rant · moment 2 of 15
The House Slave, the Maid, and Hamptons Guest Etiquette
from Wet Hot American Epstein | The Tim Dillon Show #452 · #452
4 min
Tim describes his "house slave" (a white woman employee) and the maid hierarchy at his Hampton-area home, joking about the slime incident with his godson and laying out the rules of not talking to household staff as a guest.
- Tim on the death of outdoor socializing: people used to sit in folding chairs drinking, talking, and smoking, but now it's abandoned.
- Guests at Tim's house out east don't understand how to behave—they ask the help about their hopes and dreams instead of just having fun.
- Tim explains the hierarchy: don't speak to the maid, and don't start cleaning. The house slave is a white woman who manages the maid.
- The system in action: the maid takes photos of cleaned surfaces and sends them to the house slave, who reports to Tim.
- His godson brought slime with sprinkles to the house and got it everywhere; the house slave had to call Tim to explain what happened.
- Some maids are great and work toward a better life; others are selling fentanyl and not doing well—that's why the photo system exists.
- Summer house etiquette: guests should not engage with the maid or house slave and should not ask Tim about household operations like garbage or laundry.
- The chain of command: the maid reports to the house slave, who reports to Tim, because Tim pays all the bills.