rant · moment 8 of 21
RFK Might Say You Need to Beat the Autism Out of Your Kid
from Stay At Home Summer & Being A Good Guest | The Tim Dillon Show #439 · #439
3 min
Tim spins out a dark bit imagining RFK's eventual findings could recommend corporal punishment, riffing on Joe Jackson and Michael Jackson and 'beating the autism out' of children.
- Tim recounts RFK's claims about investigating autism causes, including vaccines, food systems, water, air, and parenting.
- RFK might conclude that parents need to physically beat their children to prevent or cure autism.
- Tim compares RFK's potential recommendation to Joe Jackson's practice of making Michael fetch a switch for beatings.
- Tim imagines RFK's research concluding that children beaten with belts multiple times weekly are less likely to be autistic.
- Tim argues that health answers are often unpleasant—like Brussels sprouts instead of smoothies—so RFK's autism cure might equally be harsh.
- The autism solution might require beating children so severely they quiver when a car door closes.
- Tim speculates RFK might recommend randomly attacking children in the house rather than beating them for specific reasons.
- RFK's recommendations could instead involve making children sleep with tape on their mouths, citing this as a new health trend.