rant · moment 11 of 24
Starbucks Wants to Be a Coffee Shop Again
from The Presidential Debate & Eating Cats | The Tim Dillon Show #409 · #409
5 min
Tim discusses the Starbucks CEO's plan to bring back comfortable chairs and in-store hangout culture, comparing it to Dunkin' Donuts' scrappier vibe and riffing on homeless people and pet-store tarantula hair injuries, then describing the homeless "Deuteronomy from Cats" regular at his own coffee shop.
- Starbucks CEO wants to make the chain a coffee shop again after sales declined due to mobile ordering and phone pickup replacing sit-down culture.
- Tim recalls Starbucks as upscale hangout space versus Dunkin' Donuts, which catered to working people and was often occupied by homeless patrons.
- Tangent on tarantulas at pet stores: they shed defense hairs into customers' eyes and noses, sending them to Dunkin' with bloodshot eyes.
- Homeless people and junkies now occupy Starbucks too, which Tim sees as fitting consequence for progressive voters who wanted this environment.
- Tim describes a Brooklyn coffee shop where young white progressives with laptops sit uncomfortably while a homeless man in blankets walks around.
- The young professionals try to keep their eyes on their own work, like children taking a school test, staying focused on laptops when the homeless man is present.
- The particular homeless man in Tim's coffee shop resembles Deuteronomy from the movie Cats—shaggy, blanket-draped, walking the space unpredictably.
- Staff must give the homeless man free coffee without complaint because they cannot legally refuse service or confront him.
- Everyone at the coffee shop visibly relaxes once he leaves, but no one will admit the discomfort or acknowledge that the situation is unpleasant.