claiming a bug was on a woman's back.
- 58:06The bit escalates: he bit her neck trying to remove the bug and then ate her by mistake at a Golden Corral.
- 58:21He frames the violence as maintenance of his personal empire, comparing it to geopolitics between countries.
- 58:36Tim goes on a rant dismissing everyone as losers, claiming he wrote a play and loves Stanley Kubrick while others like generic entertainment.
- 58:54Tim admits sometimes he feels bad criticizing people far more successful than he is, but he still does it anyway.
- 59:20He argues he has a more nuanced approach and can appreciate things on a higher level, defending his critical stance.
- 59:36Despite criticizing successful people's work, he occasionally feels something about it because they've accomplished tremendous things and made millions.
- 59:58Tim identifies himself as ruthless, like Gordon Gekko, claiming he takes what he takes without shame or the guilt lawyers experience.
- 3 min
Mock Courtroom: Ruthless Guy Bit and Golden Corral Joke
#An extended riff turning into a mock trial bit where Tim plays a defendant claiming he's maintaining his own empire by eating people at Golden Corral, capped by a Christopher Hitchens 'termites' quote.
9moments
- 1:00:07A ruthless person owns one hat; someone offered to send him a hat via P.O. box, which is something a homeless person from 1912 would do.
- 1:00:32Tim imagines what the world would look like if ruthless people like him ran things instead of people who build missiles.
- 1:01:08If everyone were just fat critics sitting around arguing about Kafka instead of starting wars, the world would be better.
- 1:01:22Tim made a movie in 2004 with Bill that's essentially the same thing as Avatar, which he didn't like.
- 1:01:49The movie involved guys with foam swords fighting each other and a subplot about ransoming people.
- 1:02:18Tim genuinely believes his own movie deserves to be discussed in the same sentence as Avatar, the highest-grossing film of all time.
- 1:02:29He clarifies he was young when he made it, but knowing what he knows now, they could definitely have a discussion about whether his version would be better.
- 1:02:41Tim doubles down: "we could have a discussion, is all I'm saying" about his foam-sword movie versus Avatar.
- 1:02:55The host observes how long these termites have dined inside Tim's head.
- 2 min
Tim runs down upcoming shows including San Antonio Improv, NYC tour bus dates, Ray's St. Mark's Theater show, plugs social media, and closes out the episode.
6moments
- 1:03:03Tim announces tour dates in San Antonio, May 3rd through 7th, speculating another comedian dropped the gig because of Cinco de Mayo.
- 1:03:23New tour bus shows launching mid-May around New York City, with tickets coming soon on TimDillonComedy.com.
- 1:03:36Ray will be at St. Mark's theater this Wednesday for a live show.
- 1:03:55Paul's burger joint across from St. Mark's gets a brief endorsement as a decent burger spot.
- 1:04:06Tim expects the Guinea Pig weekend show to sell out within an hour of ticket announcement, with people flying in from Miami and other states.
- 1:04:37Contact information and social media handles: TimDillonComedy.com, Twitter and Instagram @TimDillon, Facebook Tim Dylan.