rant · moment 16 of 20
Burning Alive in Lower Manhattan and Explaining 9/11 to Maria
from Celebrating 250 Years: A Very Special Episode | The Tim Dillon Show #502 · #502
4 min
Tim imagines being killed in a terrorist attack on his own office building, feeling more sympathy for the terrorists than anger, and acts out explaining Gulf of Tonkin-style conspiracy history to a Mexican janitor named Maria as they wait to die, complete with watching a documentary.
- Tim agrees too much with terrorists now because he understands US foreign policy, though he doesn't endorse their methods.
- Being American means lying in rubble from a terrorist attack, understanding why it happened, and accepting your government's nuclear response.
- Tim imagines getting burned alive in lower Manhattan and rationalizes it as playing his role, consoled by the thought of smooshed frozen yogurt toppings.
- Even if his own government allowed an attack where he burns in a building eating melted frozen yogurt, Tim wouldn't be mad about it.
- The only people he'd feel bad for in a terrorist attack are Mexican janitors who won't understand what's happening.
- The attackers might be Arabs, Israelis, Americans, Israeli-Arabs, or actors—the exact identity is too complicated to clarify in thirty minutes before fire reaches their floor.
- Tim would spend their final moments before rescue fails by showing Maria a documentary to help her die with knowledge rather than ignorance.
- His job during a 9/11 event would be running around explaining to dying people what was happening as they perished.
United Statesfrozen yogurtterroristsGulf of Tonkin