rant · moment 9 of 28

The Death of Malls and the Edible Arrangements Economy

from Eric Swalwell, The Great Layoff, & We Endorse Katie Porter | The Tim Dillon Show #492 · #492

3 min

Tim mourns the disappearance of mall culture and small businesses like Edible Arrangements, riffing on absurd scenarios of gifting fruit arrangements to disgraced teachers.

In this bit7 moments
  • Tim describes wandering malls as a kid smoking joints, sampling bourbon chicken, and how that world is now completely dead.
  • Carlin nailed it: America's only religion is shopping and eating.
  • Driving around LA, everything is for lease—commercial and office spaces gone everywhere.
  • The question facing the country: what happens to all this vacant commercial space, and who takes on these leases?
  • You used to open a business like Edible Arrangements—a pineapple shaped like a sunflower, basically a way to apologize for someone having a stroke.
  • Edible Arrangements was the solution for every social disaster: retiring teacher with a scandal gets a melon shaped like a tulip and leaves in disgrace.
  • That was an actual business in America that made real money.
Mentioned here

mallsEdible ArrangementsGeorge CarlinHot Topic

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