Episode 7 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Lou Balls
Aug 23, 2016 · 58:49 · 24 segments, 149 moments indexed
- 1 min
Show open with theme music and the tagline about taking a critical look at billionaires, dictators, and CEOs on GaS Digital Network.
2moments
- 0:14Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell
- 0:29There are bad people in the world, and thank God for them
- 2 min
Gentrification of Alphabet City and Bushwick
#Tim rants about the gentrification of the East Village/Alphabet City, joking that everyone now claims to work in 'online advertising,' then riffs with Ray Kump about being unwelcome holdovers in a gentrified Bushwick.
4moments
- 0:46Alphabet City used to be home to heroin addicts, transgender people, composers and musicians; now it's full of people who do online advertising.
- 1:15Tim on surviving in a city that no longer needs or wants him.
- 1:27Ray Cup lives in deep Bushwick and people assume he's fixing the oil—he's a holdover from before gentrification.
- 1:46Tim and Ray don't fit the new aesthetic; they're Long Island trash white and old eggshell white, not the Benjamin Moore Ohio white of gentrified Bushwick and Williamsburg.
gentrificationBushwickAlphabet CityWilliamsburg
- 1 min
Tim pushes the GaS Digital Network subscription using promo code, joking about CEO Luis J. Gomez's sales meetings and threatening to be embarrassed if listeners don't subscribe.
3moments
- 2:17Luis J. Gomez holds monthly sales meetings where the company discusses numbers.
- 2:32Tim pitches GaS Digital subscription for six dollars to get Legion of Skanks, Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, and other shows.
- 2:43Tim tells his landlord to just subscribe.
Luis J GomezLegion of SkanksThe Problem with Dave Smith
- 2 min
Ray's Landlord, the Coughing Filipino Guy, and Old Adderall Days
#Ray describes his landlord Steve who coughs constantly and possibly has asbestos issues, leading into a riff on Ray's old Adderall addiction and the disgustingly trashed car they used to drive around New York in.
5moments
- 2:47Ray's landlord is a Filipino gentleman named Steve who once gave him pizza at midnight.
- 3:01The landlord constantly hacks up phlegm in the bathroom, possibly due to asbestos in the building.
- 3:19Ray mentions he's done a lot of Adderall over the years.
- 3:38Tim jokes that Adderall is refined meth, high-grade stuff.
- 4:05The car was filled with cigarette boxes, napkins, receipts, and gum-covered change melded into the filth.
- 2 min
Show Format Explainer and the TSA Car Crash Story
#Tim explains the show's premise of defending society's hated figures like public defenders, then Ray recounts a strange DUI-adjacent incident where he drove into a car occupied by federal agents who fled quickly.
7moments
- 4:19Tim describes finding change in a car as 'a trail mix of failure' with gum, semen, and newspaper mixed in.
- 4:38Tim explains the show format: he and Ray defend people society has chosen to hate, like public defenders but more qualified.
- 4:57Tim mentions having a public defender for a DWI-type violation involving drinks.
- 5:07The guest references Tim driving headfirst into another car, which Tim clarifies was a different incident—he was tired, not drunk.
- 5:18Tim calls the car crash a 'shady thing' involving TSA agents.
- 5:35Tim claims the federal agents he hit were very quick to leave for the airport with their luggage, suggesting they might have been DEA agents on a drug run.
- 6:06Tim outlines what the show defends: CEOs, dictators, murderers, crime families, Ponzi scheme pedophiles, and today allegedly Lou Pearlman.
Tim Dillon's Going to HellLou Pearlman
- 2 min
They introduce the topic of Lou Pearlman's death, cataloging his stable of boy bands (Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, LFO, C-note, Innosense, US5) and his ownership of the Chippendales franchise, plus jokes about Tim's resemblance to Pearlman.
7moments
- 6:26Lou Pearlman died from a heart infection at 62, though foul play isn't completely ruled out.
- 6:50Tim's favorite was LFO, the less successful band that started to fall off.
- 7:14As things got bad, Pearlman just started putting everybody in—US 5, UK 5, Europop bands.
- 7:36Pearlman acquired the Chippendales dancers franchise, which were already shady before him.
- 7:51Tim's grandfather also recently passed away; he was a pool shark who produced boy bands—he was a boy.
- 8:16Lou Pearlman looks a lot like Tim, who jokes his rap name would be Young Pearlman.
- 8:28Lou Pearlman was raised in Queens, Flushing.
Lou PearlmanBackstreet BoysNSYNCChippendalesInnoSenseQueensC-noteLFO+2 more
- 2 min
They detail how young Lou Pearlman fell in love with blimps after seeing a Goodyear blimp, started an aviation business that literally crashed on its maiden voyage, and learn his cousin was Art Garfunkel who inspired his failed pop star dreams.
8moments
- 8:36Tim describes how the blimp entrepreneur saw a blimp one day and decided he loved them, changing his life.
- 8:57The blimp guy originally wanted to be a pop star because his first cousin—his father's sister's son—is Art Garfunkel.
- 9:18Tim acknowledges "The Sound of Silence" as a great song while making a joke about Garfunkel being "allegedly" a pedophile.
- 9:40Art Garfunkel stated the blimp guy couldn't become a pop star because he was too pudgy and soft.
- 10:02Tim relates to the story personally, saying he also wanted to be an actor but was too budget and soft, and now Lou Pearlman is a much more successful version of him.
- 10:21Tim jokes about his ceiling being a Travel Channel show where he walks around asking people "Hey, you got a meatball?"
- 10:33The blimp guy built an empire while Tim remained on stages making people laugh, and the listener suggests it's the perfect empire for Tim.
- 10:49Tim defends certain things as understandable and suggests love has no real age.
- 5 min
They read the infamous Vanity Fair anecdote of Pearlman in a bathrobe telling a hopeful bandmate to 'figure it out,' then riff extensively on blowjob jokes before covering how Pearlman transitioned from chartering planes for New Kids on the Block into starting the Backstreet Boys himself.
8moments
- 10:58Lou Pearlman's blimp obsession: saw one from his Queens bedroom window in 1964 and decided to start a blimp business.
- 13:20Pearlman's first blimp crashed on its maiden voyage after sponsors wanted gold leaf painted on the bottom, making it look like a floating turd.
- 14:01Tim compares Pearlman's perseverance after the blimp crash to greatness, telling kids listening that there's still time after failure.
- 14:18Pearlman launched Transcontinental Airlines, a luxury charter plane company, after the blimp business.
- 14:36New Kids on the Block chartering Pearlman's plane for $250,000 led him into the music business after learning they made a billion dollars a year.
- 15:10Tim reads allegations about Pearlman's sexual predation toward band members, including a late-night encounter at his mansion.
- 15:46Story of band member confronting Pearlman in his white terrycloth robe about joining the group, with Pearlman responding "smart boy, figure it out."
- 15:57Tim begins analyzing the implications of Pearlman's cryptic instruction and what it suggests about the band's formation.
- 4 min
Discussion of Pearlman inventing the reality-TV-audition model for pop stars, contrasted with organic vs manufactured bands like the Monkees and One Direction, plus a story about Pearlman auditioning boys in a blimp hangar and cooling them with blimp fans.
8moments
- 16:58Perlman starts Transcontinental Airlines, building a company through stick-and-move hustling, acquiring planes and investors from the neighborhood and Manhattan wealth.
- 17:42After getting seed money from insurance following a blimp crash, Perlman takes the airline public through shady investment firms and things take off.
- 18:24Tim describes Perlman encountering New Kids on the Block and recognizing the business opportunity in manufactured boy bands.
- 18:43An article argues that Lou Pearlman envisioned the reality-show-contest world we live in now—the American Idol model—as the creation of his manufacturing approach.
- 19:09The contrast drawn in the article: doo-wop groups from the 50s were organically formed versus manufactured acts like New Kids on the Block.
- 19:34The Monkees were 100% put together for the TV show, not formed as an organic band first.
- 19:52One Direction—probably the biggest boy band in history—represents a manufactured product, though they answered an open audition rather than being discovered organically.
- 20:08One Direction was created by Simon Cowell, not Lou Pearlman, though Pearlman had established the template for the manufactured boy band business model.
Lou PearlmanNew Kids on the BlockOne DirectionThe MonkeesSimon Cowell
- 2 min
They read the account of a 13-year-old boy in Pearlman's 'Take 5' band who found Pearlman naked at the foot of his bed, and Tim tells his own creepy but ultimately harmless childhood story of a director named Scott from a school production of Snow White.
5moments
- 20:38Tim reads that people found it odd for a blimp industry executive to diversify into managing boy bands.
- 21:13Lou Perlman apparently just wanted to hang out with good-looking hot guys, which Tim says you could blame him for.
- 21:24Tim Christopher, who joined Perlman's third boy band Take Five at age 13, recalls a sleepover incident where Perlman appeared at the foot of their bed wearing only a towel.
- 22:00Perlman performed a swan dive under the bed wrestling with the boys, his towel fell off, and Christopher says everything just stopped.
- 22:19Tim wonders whether Justin Timberlake, who was in the next band and on the Mickey Mouse Club as a kid, experienced similar situations.
Lou PerlmanBackstreet BoysTim ChristopherTake Five
- 3 min
They break down Pearlman's fraudulent Employee Investment Savings Account (ISA) scheme, which mimicked the real ERISA to trick investors like a Manhattan dentist's family into thinking it was FDIC/AIG-insured.
8moments
- 22:34Tim describes showing up as a child star to a blimp hanger in Orlando where a weird director approached him.
- 22:59The director of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs told eight-year-old Tim he could talk to him about girls because he knew all about them.
- 24:06Pearlman ran a massive empire in southern Florida built on complex financial fraud.
- 24:22TransCon Air stock paid around 10% annual dividend in the early 90s, and Pearlman created a new investment option called the ISA.
- 24:39The ISA, or Employee Investment Savings Account, promised 8% annual returns and Pearlman claimed it was guaranteed by the FDIC, AIG, and Lloyd's of London.
- 25:00Tim explains Pearlman marketed the ISA to non-employees as a pension plan with no risk and high yield.
- 25:28A Manhattan dentist named Steven Saran and his family started investing with Pearlman in the 80s after hearing about him from someone in their Florida retirement community.
- 25:48None of the guarantees were real—the FDIC and AIG had never backed the ISA, and Lloyd's of London eventually sent Pearlman a cease-and-desist letter.
PearlmanAIGLloyd's of LondonTransCon AirJennifer ConnollyScottSnow White and Seven Dwarfs
- 5 min
Nick Carter's Asshole and the Ethics of Kid Coercion
#A long riff on rumors that boys performed sexual favors for Pearlman including graphic jokes about Nick Carter and Aaron Carter, followed by a more serious discussion about whether coercion negates any argument about the kids being financially better off.
10moments
- 26:22Perlman displayed what appeared to be a massive AIG insurance policy, like the Wizard of Oz pulling out a fucking poster.
- 26:57The bigger lie was the simplest: there was no such thing as an ISA account, just ERISA without the R.
- 27:41Tim recounts mortgage companies mimicking legitimate bank names to confuse customers.
- 28:06Perlman needed the money for the boys and appearances of an empire to start making real money from the Backstreet Boys.
- 28:37Tim jokes about dismissing alleged victims as kids of grudges who didn't make the band.
- 29:04Nick Carter's asshole tastes like promise and potential.
- 29:21Boys were reportedly leaving Perlman's bed with sheepish looks on their faces.
- 30:03Tim asks whether it would have been worth it if these kids had gone on to have successful careers anyway.
- 30:36You can't have your first sexual experience in life be Lou Pearlman—that's the real damage.
- 30:56The issue isn't just what happened, but the coercion involved with minors.
- 2 min
'The First Driven Pedophile' and Awkward Dancing Fantasies
#They call Pearlman uniquely 'driven' compared to typical predators, comparing him to the Catholic Church, then riff on an imagined scene of him awkwardly dancing with boys in his backyard to Backstreet Boys songs.
6moments
- 31:23Tim would say the guy was a sexual predator, and all the talent knew what his game was.
- 31:39Someone described him as 'the first driven pedophile' Tim met.
- 32:06If you were a fat pedophile, Lou Pearlman is the guy who did it right.
- 32:27Tim notes he died in jail at 62, and that's what a pedophile can hope for.
- 32:57Tim imagines Lou Pearlman's situation: an endless supply of boys singing, waking up with a boy putting his dick in his face going 'quit playing games with my heart.'
- 33:09The image of him awkwardly shuffling, sweaty, surrounded by 14-year-olds bouncing around the backyard of his Florida estate.
- 4 min
Listening to Lou Pearlman's Failed Band C-Note
#They search for and play a clip of Pearlman's failed boy band C-note, mocking its terrible quality and joking about which band members got sexually favored by Pearlman versus which didn't.
10moments
- 33:35Tim on what you tell parents to recruit kids for Lou Pearlman's bands: pull out a bank statement, because the parents are psychopathic and money-driven.
- 33:52Pearlman had Britney Spears slated for a boy-girl band that never took off before she broke through.
- 34:08C-Note was one of Pearlman's failed bands, produced by a successful songwriter who also worked with Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears.
- 35:01Tim listens to C-Note's music and calls it the real tragedy—the members got no money from this project.
- 35:28After hearing the song, Tim says it's maybe the worst song he's ever heard and suggests the lead singer now delivers pizzas in New Jersey.
- 35:47Tim argues that Lou Pearlman lost his magic touch by the time he made C-Note.
- 36:06If this was actually Pearlman's project, Tim suggests Pearlman was really phoning it in at this point in his career.
- 36:42Tim describes Pearlman as getting complacent, fat, his stomach full of cum, just coasting at the end of his career.
- 36:53Tim riffs on guys in Wisconsin at a bar right now talking about how everyone got fucked by Pearlman and Timberlake.
- 37:14Tim's extended metaphor: everyone got in bed with Pearlman, and now working at Home Depot, they taste his cum again every time they help a customer find screwdrivers.
- 1 min
Tim's Regret About Never Being Pimped Out as a Child Actor
#Tim jokes bitterly that despite being a good-looking child actor, no one ever tried to molest him, wishing his own father had been more 'industrious' in exploiting him like Pearlman did with his boy band recruits.
3moments
- 37:45Tim reflects on his time as a child actor and laments that no one ever tried to exploit him sexually.
- 38:20Tim says wishing his father had sold his ass is one of his bones of contention with him, something he brings up at dinners.
- 38:32Acknowledging that involvement with Hollywood pedophile rings wouldn't have been perfect, Tim concedes he might have had serious problems or died.
- 3 min
They cover Pearlman's business collapse, being tracked down using the alias 'Johnny Incognito' in Indonesia after German tourists recognized and reported him, plus riffing on Lance Bass's 'well-adjusted' feelings about Pearlman's sexuality.
7moments
- 39:20Lou Pearlman pitched Making the Band to ABC, one of the first network reality shows.
- 39:50As the Ponzi scheme unravels, investors demand their money back.
- 40:08Pearlman meets with investors, pays in cash instead of credit card for the first time, then disappears.
- 40:29Two German tourists at the resort snitch on him to authorities.
- 40:59Tim jokes that his agent and manager ghosted him after he said he'd do a podcast defending Lou Pearlman.
- 41:28Pearlman could have been a priest or made X-Men movies instead of preying on boys in his industry.
- 41:47Tim argues age of consent laws vary by state and questions what the actual problem is if he's just hanging around seventeen-year-olds.
Lou PearlmanMaking the Band
- 1 min
Age of Consent Tangent and Murder vs Rape Bit
#A tangent about whether hanging out with older friends as a teen is comparable to Pearlman's behavior, spiraling into an absurd bit claiming murder is more socially forgivable than sexual assault in modern culture.
3moments
- 42:20Tim describes having a friend 17 years older and clarifies they were just coworkers, not romantic or in a band together.
- 42:40Imagining what a Tim Fray boy band would sound like, complete with sung lyrics about devil's eggs and dark places.
- 43:02Tim pivots to claiming you can murder someone and get away with it as long as you don't rape them or appear racist while doing it.
- 3 min
Brown Brothers Harriman, the Fed's Gold, and Conspiracy Riffing
#Tim describes walking past the Brown Brothers Harriman building and the Federal Reserve with a friend, riffing on conspiracy theories about the Fed's gold reserves and connecting it to Pearlman as a potential cover for elite pedophile networks.
8moments
- 43:37Brown Brothers Harriman is the oldest investment bank, handling elite family money with deep connections to the American intelligence apparatus.
- 44:01Tim walks around with friends talking about conspiracy theories instead of drinking or doing drugs.
- 44:20The Federal Reserve building has six levels down filled with gold.
- 44:34Die Hard 3 came out to make people believe the Fed actually has all that gold as part of a massive Ponzi scheme.
- 45:20Epstein requested two days a week of internet connection and phone lines while imprisoned so he could still produce boy bands from prison.
- 45:45Tim worked at a morgue and never saw anyone get a bacterial infection in the heart like Epstein claimed.
- 46:10Perlman owned blimps used for elite parties where politicians and Wall Street CEOs could abuse kids.
- 46:22Politicians and CEOs got on Epstein's blimp for slow-riding parties while participating in abuse.
Federal ReserveDie Hard 3Brown Brothers HarrimanBill ClintonMichael Jackson
- 4 min
They speculate about the convenient timing of Pearlman's fatal heart infection in prison, joking he may have known compromising things about Bill Clinton and other elites, reading his own prison interview quotes denying all wrongdoing.
10moments
- 46:44Tim references Lou Pearlman and the Backstreet Boys planned film appearance that never happened due to prison restrictions.
- 47:29Pearlman flatly dismisses rumors and claims nobody he made successful has accused him of anything negative.
- 47:44Tim's theory: successful people who worked with Pearlman stay silent because they made money, but struggling ex-associates hold grudges and speak out.
- 48:24Allegations emerge of child sex rings and multiple boys in Pearlman's house during his career.
- 48:47Tim suggests Pearlman's death timing is suspicious—was he about to release a tell-all memoir?
- 49:03Tim proposes inviting Rush Baker to discuss whether Pearlman was killed to prevent him from outing other pedophiles.
- 49:15The Clinton connection: Pearlman's death coincided with the FBI finding 35,000 more emails in the Clinton server.
- 49:34Tim floats the claim that the Clintons orchestrated Pearlman's death to clean up shop and silence him.
- 50:00Verdict on Pearlman: fraudulent huckster who created wealth and famous people but strained culture.
- 50:24Tim pivots to discussing Backstreet Boys and pop culture of the grunge era versus modern music.
Lou PearlmanEdward SnowdenLance BassNick CarterBill ClintonRush Baker
- 1 min
Rest in Peace Lou, and Transition to Housekeeping
#They wrap up the Pearlman discussion with a mock 'rest in peace' and pivot into brief banter about a German fan's correspondence and a Ukrainian deli sandwich Tim had.
4moments
- 50:41Rest in peace Lou
- 50:57Tim warns kids listening not to contact him
- 51:16Tim clarifies he has completely appropriate correspondence with the listener
- 51:28Tim ate a Ukrainian hero sandwich at Vyselka last night with meatballs, kraut, and gravy
VyselkaLou
- 3 min
Back to School Special Preview: How to Be Popular
#Tim previews an upcoming back-to-school episode, giving mock sincere advice to teens about the importance of popularity, lying, and dropping loser friends, drawing on his own high school Homecoming King nomination story.
10moments
- 51:48Tim claims people lie to kids about popularity not mattering, when it absolutely does.
- 52:00He describes rising through high school social ranks to get nominated for Homecoming King out of three candidates in a class of 400.
- 52:17Senior year involved wrestling jokes, awkward kissing, jogging, and hanging out with wealthy people.
- 52:29Tim was in chess club, which he says was named Most Leads.
- 52:40Back-to-school special will feature a lying expert to teach kids how to lie better, since few people do it well.
- 53:06Tim wants to book Bonnie McFarlane as the lying expert, calling her hilarious and a huge fan.
- 53:29September is a chance to reinvent yourself, lose weight, and get in better shape—or just lie more and manufacture an identity.
- 53:42You don't have to be the dumb jock or stoner; you can be a unique, cool person.
- 53:53Tim's own summer angle was positioning himself as someone who knew about class and society, not the drugs-and-beer crowd.
- 54:16He didn't drink beer or anything but bubble at people's houses, distinguishing himself through lifestyle choices.
- 2 min
High School Popularity Rules and Punching Up
#Tim continues his satirical popularity guide, describing his teenage drinking habits (Van Gogh vodka, Grey Goose) and his rule of only 'punching up' with jokes, including a yearbook anecdote about roasting a teacher.
6moments
- 54:27Tim cultivated a Frasier-esque character in high school by drinking Grey Goose and talking to parents' friends, which made him interesting and likeable.
- 54:44To be popular, you have to drop your loser friends — they won't become rich and famous, though one might.
- 55:08His yearbook noted he had natural humor without making fun of anyone; he roasted concepts and ideas, never people.
- 55:34His rule for popularity: punch up at authority, never punch down at people.
- 55:46Everyone has something to offer — money, looks, drugs, a high alcohol tolerance, or the willingness to die and receive empathy at their funeral.
- 56:10Tim argues that learning to build alliances and loyalty through popularity is genuinely important, not just cynical.
FrasierGrey GooseVan Gogh
- 1 min
Tim and Ray plug upcoming guests including Russ Baker and a lying expert, and list their comedy show dates including Gotham Comedy Club, Scuttle's Comedy Club, and the Stand, plus social media handles.
5moments
- 56:30Russ Baker coming on next week, possibly running long.
- 56:42Tim hosting Comedy Juice at Gotham Comedy Club tonight at 9:30.
- 56:54Tim performing at Scuttle's Comedy Club Friday and Saturday at 7pm.
- 57:06Tim appearing on the Late Show and Red Eye on August 29th.
- 57:24Ray Kump plugs his Twitter handle and praises the Dan Soder episode.
Dan SoderRuss BakerRed EyeGotham Comedy ClubScuttle's Comedy ClubStamped Comedy Club
- 1 min
Closing Thoughts: Lou Pearlman's Legacy and Thomas Sowell Quote
#Ray speculates about hidden Saudi or Texas oil money behind Pearlman's empire and a cover-up tied to Clinton-era politics, and Tim closes the show by quoting Thomas Sowell that 'there are no solutions, only trade-offs' for the wronged boys.
2moments
- 57:52Tim speculates about hidden investors—Saudi money, Texas oil—behind Lou Pearlman's operation, suggesting financial records contain more than the official story.
- 58:18Closes with a Thomas Sowell quote: there are no solutions, only trade-offs.