News · moment 15 of 16
The Olive Garden Fryer Suicide News Story
from Epstein Files & A Head In The Fryer | The Tim Dillon Show #482 · #482
3 min
News
Tim reads the actual news article about an Olive Garden employee in Pennsylvania who fatally injured himself by putting his head in a deep fryer, riffing on the absurd euphemisms used by police and management.
- Tim struggles to read "decedent" and jokes about thinking it said the Tour of Italy was being served at the restaurant.
- Tim imagines the Olive Garden kitchen scenario—a worker overwhelmed, chopping onions, sautéing, burning his fingers on hot rolls while someone yells the restaurant is busy.
- Tim describes the Olive Garden kitchen as one of the darkest places in America, comparing it unfavorably to being abducted.
- The worker is doing multiple jobs because Sarah called out to go to family court to get her kid back.
- Tim imagines the worker asking himself how much longer he can keep putting ranch in tiny cups.
- Tim continues the monologue as the worker—questioning how much longer he'll fill little cups with industrial ranch and serve it with calamari that's actually buffalo testicle.