The Beanie Baby Divorce

• 1:06:28Tim's parents created a comedian by doing crazy things, and he wouldn't be funny without what happened to them.
• 1:06:44When Tim moved around as a kid, he adapted by being funny to make friends in each new place.
• 1:07:20His parents were completely unprepared to have a child, and the whole situation was insane looking back.
• 1:07:53Tim's father spent Thursday nights at a men's club complaining about his wife while his mother went to a diner to complain about him.
• 1:08:29The divorce lasted two years; his parents couldn't afford lawyers so a mediator came to the house to divide their possessions.
• 1:08:46The mediator literally divided up Beanie Babies between Tim's parents because they had nothing else to split.
• 1:09:15Rich people fight over cars and assets, but Tim's parents had nothing and fought bitterly over that nothing anyway.
• 1:09:34Tim lived with his mother for two years during the divorce, then went to his father, and he doesn't think either parent cared much who got him.
• 1:09:46His mother fought for custody initially, then two years later told his father to take him because she was tired of dealing with him.
• 1:10:07Tim hopes his book about this dysfunction will be funny enough that people recognize their own family chaos in it.

War of the Roses