rant · moment 1 of 25

Cold Open: Osama bin Laden for NYC Mayor

from Zohran Mamdani, Political Rage, & The Hunt | The Tim Dillon Show #450 · #450

3 min

Tim opens with a bit congratulating a fictional mayoral candidate 'Osama bin Laden' who returns to New York to offer free buses and government grocery stores, riffing on the cost of living and 9/11.

In this bit8 moments
  • Tim announces Osama bin Laden as the Democratic mayoral candidate for New York City.
  • Tim notes bin Laden's ambition: he attacked the financial capital, hid out, then returned noticing how expensive lunch had become.
  • Bin Laden's fictional campaign pitch: acknowledging the Twin Towers attack while reminding New Yorkers of cheaper living costs in 2001.
  • Tim describes what $20 could buy in 2001 when bin Laden attacked the World Trade Center—smokes, cocktail, weed, and a burrito.
  • Tim imagines bin Laden justifying the attack to his audiences based on geopolitical grievances: troops in Saudi Arabia and U.S. support for Israel.
  • The premise: even while watching people jump from those buildings, bin Laden thought he might return one day and give them free buses.
  • Tim summarizes the fictional campaign: Osama returns to offer free buses, government-run grocery stores, and rid the city of police.
  • Tim clarifies he's joking about Osama bin Laden being a mayoral candidate.
Mentioned here

Osama bin Laden

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