rant · moment 3 of 15
Hamptons Wealth Etiquette and Not Asking Dumb Questions
from Wet Hot American Epstein | The Tim Dillon Show #452 · #452
6 min
He continues riffing on Hamptons summer-home culture, mocking people who criticize the wealthy for having empty houses or window air conditioners, and lectures on the etiquette of not prying into other people's lives or possessions.
- Tim on asking dumb questions in wealthy circles: don't ask where someone spends most of their time, nobody knows.
- When pressured about his whereabouts, Tim just says Rome and the Vatican mostly.
- Hamptons homes are only for summer; people who ask why you don't visit in fall are missing the point that wealthy people work.
- Don't engage house staff with questions about their dreams or what they want to do with their life.
- The only question to ask at someone's home: "Is there water?" Nothing else.
- Rich people don't burn money keeping unused Hamptons properties; they're creating a world where they've won.
- Tour guide story: people complain that New Yorkers have only wall units in historic buildings, ignoring their Palm Beach homes and Aspen chalets.
- People have forgotten how to be social; actual social behavior involves being reserved and keeping thoughts to yourself.
- When passing giant homes, people criticize them instead of shutting up—using others' wealth to feel smart about themselves.
- Tim clarifies the wealthy aren't claiming spiritual superiority; they're amoral people trying to justify their choices, unlike moral people who just stayed poor.
- Everyone Tim knows is scum who couldn't make more money because they kept doing cocaine instead of figuring things out.