rant · moment 5 of 20

The Drugged Tiger Wedding Gift

from Celebrating 250 Years: A Very Special Episode | The Tim Dillon Show #502 · #502

2 min

Tim plans to buy his cousin an absurdly expensive wedding gift to embarrass his estranged parents, escalating into a bit about delivering a heavily drugged, illegally smuggled tiger in the front seat of a Tesla to the wedding.

In this bit5 moments
  • Tim's cousin is getting married, and he wants to buy a gift so expensive it makes his parents feel bad about their relationship.
  • The gift idea: a heavily drugged tiger from Dubai, or alternatively a Tesla with a drugged tiger in it.
  • Tim dismisses animal welfare concerns, arguing that society cares less about big cat welfare now than ever and that the tigers are 'cool.'
  • Imagining the reveal: he arrives at the wedding yelling that he got his cousin a car, like Oprah, then the Tesla pulls up with a drugged Siberian tiger in the front seat.
  • When wedding guests ask how much it cost, Tim claims it was nothing to drug the animal illegally, ship it, and drive it to the wedding.

All 20 moments in this episode →