Episode 361 · The Studio Revamp
The Vast Majority | The Tim Dillon Show #361
Sep 16, 2023 · 1:06:45 · 581,000 views · 19 segments, 103 moments indexed
Tim talks about the Sackler's ostracized from high society, selling his dead mother's art, Biden's speech and a Colorado Congresswoman who belongs at a carnival.
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- 1 min
Cold Open: The Bari Weiss Debate Recap
#Tim recaps performing comedy at a Bari Weiss-hosted debate event, joking that it was sponsored by the Mossad.
1moment
- Tim opens with gratitude for the Bari Weiss event attendance and cracks that it was sponsored by the Mossad
- 1 min
The Feminist Debate Panel and the Rooftop Afterparty
#He describes the debate topic (should women get hit in movies), praises Anna Khachiyan, Louise Perry, Sarah Haider and Grimes, and dismisses the exhausting afterparty scene.
3moments
- The debate proposition: should women start getting hit in the movies again, punched in the face in a romantic way to calm her down—the answer was no, but it was close at 51 to 49.
- Anna Khashian from Red Scare was the funniest panelist, alongside Louise Perry, Sarah Hater, and Grimes.
- Tim stayed about 40 minutes at the debate and found that more than enough.
Anna KhashanGrimesLouise PerrySarah Hater
- 1 min
Everyone in Hollywood Is on Ozempic
#Tim jokes about the Ozempic craze in LA, the rare gastroparesis side effect, and starts ranting about doctors being untrustworthy for hesitating to prescribe it to him.
3moments
- Everybody in Hollywood is on Ozempic, Tim says, and people bump into each other asking if they're using it.
- Doctors won't tell Tim whether he should take it, describing them as the scum of the earth who sell you anything.
- Tim ranks doctors as the lowest of the low for telling him to wait on Ozempic instead of just recommending it.
Ozempicdoctors
- 16 min
In Defense of the Sackler Family
#A long rant defending the Sacklers as unfairly scapegoated compared to other pharma and military-industrial players, tying in Painkiller on Netflix, his mother's past as a pharma rep, RFK Jr.'s crusade against pharma advertising, and a lengthy digression on drug use, calling for people to "handle their drugs" and stick to Percocet/Vicodin instead of OxyContin.
11moments
- Tim mounts a defense of the Sackler family, noting no one else has done so.
- The Sacklers created a product that worked too well—the problem was its own effectiveness.
- The Sackler wing at the Museum of Natural History is beautiful, raising the question of what wealthy families do with their money.
- Military industrial complex money is accepted by institutions, but pharmaceutical money from the Sacklers is rejected as tainted.
- Tim observes the Sacklers appear to be scapegoated—the only family everyone focuses on as uniquely evil.
- Tim has been sober for 12 years and advocates for realistic harm reduction rather than abstinence-only messaging.
- A friend's mother—a brilliant prostitute—taught them at 13 to handle their drugs properly, a lesson about moderation.
- When rich families collectively evict and blacklist one family, they're performing a ritual to protect their cartel while sacrificing one member.
- RFK is attacked for targeting the pharmaceutical industry because it's the most profitable in America and deeply fused with public health messaging.
- Cable news won't let RFK criticize pharma because their advertisers are pharmaceutical companies targeting ancient viewers.
- Tim enjoyed the Painkiller Netflix series and doesn't think the Sacklers are upstanding people, but neither is anyone else in that world.
Sackler familyRFK JrBoeingMuseum of Natural HistoryPainkillerConnecticut
- 3 min
Selling His Dead Mother's Paintings
#Tim reveals two paintings his late mother made before she died and jokingly starts an auction, insisting they be sold for absurd sums rather than given away for sentimental reasons.
7moments
- Tim was proud his mother was one of the hot chicks selling speed back in the day.
- His aunt just sent him paintings his mother created before she died, which he's never seen before.
- Tim says the paintings mean a lot to him and they are her last works.
- Tim proposes starting the bidding at $25,000 for a dead artist with two Patricia Dillon originals.
- The paintings don't fit the color scheme in his homes—he's worked with designers and they can't make it work.
- Tim insists these Patricia Dillon originals shouldn't be free and cost real money.
- Possibility of a gallery show with the two works as an exhibition.
Patricia Dillon
- 1 min
Call with the Art Dealer Sophia
#Tim calls an actual art dealer named Sophia, pitching his schizophrenic mother's paintings as having extra value because of her mental illness.
3moments
- Tim's mother was an artist who painted two things; she recently passed away after a long battle.
- Tim mentions she was schizophrenic and notes that the art world tends to appreciate work from artists with mental health problems.
- Sophia says mental illness can unlock something brilliant in art, and someone might see real value in his mother's paintings because of the schizophrenia.
- 3 min
Stenciling Nixon's Face Onto Mom's Paintings for Rich Hippies
#He riffs on turning the paintings into edgy art by stenciling bloody Nixon/Kissinger faces onto them to sell to aging rich ex-hippies nostalgic for the 60s and now excited about Pete Buttigieg, then calls his aunt Donna to track down more of his mother's works for a gallery show.
5moments
- Tim marvels at the art world and calls his mother a savage and a nut.
- Selling his dead schizophrenic mother's paintings to rich people, but explicitly not the Sacklers.
- Planning to do a gallery show for his dead mother's art.
- The paintings could sell for $100,000 each if they stencil a bloody Richard Nixon face in the middle and market her as a Vietnam-era schizophrenic artist.
- Considering whether to glue Beanie Babies onto the paintings as well.
- 3 min
Gallery Show Plans and Tour Free-Speech Framing
#He continues fantasizing about a full gallery show of his mother's art, then pivots to describing his own stressed-out search for free speech events, segueing toward the ad.
5moments
- Tim plans a gallery show of his dead schizophrenic mother's art, which he insists she would want him to sell posthumously to enrich himself.
- He commits to actually doing a gallery show in New York City, proposing stenciled political figures like Nixon and Kissinger onto the paintings to appeal to rich aging hippies.
- The target audience is former free-love types now wandering Malibu or Soho, once into fivesomes with Country Joe and the Fish, now excited about Pete Buttigieg.
- Tim pitches stenciling a red war plane that looks like blood onto one of the paintings as the key to making the whole thing work—all art is fake anyway.
- When buying tickets to a free speech night with Barry Weiss and Grimes, Tim found himself stressed because he genuinely wanted a night of free speech and wasn't sure where to find one.
Pete ButtigiegBari WeissRichard NixonCountry Joe and the FishGrimesHenry Kissinger
- 3 min
Sponsor read for the Gametime ticket app, which derails into a bizarre bit where a stuffed bear channels the soul of Princess Diana, murdered for dating a Palestinian, who also wants the Gametime app.
8moments
- Tim attended a feminist free speech debate and friends asked how to get tickets
- Gametime app pitch: flash deals, last-minute tickets, seat view images, lowest price guarantee, cancellation and job loss protection
- Tim recommends downloading Gametime and using code TIM for $20 off, admits it might still be taking his word for it
- This is legitimately a good app, useful for buying things efficiently and quickly at the last minute
- Princess Diana's soul in a bear wants to use the Gametime app
- Diana's soul explains the bear isn't real, just a fake bear that Tim's fans think is real
- Diana regrets not having the Gametime app to see Grimes debate the Red Scare girl about feminism
- Diana complains her son is dating Meghan Markle and agrees with Tim's apparent criticism of the relationship
- 3 min
A ShipStation sponsor read spirals into a dark, exaggerated story about a friend whose shipping-business stress allegedly led him to kill his pregnant wife and baby.
4moments
- Tim introduces a story about a friend who started an e-commerce business that went catastrophically wrong.
- The friend and his pregnant wife, a teacher on maternity leave, launched a sports memorabilia business together.
- The shipping and order management became so overwhelming that the friend killed the baby, then killed his wife.
- Tim returns to the ShipStation pitch, noting the horror would've been mitigated by proper e-commerce infrastructure.
- 6 min
Tim covers Hunter Biden's gun charge indictment, questions why Democrats keep running an apparently declining Joe Biden, and discusses theories about cover-ups and Hunter possibly pressuring his father to stay in power.
10moments
- Tim respects that Hunter Biden is still showing up to life despite his indictment and legal troubles.
- If Hunter Biden can sell his art, why can't Tim's mother, a law-abiding citizen, do the same?
- Biden is getting very old, and increased media focus has made people realize just how old he actually is.
- Tim claims Biden is confused, wandering around, and probably has early onset dementia.
- The only rational reason to run Biden at his age is to continue some kind of cover-up and prevent a successor from investigating.
- A friend compared what's happening to Biden to elder abuse, with family members forcing him to keep speaking publicly.
- Tim actually feels bad for Biden because he's so old and doesn't know what he's doing, functioning as a pawn.
- Making the statement that Biden is ancient is apolitical—polls show even Democrats want another option.
- Democrats have governors, senators, and congress people available, so there must be another reason they're running Biden again.
- Biden fumbles his words at a press conference, confusing "third world" and clearly not knowing what he's talking about as jazz music plays him off stage.
Hunter BidenJoe BidenDonald TrumpRon DeSantisNikki HaleyVivek Ramaswamy
- 2 min
Tim marvels at footage of Biden wandering off a press conference stage to soft jazz music, calling it a perfect symbol of American decline.
7moments
- Biden doesn't know where he is, walking off to jazz music after being told about his son.
- Tim marvels at the real jazz music playing as Biden exits—compares it to the sun setting on the empire.
- Biden mumbles off-mic before walking off to soft jazz as if from a quiet storm radio show.
- Tim says Biden needs a SEAL Team Six-style rescue mission out of the Oval Office, not to be killed but freed from torment.
- The country tortures people by never letting their ordeals end—citing Biden's 80-year-old body still being pushed into service.
- People behind the scenes tell Biden every day that history is calling, but they're the ones running the whole operation.
- Walking off stage, it's obvious he's too old and won't win—they can't even run him effectively anymore.
- 2 min
The Weak Democratic Bench: Klobuchar, Warren, Buttigieg, Newsom, Kamala
#He runs through why the Democrats have no viable alternative to Biden, mocking Klobuchar's comb-salad story, Warren, Buttigieg's paternity leave, Newsom, and Kamala Harris's lack of political appeal.
5moments
- Amy Klobuchar ate a salad with a comb instead of a fork, ending her candidacy.
- Elizabeth Warren is a literal punchline.
- Gavin Newsom is probably the Democrats' best bet despite being hated and governing a hated state.
- Kamala Harris is incapable of communicating and as a prosecutor represents everything Democrats claim to oppose.
- Harris doesn't check any of the boxes Democrats need her to check.
Amy KlobucharElizabeth WarrenPete ButtigiegGavin NewsomKamala HarrisBernie SandersCalifornia
- 2 min
Tim delivers a Morgan & Morgan injury law firm ad by reciting alarming car accident statistics to a lunch companion who wants him to stop.
5moments
- Tim rattles off car crash statistics at lunch—35% of fatal accidents occur between 6 p.m. and midnight, ages 25-34 have the most drivers in crashes, ages 15-24 have the highest ER visit rate.
- Morgan & Morgan is America's largest injury firm with 100 offices nationwide, more than 800 lawyers, and $15 billion recovered from over 300,000 clients.
- Tim argues people are going to get injured because that's life, and they need lawyers to get what's rightfully theirs.
- Submitting an injury claim with Morgan & Morgan is easy, but trying to predict which celebrity will be roasted on the next episode is hard—Tim hates when they write it, tells them to stop and be lawyers instead.
- Morgan & Morgan doesn't charge unless they win, which Tim frames as what life's about: winning.
- 2 min
Tim discusses Boebert getting removed from a touring Beetlejuice musical performance for vaping and causing a disturbance, framing her as an unrefined hillbilly attending the only kind of theater she'd ever go see.
3moments
- Tim explains the quality gap between Broadway productions and national touring versions, citing Josh Groban on Broadway versus Joey Fatone on tour.
- Lauren Boebert was kicked out of Beetlejuice the musical in Denver for vaping, singing, recording, and causing a disturbance.
- Tim defends Boebert by characterizing her as a hillbilly engaging in hillbilly culture—singing along, vaping, stomping feet, and playing hand bone.
Gina DavisBeetlejuiceJoey FatoneJosh GrobanAnnie Get Your Gun
- 10 min
Lauren and Jason Boebert's Violent Marriage, and Her Character Study
#An extended riff imagining the Boeberts' volatile, physically abusive relationship, describing her as a mouthy, sexually aggressive 'carnival' hillbilly type destined for either great success or ruin, contrasted with the untouchable icon status of Lori Lightfoot.
13moments
- Lauren Boebert only goes to see movies she's already seen, like Beetlejuice—she's not the type for serious theater.
- Tim almost sides with her for trying, but notes she's a Waffle House employee and bartender, not a genius.
- Her and her husband beat each other up on their lawn; she's getting divorced because they can't stop attacking each other.
- Tim describes a scene where her kids are locked in their rooms terrified while she's barricaded in the bathroom and he's kicking the door.
- When Lauren Boebert gets shoved or trips down the stairs, it's not for no reason—she has a toxic mouth that brings it on herself.
- She probably insults her husband, possibly about sexual performance, which he can't tolerate.
- Tim imagines Jason Boebert gave her a look like he was going to kill her, and she realized she had to leave.
- As a character study, she's a saucy, sexy bartender who knows how to perform sexually and make men attracted to her.
- She's a spicy, dangerous woman who will provoke someone to want to kill her—she won't stop pushing until that happens.
- Boebert preaches against gay marriage and abortion while also willing to engage in casual sex and drugs after nights out.
- A woman like that is destined for something, though it's unclear if it's a great end or a bad one.
- People like her can't play the long game; they're victims of circumstances they create and either get successful or get knocked around until they disappear.
- Tim concludes with uncertainty about what will ultimately happen to her.
Lauren BoebertLori LightfootBeetlejuiceThe FerrymanDeath of a Salesman
- 1 min
Tim lists upcoming tour cities across the US, Australia, New Zealand, and Canada.
1moment
- Tim announces he's on tour across the US, Australia, and New Zealand with dates in Cincinnati, Lexington, Des Moines, Omaha, Sacramento, Perth, Adelaide, Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, Auckland, Christchurch, Rochester, Pittsburgh, Houston, Detroit, and Toronto.
- 7 min
RFK Jr., Larry Fink, and the Kennedy Compound Fantasy
#He praises RFK Jr.'s interview performance, jokes about RFK needing to threaten to jail/behead BlackRock's Larry Fink like a Game of Thrones scene, then fantasizes at length about performing a comedy special at the Kennedy compound as the ultimate career-ending gig, comparing political dynasties' discipline to Lauren Boebert's inability to play the long game.
8moments
- RFK made good points during his Sherrod interview, but media focused on blackout controversy instead of his actual arguments.
- RFK needs to adopt Trump's strategy of making extreme promises like jailing Larry Fink to gain political traction.
- Tim fantasizes about RFK threatening to behead Larry Fink in front of his daughter on day one, invoking the Game of Thrones beheading scene.
- Tim's ultimate career goal is performing stand-up at the Kennedy compound in Hyannis Port, which would feel like his Madison Square Garden moment.
- A special filmed at the Kennedy compound would be hilarious despite probably not being good, with Tim potentially doing RFK's voice the entire time.
- Political dynasties like the Kennedys and Bushes succeed because they suppress their emotions and play the long game, unlike Lauren Boebert.
- There is an actual structural way to build multi-generational political power in America, regardless of whether that's good or bad.
- Lauren Boebert can't even stay out of trouble at Beetlejuice, so she'll never master the skills required for dynasties that have assassinated presidents and run drug operations.
Larry FinkLauren BoebertRFK JrKennedy CompoundDonald TrumpKristi NoemLori LightfootJosh Brown+3 more
- 1 min