rant · moment 4 of 13
Don't Order Seamless: The Death of Delivery Food
from Second Life (with Alex Steinberg) · #36
Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.
10 minA long rant about being fed up with food delivery apps like Seamless, Uber Eats, Postmates, and the high-end app Caviar, including a story about a friend's cold $50 ribeye and spilled shrimp cocktail delivered to a fancy Midtown apartment, plus riffs on cold Taco Bell and lazy breakfast orders.
- 6:09Tim refuses to eat seamless delivery at someone's home, saying he doesn't want to eat out of a box like a dog.
- 6:24He's over food delivery unless it's pizza or Chinese food, rejecting the post-apocalyptic nightmare of eating everything from plastic boxes.
- 7:08Ordering from expensive restaurants on Uber Eats delivers cold food an hour later—he once received cold octopus.
- 7:20Tim proposes Uber Eats Pool, where everyone in a car takes a bite of your food before it reaches you.
- 7:37Breakfast delivery arrives as soggy, disintegrating toast and cold pancakes sopped in butter.
- 8:29Luxury delivery apps like Caviar exist to rob rich people of what makes them special—being different from regular people.
- 9:40His friend ordered a $70 ribeye steak via Caviar delivery service, arriving cold in a plastic container.
- 10:41Shrimp cocktail shouldn't be eaten on a couch—the environment matters to the dining experience.
- 11:39Breakfast delivery is ultimate laziness: people order cold, soggy bagels instead of walking a block to get fresh ones.
- 12:03Breakfast isn't hard to cook, and people aren't realizing the delivered food is actually worse than what they'd make themselves.
- 12:56Delivery drivers carry nine bags of full Thanksgiving dinners up multiple flights of stairs because customers won't leave their apartments.
- 13:34Living in New York City isn't about having a nice apartment—it's about leaving your house and meeting people, not ordering delivery.
- 14:09Postmates delivering Taco Bell ruins the food; it's inedible unless eaten immediately after purchase, with cheese reverting to plastic when cold.
- 15:10Delivery fees stack to $30 for a Taco Bell order that could feed someone for a month, driven by pure laziness.
- 15:20A weird collusion between laziness and the economy is ruining food quality and all dining experiences.
- 15:41Instead of delivery, hire a chef or get a catered meal, but don't make him wait for Uber Eats.
- 16:00Tim concludes his rant by stating the entire delivery situation is simply not right.