rant · moment 14 of 15

New York's Decline and a Message to Jennifer Aniston

from India vs. Pakistan, Portnoy, & Jennifer Aniston’s Stalker | The Tim Dillon Show #443 · #443

7 min

Tim extends the Dubai riff into nostalgia for New York welcoming war criminals and traffickers, ties it back to Jimmy Carwile as a symbol of the failed American public, and delivers a mock declaration of love to Jennifer Aniston on the country's behalf.

In this bit10 moments
  • Jennifer Aniston's gate is all America has left—celebrities don't even exist in public anymore.
  • Tim argues for electing Andrew Cuomo to bring back New York City that makes people feel something.
  • Wealthy people sit in Dubai at fake ski slopes while real murderers and killers are pushed away from New York.
  • Even terrorists won't fly planes into New York buildings anymore because the airport service and flights are so bad.
  • Americans need to give Jennifer Aniston a message: she's the nation's wife and the public has cum in its mouth.
  • Tim delivers an earnest plea to Aniston that America's love for her cannot be stopped by her gate.
  • The man trying to reach Aniston represents all Americans, not just himself.
  • Facebook, poison food, and broken systems are what created this desperate man's condition.
  • Tim imagines explaining to his grandfather what he does for a living, describing it as the best of America.
  • Tariffs exist so men like this can afford to drive through Jennifer Aniston's gate and prove America is still great.
Mentioned here

Jennifer AnistonAndrew CuomoDubaiFacebookNestle

All 15 moments in this episode →