rant · moment 5 of 15
Jimmy Carwile Drives Through Jennifer Aniston's Gate
from India vs. Pakistan, Portnoy, & Jennifer Aniston’s Stalker | The Tim Dillon Show #443 · #443
15 min
Tim jokes he was the one who crashed into Jennifer Aniston's home, then riffs at length on the stalker Jimmy Carwile, his religious Facebook posts, Aniston's dating history with Brad Pitt and Justin Theroux, and a wandering bit about celebrities losing their minds publicly and becoming targets for stalkers, tying it into tariffs and deindustrialization.
- Tim claims he was the one who crashed into Jennifer Aniston's house to kill her and take her to Auschwitz.
- Celebrities are melting down publicly now because there are no more layers between them and the public—no agent, manager, lawyer, or publicist to filter their behavior.
- There's always been crazy stalkers who think they're meant to be with celebrities, but now those stalkers might start working with the celebrities who are also going crazy publicly.
- Breaking into a celebrity's home makes more sense now than ever because they're vulnerable and the systems around them have broken down.
- Jimmy Carwile drove his car through Jennifer Aniston's gate and is facing felony stalking and vandalism charges.
- Tim questions whether Aniston was even home, noting celebrities don't live in their homes and joking that maybe they were all executed years ago and replaced with clones.
- Carwile's social media posts call Aniston "Jennifer Joanna Anderson Carwile" and claim corruption is keeping him from her, referring to blessings from God.
- What if Carwile is right and he and Aniston are actually meant to be together?
- Aniston should date a regular guy instead of celebrities—this man in a blanket represents what regular Americans are actually like now.
- Tim argues this is what happens without tariffs: a man who should be working in a factory with his wife instead drives through Jennifer Aniston's gate because there's nothing left in the country for him.
- If Tim were Carwile's lawyer, he'd argue to the judge that the man has been tossed aside by the globalized economy and made a desperate decision to get the attention of his love.
- Aniston probably told her friends she wanted to date a regular guy instead of celebrities, and then a regular guy showed up—but it's still not good enough.
Jennifer AnistonTaylor SwiftKanye WestHollywoodGoldman SachsHacksBrad PittAngelina JolieJustin Theroux