Episode 19 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Bribes and Bruschetta
Nov 15, 2016 · 1:02:50 · 18 segments, 132 moments indexed
- 4 min
Cold Open: The Chris Gethard Career Suicide Meltdown
#Tim and Ray recount going on Chris Gethard's post-election public access show, expecting a Hillary victory celebration and instead walking into a room of devastated liberal improvisers, some dressed as fruit, mid-meltdown.
8moments
- 0:17Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell.
- 0:49Tim describes a full-on psychological meltdown.
- 1:32Chris Gethard invites them to his show Career Suicide at the Lynn Redgrave Theater off Broadway.
- 1:47Tim and Raymond attend Chris's special on Public Access TV, thinking it's a big break.
- 2:08The mood at the event is tepid—there's a panel of eight or nine people, some improvisers dressed as vegetables.
- 2:57Tim and Raymond arrive on election night when Trump has won, showing up to what should be a celebration but finding tension instead.
- 3:11Chris brings them on the Public Access show in front of 40-45 people in the room.
- 3:25Chris is open about his mental health issues—depression, anxiety—and his fans share those struggles.
Chris GethardCareer SuicideLynn Redgrave TheaterRay KumpPublic Access TV
- 4 min
Screaming Match with the Girl from Maryland
#Tim distinguishes real mental illness (his schizophrenic mother) from Twitter anxiety culture, then describes escalating into a flat-out screaming match with an audience member who called him a straight white man, while Ray tried to reason with the room.
9moments
- 3:43Tim distinguishes between regular depression and family-destroying mental illness, noting he won't diminish anyone's struggles but thinks there's a spectrum.
- 4:18If someone's Twitter handle is 'I'm anxiety man 1987,' Tim says you have to own it rather than broadcast it as your identity.
- 4:34The setup: Tim and Ray were brought on as comedians and heels to the liberal panel, expected to yell about the Federal Reserve while the girl dominated.
- 5:18Within minutes of being introduced, Tim gets into a screaming match with the girl next to him over something involving her being afraid and him being a straight white man.
- 5:45Tim and Ray's bit involves going to Brooklyn asking liberal people what they do, then revealing they work for Goldman Sachs or defense contractors—so they joked her dad might be the head of Raytheon.
- 6:23When someone calls Tim a straight white man, his response is to say thank you, but this particular girl's reaction got aggressive and ugly.
- 6:47Ray thought this appearance would be his moment with Gethard and launch a national tour, but these people like Ray more than Tim because he's more their style.
- 7:18Tim watched the girl's face drain of confidence within a minute as the screaming match exploded between him and her, while Ray tried making smart points.
- 7:32As the argument escalated, Tim told Ray to shut up and called the girl a cunt.
- 3 min
The Banana Guy Cries and Callers Add Nothing
#The tension boils over as a banana-costumed improviser starts sobbing, callers from swing states phone in with nothing to offer, and Tim connects it all to a riff about kids who escape satanic pedophile cults growing up to be these anxious online personalities.
7moments
- 8:18A guy dressed as a banana starts sobbing during the bit.
- 8:40Tim jokes that in Trump's America, you're a banana now, and the material doesn't land the same way in a crying room.
- 9:01Modern comedy is just people gathering to talk about what they're afraid of.
- 9:16The white, well-off liberal women in the room are taking the election the hardest, despite not being directly threatened.
- 9:36Having callers phone in doesn't work for this format—they're bringing nothing to the table.
- 10:08Tim riffs that kids who don't get abducted by satanic pedophile cults become anxiety-ridden people on Twitter.
- 10:21He suggests the useless callers could have been useful to a senator trying to connect with the dark Lord.
- 3 min
A parody-style ad for Comet Ping Pong pizza spirals into Tim laying out the Pizzagate conspiracy chatter around owner James Alefantis, John Podesta's brother, and Alex Jones/Milo-adjacent internet rumors.
5moments
- 10:42Tim reads a Comet Pizza ad that becomes increasingly absurd, veering into references to secret pizza parties, shipping crates, and ping-pong.
- 11:56The Pizzagate connection explained: Comet Pizza's owner James Alefantis is linked to John Podesta and Clinton associates through his role as a DC socialite.
- 12:32Alefantis's deleted Instagram supposedly contained creepy pictures of children, which he claims were reposted by alt-right conspiracy theorists.
- 13:02Tim notes the Pizzagate narrative is always framed as an alt-right or Trump fan conspiracy, though there's allegedly chatter about something actually going on.
- 13:24This show doesn't seek out Illuminati pedophile cults—they find the show instead.
Comet PizzaJohn PodestaJames AlefantisAlex JonesDavid Brock
- 1 min
"Where's Johnny?" Heckler in Poughkeepsie
#Tim tells a quick story about bombing at a Poughkeepsie show days after the election, getting heckled by a guy yelling about someone named Johnny, and meeting his "biggest fan" afterward.
5moments
- 13:45Tim performing in Poughkeepsie, struggling through a joke he describes as being in a 'dogfight' with Dan Soder.
- 13:55A heckler from the back yelling 'Where's Johnny?' derails the set.
- 14:11The heckling continues with 'Who took Johnny?' and 'Where'd Johnny go?' repeatedly interrupting the performance.
- 14:24After the set, the heckler apologizes and explains he was the one yelling about Johnny.
- 14:34Tim reflects that this is what fandom actually is.
- 6 min
Ed and Linda Mangano: The Food Tester Scandal Cold Read
#Tim introduces Nassau County executive Ed Mangano and his wife Linda's bribery scandal (a no-show food-tester job at a restaurant), then launches into an extended improvised sketch with Ray playing Ed and Linda fleeing the feds amid garlic knots and antipasta.
10moments
- 14:48Ed Mangano's wife took bribes as a food tester at a restaurant.
- 15:00Tim installed Pergo wood flooring for $4 a square foot with a guy named Klaus from California.
- 15:11The implicit deal: relax restrictions and Ed's wife gets free Gorgonzola salads at the restaurant.
- 15:58Tim calls the scandal sad and pathetic—a scam about free meals at Macaroni Grill in Westbury.
- 16:27Tim did a fundraiser for Mangano years ago at Palmer's in Farmingdale and joked about the sweetheart deals he gave cops.
- 17:14Tim was making jokes about how everything in Nassau County is a scam, then discovered he was right when Mangano got indicted.
- 17:44Tim performs a bit imagining the Manganos frantically ordering food as the feds close in on the restaurant.
- 18:27Linda reaches for a garlic knot while being physically attacked by federal agents.
- 19:18Long Island can't even execute a scandal correctly—they just got fat eating eggplant rollatini and stuffed mushrooms.
- 19:42Linda Mangano was put on payroll to taste eggplant, making $300,000 a year as an official food tester.
- 3 min
Long Island Corruption is Pathetically Small-Time
#Tim marvels at how cheap and sad the Manganos' bribes were (deli platters, free pasta), riffs on Long Island's new sewage dumping policy, and mocks the local anarchist/poetry-mic comedy scene of Trump-voting kids.
7moments
- 20:30PR people critiquing restaurant menus is normal, but hiring a full-time food tester is nonsense.
- 21:00Tim notes the official gave himself a $70,000 raise during a budget crisis.
- 21:43The corrupt couple live in a cheap Levittown house and could be kept quiet with just a deli platter.
- 22:26Long Island authorities are now dumping treated sewage into Long Island Sound.
- 22:54Trump won Long Island by a huge margin despite the area's dysfunction.
- 23:09Long Island comedy scene consists of anarchist kids at coffee shop open mics pushing Trump.
- 23:27Tim argues women shouldn't be allowed to vote, claiming they're dumb in different ways than men.
- 4 min
Tim and guests dig into actual county vote percentages for Trump vs Clinton on Long Island, then pivot into a serious discussion of immigration, assimilation, and legitimate versus performative fears about the incoming administration.
9moments
- 23:58Trump got more than 51,000 votes in Suffolk County, but that doesn't seem like much for a region with eight million people.
- 24:24Trump won both Nassau and Suffolk counties combined by two percentage points.
- 24:40Tim acknowledges there are legitimate reasons people should be worried about Trump, despite not voting for him.
- 25:09Tim was accused of not booking diverse guests after women charged the stage at a show.
- 25:36Tim defends himself by pointing out he's written about white privilege and racial bias in criminal justice.
- 26:11A generation grew up under Obama thinking they were anti-establishment while actually being coddled by mainstream consensus.
- 26:45This coddled generation won't debate or argue—they call everything they disagree with hate speech.
- 27:06People who lost jobs in Ohio don't care that Jimmy Fallon or SNL had Trump on; media gatekeepers aren't their concern.
- 27:23Trump went to Michigan and Wisconsin talking to voters while Hillary Clinton didn't engage those communities.
Hillary ClintonDonald TrumpBarack ObamaJimmy Fallonwhite privilegeVinnie bababa
- 4 min
Stop Normalizing Your Own Feelings: The Anti-Trump Resistance Rant
#Tim goes on an extended rant against liberals declaring Trump "not my president" and invoking "the resistance," arguing that real power never cared what citizens think and that Instagram activism is empty compared to real historical dissent.
9moments
- 27:40You need racists to win.
- 28:04College kids and young people won't win if they can't speak to rural voters in their own terms.
- 28:28Trump's win was ugly; he was overtly racist in a way Goldwater was the last to attempt.
- 28:44Tim doesn't want to see anyone deported, despite eating at restaurants staffed by immigrants.
- 29:37Immigration is a real issue, not pretend—Europe's populations from Middle Eastern countries aren't assimilating.
- 30:24Stop saying 'don't normalize this'—he's the president, and that's just your feelings about it.
- 30:48Politicians in power don't care what liberals think; they never did with Obama or Bush.
- 31:26Protesting and obstruction are fine, but drop the 'normalizing' language—it's meaningless verbiage.
- 31:43The Instagram resistance isn't a real resistance; it's an improv troop.
Donald TrumpFacebookGoldwaterSaddam HusseinBarack ObamaGeorge W. BushParisEurope
- 1 min
Cheesecake Factory Bribery Bit
#A quick comic aside accusing Ray of getting a free meal at the Cheesecake Factory, tying back into the Mangano bribery theme.
1moment
- 32:02Tim reveals they went to Cheesecake Factory last night and asks if the other person paid.
- 5 min
Pence's Insurance Policy and the Cabinet of Weirdos
#Tim riffs on wanting to just be rich and quiet, then pivots into discussing Mike Pence as Trump's possible assassination insurance, Steve Bannon's role, Giuliani being passed over, and the chaotic, unprepared transition process.
10moments
- 33:00Tim wishes he'd just gotten rich, shut up, had a quiet apartment, and done nothing else with his life.
- 33:31Pence might be Trump's insurance policy—assassination him and you get gay conversion therapy guy instead.
- 34:01Trump filled his cabinet with people he doesn't know: Steve Bannon, the Breitbart editor and chief strategist.
- 34:38A former prosecutor as Secretary of State would be a nightmare for Trump's legal exposure.
- 34:58Chris Christie was involved in the transition for fifteen minutes and then dropped, then they put him in the basement.
- 35:19Pence refused to sign the transition document NDA, holding up the entire hiring process of four thousand people.
- 35:42Trump told 60 Minutes he wants to spend weekends at Mar-a-Lago and his golf course instead of the White House.
- 36:03Obama had to explain to Trump what a president actually does; Trump really didn't know.
- 36:20Trump's family looks solemn and unhappy, not realizing he could go down as a criminal instead of just staying a billionaire.
- 36:57Tim pitches a show concept called Trump's America, featuring one of the Trump children explaining why they're not racist.
- 2 min
Trump TV, the Mar-a-Lago Rumors, and Obama's Drone Tone
#Discussion of whether Trump secretly just wanted a media empire, comparisons of Obama's and Bush's foreign policy tone versus substance (drone strikes, targeted killing), and the futility of caring about who's president given entrenched systems.
6moments
- 37:52Tim says the country might be too broke to really fix and we're circling the drain, but nobody wants to hear that.
- 38:10Pointing out systemic problems makes you a bummer at parties because the fatalism leaves no room for action.
- 38:28Tim argues that wars don't solve economic depressions—they just realign the economy, and the perpetual war machine has kept the U.S. economy propped up for 70 years.
- 38:56When he tried this argument at a party recently, people agreed but then pivoted back to lesser-evil arguments about Hillary and presidents.
- 39:17After agreeing the system is broken, people change the subject to veal piccata because there's nowhere productive to go in the conversation.
- 39:40Telling people the economy is a house of cards and America is a bloated, rotting empire leaves them with no constructive path forward.
Hillary Clintonthe Federal ReserveWorld War II
- 6 min
The Empire is Rotting and Nobody Wants to Hear It
#Tim expands into a bleak riff about the perpetual-war economy propping up America, how conversations about the country's decline are conversation-enders at parties, MKUltra, the CIA's Cold War tricks, and why he refuses to get emotionally worked up like true believers on either side.
10moments
- 40:10People who worry about being thrown in camps would actually be better off in one, where their day is planned for them.
- 40:42Obama's drone strikes blew up weddings in Pakistan while he maintained a different tone than Bush on foreign policy.
- 41:20The CIA rebranded targeted assassinations as targeted killing, just changing the name of the same practice.
- 42:00Every war in history, including Hitler's, has been justified under some version of just war theory.
- 42:26Once you understand how society actually operates, you have nowhere to go and can't function normally.
- 42:45Russ Baker, a serious researcher, has descended into posting pictures of goats on Twitter from Jamaica.
- 43:27Somebody's always going to be president, so people pick their guy to hate—it's a game where the fundamentally true facts don't change.
- 44:11Tim jokes that if the government wants to put gay people in camps, they'd need informants, and he's already sent his availability.
- 44:56The CIA admitted to testing LSD on children during MKUltra, so of course they'd overturn Roe v. Wade and make it harder for gay people to get jobs.
- 45:30People love Obama because he plays basketball and dances with Ellen, ignoring that he blows up Pakistani funerals.
CIABarack ObamaMK UltraBrennanGeorge W. BushRuss BakerBrzezinskiReagan+1 more
- 5 min
Kathleen Rice, Ed Mangano's Political Ads, and the Long Island Sketch Continues
#More of the Mangano bit resumes with Ray and Tim doing dumb, vague campaign-ad voices ("Thank You Ed Mangano"), roasting Long Island congresswoman Kathleen Rice, and continuing the sketch of Linda scamming free restaurant meals.
10moments
- 46:06Tim criticizes Obama for embracing Bush's expanded executive powers on drones instead of rescinding them.
- 46:49Ed and Linda Mangano's political comeback compared to Anthony Weiner's failed return to politics.
- 47:04Tim mimics vague Mangano campaign ads from Long Island with deliberately nonspecific testimonials.
- 47:52Nassau County crime lab closed due to corruption and incompetence during Mangano's tenure.
- 48:22Tim does a bit about Long Island political wives as stereotypical mob-adjacent caricatures.
- 48:46Tim mocks Kathleen Rice as a politician who belonged at home making dinner, channeling a Long Island wife character.
- 49:07FBI raid on Mangano house finds dirty cats and trash bags, describing the corruption investigation.
- 49:39One of the Mangano bribes involved getting free food at restaurants.
- 50:02Tim does Linda Mangano family ad bit ordering large pies and eggplant heroes.
- 50:35Tim continues Mangano bit with Linda using her husband's name to intimidate restaurant staff about health code violations.
- 5 min
Tim reads the real New York Post story detailing the Manganos' bribery charges — the $450,000 no-show food-taster job, Niagara Falls trips, a Brookstone massage chair, and a Luminor watch — riffing on each absurd detail.
8moments
- 51:33Long Island can't even do a scandal right — they had their own problems, with Levy basically resigning instead of being indicted.
- 52:03Tim did Bobby Kelly's podcast and encountered a former vine star who now wants to be a comic.
- 52:34Vine stars got shut down and faced an ultimatum to pay a million dollars.
- 53:04Would you want to do a vine about how the CIA framed Nixon?
- 53:59What did this sad sack of shit Mangano do — he was broke and they're trying to pin it on a friend who has money.
- 54:42Nassau County executive Ed Mangano and his wife Linda were arrested for a bribery and kickback scheme involving a restaurateur who paid Linda $450,000 for a no-show job as a food taster.
- 55:23They received a $3,031 ergonomic office chair and a $3,000 massage chair from Brookstone.
- 56:01Tim mocks the sorry nature of their bribes — they're going to Niagara Falls like a couple of trash bags while Long Islanders go to Turks and Caicos.
- 2 min
Vine Stars and a CIA/Nixon Tangent
#A brief tangent about Vine influencers being forced off the platform and monetizing elsewhere, followed by a quick joke riff about the CIA wanting Nixon out.
6moments
- 56:18Tim's travel preferences: beaches over Europe's churches and ruins, just wants to read Danielle Steel.
- 56:57Oyster Bay connection — Tim's aunt and uncle live there, and he worked for a corrupt boss from the area.
- 57:13Town supervisor John Venditto implicated in the scheme — Tim notes the name itself sounds suspect.
- 57:28The defendant wears a fancy watch and got new hardwood floors while pleading not guilty.
- 57:42Tim compares current corruption to historical New York figures like the Genoveses and Leavies, then shifts to Trump's appointees.
- 57:52Giuliani made his reputation stopping stop-and-frisk arrests of Black men, then took credit for 9-11 by sending fire trucks to Ground Zero.
Rudy GiulianiJohn VendittoDonald TrumpOyster BayMike PenceWildwood
- 1 min
Giuliani for Secretary of State?
#Tim questions how Rudy Giuliani, known for stop-and-frisk and 9/11 credit-taking, could plausibly become Secretary of State, including a riff on Giuliani defending Trump's "grab her by the pussy" comment.
3moments
- 58:15Giuliani is multifaceted—the only one who defended Trump after the grab your pussy comment
- 58:35Tim imagines Giuliani's alleged victims commiserating about their back pain and digestive issues
- 58:53Debate over what a pokébowl is called and whether the name sounds like gay code
- 4 min
A short digestive joke about eating a poke bowl leads into a callback joke that Comet Pizza should sponsor the show, followed by tour date announcements (Pittsfield, Schenectady, Burlington, Maryland), social media plugs, GaS Digital promo code HELL, and the sign-off.
9moments
- 59:21Comet Pizza joke: the restaurant accused of pedophilia should sponsor the show to get out in front of it.
- 59:37Tour dates: November 19th in Pittsfield, Massachusetts at the Infield.
- 59:53November 30th in Burlington, Vermont at the Vermont Comedy Club.
- 1:00:05All tour dates posted on Twitter @TIMDILLON and Facebook; new website launching next week.
- 1:00:28Podcast episodes are free on iTunes; all eight episodes will be available with archives coming soon.
- 1:00:45GAS Digital subscription with promo code HELL for about six dollars a month includes Legion of Skanks, Part of the Problem, and SDR.
- 1:01:19Listeners requested a mango episode and Tim says this one delivered.
- 1:01:33Planning a live podcast event in the New York City area for January or February with potential guests like Russ Baker, Bobby Kelly, or other comedians.
- 1:02:07Plans for video projects and bonus content behind the paywall on GAS Digital.
GaS Digitalpart of the problemRuss BakerLegion of SkanksBobby KellyBurlington, VermontPittsfield, MassachusettsSchenectady+2 more