Episode 30 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Depths of Self-Deception
Jan 31, 2017 · 1:03:13 · 23 segments, 137 moments indexed
- 1 min
Show open with network branding audio about taking a critical look at billionaires, dictators, and CEOs.
2moments
- 0:14Tim's show premise: taking a critical look at society's designated villains—billionaires, dictators, CEOs.
- 0:24Tim argues there are bad people in the world and society should be thankful for them.
- 1 min
Ray Getting Tased at JFK During the Immigration Crisis
#Tim and Ray joke about Ray being detained and tased at JFK during protests, and riff on the absurdity of feeling bad for people who fly on planes when Ray himself has never flown.
3moments
- 0:31Tim expresses rare pride in Raymond for going to JFK during the immigrant crisis and getting immediately tased.
- 0:48Ray was repeatedly tased and beaten severely while trying to tell officers he's an American citizen.
- 1:02Tim argues he's not supposed to feel bad for plane-riding immigrants when Ray has never flown, despite Syrian refugees fleeing ISIS having better lives than him just because they've been on a plane.
- 1 min
Trump Was Never Supposed to Win
#Tim recounts assuming Trump only wanted a TV network and never expected to actually win, and speculates about the Trump family's business being run like a kleptocracy by his kids instead of a blind trust.
3moments
- 1:35Tim admits he thought Trump would win but didn't think Trump himself wanted to win—expected him to start Trump TV instead.
- 2:00Tim figured Trump would be a figurehead who'd let others run things while he made money through his hotels.
- 2:24Trump's businesses aren't in a blind trust; his kids handle them while he's not supposed to talk to them—a small kleptocracy.
- 2 min
Revolving Door Politics, Eric Trump, and Election Regret
#Discussion of financial and oil industry ties to government, a rumor about Eric Trump handling foreign/domestic policy, and Tim's fantasy of endlessly voting for Hillary just to avoid political conversations with morons.
7moments
- 2:43Tim on the revolving door of finance and oil into politics, noting oil executives have never been less powerful in government.
- 2:57Citibank allegedly gave the Obama administration a list of approved cabinet candidates.
- 3:12Eric Trump supposedly told a potential VP candidate he'd handle foreign and domestic policy while Trump just made America great again.
- 3:33Tim would have moved to a swing state to vote multiple times if Hillary had won, just to avoid political conversations with moron friends.
- 3:50People with no knowledge of politics are now trying to figure things out, reading books, which Tim sees as more damaging than apathy.
- 4:09When people discover how the government was fucking them, suddenly the background corruption becomes front and center.
- 4:23Now everything is balls out in the open, unlike before when it was hidden.
CitibankDonald TrumpEric TrumpObama administrationHillary Clinton
- 2 min
Sally Yates Fired, Executive Branch Loyalty
#They discuss the acting attorney general being fired for refusing to enforce Trump's order, debating whether it's principled defiance or a moral collapse point, plus comparisons to Obama-era loyalty.
5moments
- 4:39Tim asks if the listener feels like the country is headed somewhere bad, then answers his own question positively.
- 4:50Sally Yates, the acting attorney general, was fired for refusing to enforce Trump's ban.
- 5:12The executive branch is built with one focus: loyalty and obedience, not internal dissent.
- 5:30When a government official feels they have political cover and face a genuine moral question, they might actually resign.
- 5:48Tim uses the metaphor of skinning a sheep—you can do it many times, but only skin them once—to describe people finally breaking over Trump.
- 1 min
Guessing Trump's Supreme Court Pick
#Riffing on the upcoming Supreme Court nomination, comparing it to George W. Bush's Harriet Miers pick and joking about an obscure judge from Mississippi.
4moments
- 6:18Tim's father taught him the phrase "raise my gooses" or "collapse the whole thing before we get our gooses cooked."
- 6:36Tim speculates the pick could be anyone—maybe Stephen Hawking or Pierce Brosnan—and whoever it is, people won't be happy.
- 6:50George W. Bush nominated Harriet Miers, a terrible choice, showing even Bush was as crazy as Trump.
- 7:06Tim predicts the pick will be some obscure local judge from Mississippi who's never touched a federal court, with a name like Sterling.
- 3 min
Quitting Red Eye and John Basedow
#Tim explains why he stopped doing Red Eye, describing the bizarre lineup including fitness guy John Basedow, and mocks the show's declining bookings and confused audience.
7moments
- 7:27Tim quit Red Eye after receiving an email listing his panel mates for that night.
- 7:53John Basedow, the fitness guy, was booked on the same episode, prompting Tim to question what kind of deranged carnival the show had become.
- 8:19Tim says Basedow refuses to be honest and won't acknowledge he's overweight.
- 9:00Basedow is trying to hawk a fitness plan to housewives while Tim sits next to him with his sad fucking career.
- 9:19Tim didn't want to become one of those people they bring in—him and infomercial people on a show that airs at 3 a.m.
- 9:51Red Eye gets less viewership than reruns of Tucker Carlson or two-week-old episodes that air after the entire prime time lineup repeats.
- 10:09Tim did Red Eye for over a year, hoping at first it might lead to a real show.
Red EyeJohn BasedowFox NewsTucker Carlson
- 2 min
The Dippin' Dots Twitter Incident
#Tim recalls being criticized on Twitter for yelling at a Democratic strategist about Dippin' Dots on Red Eye, and jokes about wanting the power to make someone kill themselves.
3moments
- 10:52Tim screamed at a woman about Dippin' Dots ice cream on the last episode and calls it the pinnacle of what will happen on that show.
- 11:16Twitter is a nightmare, but random fans seeing clips online—even of him arguing about Dippin' Dots—is actually great for a career.
- 11:35Tim jokes darkly about the hypothetical consequences if the woman had killed herself, and expresses he'd love to have that kind of power over people.
- 5 min
Check Cashing Places and the Dell 'Dads' Commercial
#Tim describes the humiliation of using check cashing places, then launches into a long story about shooting a bizarre unaired Dell commercial called 'DADS' playing an overweight college student who keeps damaging his laptop.
10moments
- 12:18Tim still uses check cashing places despite losing 10% on every transaction.
- 13:01The humiliation of check cashing: they call the person who wrote the check to verify it while you stand there.
- 13:57Tim just filmed a commercial for Dell's new protection plan called 'Dads'.
- 14:38The casting call wanted a college student like Chris Farley—a big fat pig who keeps damaging things.
- 15:05Dell is trying to compete with Apple's popular AppleCare program by creating their own protection offering.
- 15:26The director is a kid from stand-up who claims his dad is a filmmaker and they have a sketch group.
- 16:02The product name 'Dads' stands for 'Dell Advanced' something, and Tim calls it so bad it's repeated four times.
- 16:25In the sketch, Tim plays a clumsy college student spilling tea, getting tangled in headphones, getting hit with footballs.
- 16:48The entire commercial is designed around him constantly damaging the laptop in various ridiculous ways.
- 17:06Despite all the damage, the point is that Dell's 'Dads' protection plan covers it.
AppleDellApple CarePLS check cashersChaseChico's bail bonds and check cash
- 4 min
Cashing the Dell Check and Bud's Boiler Betrayal
#Tim recounts the awkward verification call at the check cashing place for his Dell commercial check, then discusses his old mortgage industry days, losing his house, and his friend Ray's fear of being murdered over a boiler.
8moments
- 17:18Tim does a Dell viral marketing video shoot that runs eight hours and descends into chaos with a filmmaker dad and son arguing about angles.
- 17:53The shoot is a disaster but the check is decent, which is all that matters to him.
- 18:24Tim explains he needs clear direction or he'll do the wrong thing, but it'll be funny.
- 18:55A Chinese woman at a check-cashing place struggles to speak English while calling the guy who wrote the check to verify it's legitimate.
- 19:37At the check-cashing place, a woman tries to upsell Tim on a prepaid Visa card while other people argue nearby.
- 20:07Tim tells Brian he needs to mention that he uses a check-cashing place, framing it as something to work to their advantage.
- 20:22Brian suggests getting an imitation of someone and working from there, though Tim misunderstands and thinks he means Secretary of Agriculture.
- 20:36Brian jokes that Tim needs to make him some fucking money.
- 3 min
106% Financing and the House He Lost
#Tim explains how he bought his house with 106% financing during the mortgage boom, only kept it about two years, and jokes about visiting the new owners and fearing for his life.
6moments
- 21:11Banks charged Tim a thousand dollars in overdraft fees after one transaction bounced, then ran all the other transactions again.
- 21:50Tim used to cash paychecks at Sunrise Check Cashers in Freeport, New York, down the block from a mortgage company he worked for.
- 22:15Tim bought his house with 106% financing—borrowing the full value plus 6% for closing costs and fees.
- 22:35He paid the mortgage for about a year before walking away from the house after owning it for two years.
- 22:50When Tim recently visited the family now living in his old house, they had a check for him that had arrived there.
- 23:02Tim thought the new residents were going to kill him, worried they were his enemies coming to collect on the boiler he had damaged.
- 10 min
Jury Duty: The Murder Trial Tim Loved
#Tim tells the extended story of getting picked for jury duty on a brutal murder trial in Long Island, describing the gruesome details, manipulating his way onto the jury, eating chips during testimony, and delivering the guilty verdict.
12moments
- 24:14Tim was selected as a defense juror for a murder trial and the defense attorney looked at him and thought he would understand torture.
- 24:59Tim initially thought the trial would be a routine civil case before learning it involved murder, torture, and rape.
- 25:11The defendant had brutally stabbed the mother of his children so many times the coroner couldn't count the wounds, reaching at least 60 lacerations.
- 26:08The defendant was a police informant who beat the victim repeatedly while cops ignored orders of protection, leading to a major settlement for her family.
- 26:46Tim wanted jury duty badly because the mortgage industry was collapsing and he had nothing else going on.
- 27:38During jury selection, the prosecutor asked if his license suspensions made him hate police, and Tim responded he hated himself for being irresponsible.
- 28:39When the defense attorney asked if he could be impartial about torture and rape, Tim said they were only words.
- 29:11Tim threw a fit about being late for work during the lunch break to make the judge think he didn't want the jury duty, then got selected anyway.
- 30:13One of the victim's friends, a Latina gangster chick, fearlessly told the defendant he could come see her at her address.
- 31:39Tim was eating potato chips in the jury box during testimony and a court system worker who knew him from high school was horrified.
- 32:55Tim dropped a tin of Altoids during important testimony and the whole courtroom laughed, including the chubby defendant on trial.
- 33:21The defendant who liked Tim seemed to think Tim was his guy on the jury, but Tim had to betray him by voting to convict.
- 2 min
Bud Coming to Watch the Trial Every Day
#Tim describes his legendary friend Bud showing up to watch the murder trial daily like it was entertainment, becoming a fixture the court staff recognized.
6moments
- 33:48Tim has gotten in multiple boating accidents with Bud.
- 34:11Bud and Tim would go bar hopping by boat in Long Island together.
- 34:36No one knew how Bud got to the courthouse or where he came from.
- 34:50Court officers recognized Bud and greeted him like he was part of the family.
- 35:08Tim didn't read newspaper clippings about the trial because he never trusted the press.
- 35:22During jury deliberation, someone told Tim he was really funny and suggested he do stand-up comedy.
- 4 min
Sentencing Day and Making Autopsy Poster Boards
#Tim recalls the guilty verdict and life sentence, then segues into his old job printing gruesome crime scene and autopsy photos onto poster boards for trials, including a story about a man impaled with a tree branch.
10moments
- 35:46Tim describes the defendant receiving a life sentence plus 50 years and his courtroom reaction.
- 35:58The jury was polled after the guilty verdict, and Tim watched the process unfold.
- 36:15Tim reflects on the DA's competence and realizes he himself was never cut out for selling mortgages.
- 36:39A story about a victim who came in with a tree branch inserted anally, allegedly part of organized crime activity.
- 37:08Making poster boards for court evidence involved laying out crime scene photos with arrows pointing to wounds.
- 37:43Tim admits he was bad at creating those rape collages and never testified about his work.
- 38:01Morgues stuff garbage inside bodies after autopsy—wrappers, discarded organs, bloody aprons—before sewing them shut.
- 38:37They shove materials into the skull to prop it and maintain shape for the funeral.
- 38:58Tim proposes a JFK immigration screening room where he tells his success story to would-be deportees.
- 39:08Glenn Greenwald wrote an interesting article about something as the segment winds down.
- 2 min
Christopher Steele Dossier and Trump's Piss Tape
#Riffing on the Trump dossier, the death of the British ex-spy who compiled it, and Glenn Greenwald's theory about a deep state campaign to delegitimize Trump.
4moments
- 39:27Tim on the discredited Trump dossier featuring water sports and hookers in a hotel room.
- 39:55Someone offered to peg Tim; he notes he'll get opportunities outside the entertainment business.
- 40:07The guy who prepared the dossier was killed, supposedly a Russian or British operative.
- 40:31Glenn Greenwald's take on an underground war between the new administration and intelligence agencies.
The InterceptGlenn Greenwell
- 5 min
Obama's Drone Wars and Bombing Yemen
#Extended discussion of Glenn Greenwald's argument that Obama's foreign policy (drone strikes, Yemen bombing, kill lists) was as predatory as Trump's, and skepticism about America's 'good guy' self-image.
9moments
- 41:52Obama won the Nobel Prize and then immediately started bombing Yemen with the UK and US arming Saudi Arabia.
- 42:16The CIA ran drone wars with extrajudicial kill lists, dropping roughly 25,000-26,000 bombs as a country last year.
- 42:48US foreign policy has been reckless at best, but the real word is predatory.
- 43:07The people who profited from Iraq and trillions in losses are doing great—they're actually fine.
- 43:57Trump won't just blow up Yemen like Obama did; he'll do both torture and extrajudicial killing.
- 44:25Trump's UN ambassador said they're taking names of who America's allies are and who aren't.
- 44:53If you want to defend America, call the FBI and tell them to stop bringing in the guys they're connected to.
- 45:09Every terrorist attack involves someone who's been investigated by the FBI multiple times beforehand.
- 45:24The FBI puts suspects in a program, gives them drugs, leaves them in a room with a bomb, and sees if they take it.
Donald TrumpFBIBarack ObamaGlenn Greenwaldforeign policyCIAYemenIraq War+1 more
- 3 min
Terrorism, the FBI's Track Record, and Nice Attack Refugees
#Riff on how terrorists are repeatedly investigated by the FBI beforehand yet attacks still happen, plus discussion of refugees posing as attackers in the Nice, France truck attack.
8moments
- 46:05Nine of the eleven attackers in the Nice, France attack entered the country posing as refugees.
- 47:01Saudi Arabia wasn't on the travel ban list, but 19 of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudi.
- 47:25Bin Laden may have deliberately chosen Saudi hijackers to draw the US into conflict, knowing he hated the Saudi regime.
- 48:14The concentration of 19 Saudis executing 9/11 has a conspiratorial feel to it.
- 48:27The US censored the 9/11 Commission report to exclude Saudi Arabia and flew them out of the country after the attacks.
- 48:45The US government doesn't care about Islam or Islamic states—it's purely about money and geopolitical alliances.
- 49:06General Wesley Clark revealed the Pentagon had a plan to destabilize seven countries shortly after 9/11.
- 49:19The list of targeted countries included Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria, and Yemen.
9/11Osama bin LadenSaudi ArabiaWesley ClarkNice, FranceCronin and Phelan
- 1 min
Why Isn't Saudi Arabia on the Travel Ban List
#At the roast beef melt spot, they discuss the oddity of 19 Saudi hijackers on 9/11 with Saudi Arabia excluded from Trump's travel ban, tying it to oil alliances.
2moments
- 49:43Tim lists the seven countries on the travel ban — Libya, Syria, Iran, Iraq, Lebanon, and Yemen — and notes a general said destabilizing them was the plan.
- 50:26The post-9/11 opportunity to position America strategically in those regions, likely tied to oil, trade routes, and pipelines.
U.S. foreign policy destabilizationIranIraqLebanonLibyaSyriaYemenDarfur+1 more
- 1 min
Wesley Clark's Seven Countries in Five Years
#Recounting Wesley Clark's claim about a Pentagon plan to destabilize seven countries after 9/11, and noting the overlap with countries on the travel ban list.
3moments
- 50:52Tim explains how physically controlling oil flow with boots on the ground is a fundamentally different operation than just buying it.
- 51:20Paul Bremer's British imperial aesthetic—tea, suit, building massive military bases—made the occupation look like textbook imperialism in an Arab country after overthrowing its leader.
- 51:35Tim argues this pattern of occupation and base-building is how America has always operated.
- 1 min
US Bases in Iraq and Paul Bremer's Imperialism
#Discussion of the US maintaining massive bases in Iraq despite claims of withdrawal, and the optics of Paul Bremer's colonial-style occupation administration.
4moments
- 51:56Twitter's all Trump is a fascist thug, but the left has no coherent foreign policy — no nation, no borders, no deportation
- 52:18Obama would subterfuge and hide his actions; Trump doesn't care what Americans think, which is what's scary about him
- 52:36Obama stayed on brand as the beacon of hope; Trump ran on realpolitik and admitted the system is deeply corrupt and rotten
- 53:01Tim credits Trump for at least being honest that everybody's getting fucked in the system
- 4 min
Trump's Trade Complaints and the Anti-Semitism Third Rail
#They discuss Trump's decades-old grievances about Japan and trade protectionism, then pivot into how discussing banking and financial power gets uncomfortably close to anti-Semitic tropes, and why journalists avoid the topic.
7moments
- 53:13Trump's trade concerns about Japan and Korea in the 70s and 80s, watching them tax American exports without reciprocal access to their markets.
- 53:47The hidden economic dimension of American politics that mainstream economists avoid discussing due to fear of professional consequences.
- 54:20Tim notes that discussions of banking and financial intrigue get labeled anti-Semitic, a taint Hitler engineered by co-opting those theories.
- 55:04Discussing how certain groups had intelligence networks and happened to be Jewish, without endorsing the idea of a Jewish conspiracy but acknowledging it aided 20th-century propaganda.
- 55:28American military interventions like Libya are never really humanitarian but always aligned with direct business interests.
- 55:51People want a hero and need to believe they're the good guys, so they split reality into saints and devils instead of seeing complexity.
- 56:20The boom-bust capitalist system—lowering interest rates, loose money, collapse, repeat—is inherently unsustainable and leads to decline.
Adolf HitlerBarack ObamaDonald TrumpGaS DigitalMichael HastingsJapanLibyaKorea
- 3 min
Nobody Is the Good Guy (Michael Ruppert and Perpetual Growth)
#Tim reflects on realizing nobody is really the good guy, brings up conspiracy researcher Michael Ruppert's decline into the desert, and criticizes the economy's need for perpetual debt-fueled growth and celebrity hypocrisy on climate change.
7moments
- 57:03The entire economy is based on the requirement that it grows 3% every year, which is impossible without perpetual borrowing against the future.
- 57:26Michael Ruppert figured all this out and ended up wandering around in the desert—the CIA drug trafficking researcher lost his mind trying to stay grounded while deep in the conspiracy woods.
- 58:09Tim is terrified about going to LA for two weeks because he won't be able to have normal conversations with anyone.
- 59:09Hillary should have won, knowing everything about deep state dynamics and the way empires inevitably rise from corrupt states.
- 59:34America's brand is walking around being fake sociopaths while claiming to care about climate change and then leaving people in hotel rooms for housekeeping to clean up.
- 59:56There's something beautiful about the depth of American self-delusion.
- 1:00:12Tim says he would have been a great fit in the Trump administration as a little Steve Bannon figure, but he fucked it up to be here doing the podcast instead.
- 3 min
Tim announces the upcoming live episode from a Pizza Hut lunch buffet, jokes about his failed no-carb diet, plugs tour dates and social media, and hands the show over to Ray for a week before signing off.
7moments
- 1:00:40Tim tries to convince his co-host to eat pizza despite their no-carb diet
- 1:00:57The Pizza Hut buffet lunch episode has been on the books for a year
- 1:01:30Tim announces social media handles and upcoming LA comedy dates
- 1:01:43Discussing California listeners and whether Colonel Aquino might attend shows
- 1:02:02Tim's tour schedule looks like he's just getting heroin because he doesn't know where the venues are
- 1:02:20Pizza episode will air while Tim's in LA, followed by Ray's week hosting the show
- 1:02:47Instructions to rate, review, subscribe, and share episodes on social media