rant · moment 6 of 18
The Regular: A Woman's Ritual Buffet Routine
from Pizza Hut Buffet · #32
Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.
4 minThey spot a lone regular customer who walks straight to her usual table with tissues, water, and a plastic bag, ask for ranch dipping sauce, and Tim frames her comfort and efficiency as the peak of the buffet experience, briefly detouring into a Gorsuch Supreme Court aside.
- 13:44Tim questions who would visit a six-dollar all-you-can-eat pizza buffet in the middle of the day.
- 14:06A mother brought her kids in and told one who claimed not to be hungry: you eat now, because at home you'll say you're hungry.
- 14:27Tim recalls eating 13 to 14 slices of pizza here, plus dessert pie and breadsticks.
- 14:40He used to come stoned and would leave once his stomach was so full he started having panic attacks.
- 15:05When the buffet announced no dessert pies were available, customers started flipping out.
- 15:27People would work together to spot fresh pies hitting the buffet, while slower customers settled for bastard pies like black olive and thin crust.
- 16:14The two-hour buffet at six dollars means someone can show up and keep eating until they're dead.
- 16:27A woman walks in who represents Tim's people—she has a bag, prescription shoes, a box of tissues, and moves straight to a table like a regular.
- 16:50The woman demands ranch dressing immediately without looking at a menu, establishing herself as someone who knows this place.
- 17:22Tim observes that she comes here regularly, feels comfortable and safe, and represents what people are searching for in America.
Central American migrants