rant · moment 2 of 18

The $6 Buffet, Childhood Memories, and the Woman with Kids

from Pizza Hut Buffet · #32

Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.

3 min

Tim recounts his schizophrenic, obese mother taking him here as a kid, laments the buffet's decline from its creative-topping glory days, and they narrate a woman introducing her kids to Tim's driver as a potential new stepdad.

In this bit7 moments
  • 2:32Tim finds a $6 all-you-can-eat buffet too expensive compared to buying a frozen pizza.
  • 2:59The buffet's decline mirrors the decline of the American empire.
  • 3:27They had to request fresh pizzas because the ones on display were legitimately old.
  • 3:42The pepperoni slice he grabbed is inedible and sweating grease.
  • 4:07Tim compares the awfulness of this pizza to watching online executions, which are less disturbing.
  • 4:40A woman with two children was at the buffet, and when Tim's friend said hello to the kids, she called him the best friend.
  • 5:02Tim's take: if you say hello to someone else's children, you've basically claimed ownership of them and should take them home.

All 18 moments in this episode →