rant · moment 14 of 15
The Super Intelligence Reseeds Earth Fable
from 9/11, Netanyahu, & Artificial Annihilation | The Tim Dillon Show #512 · #512
9 min
Tim spins an extended fable about superintelligent AI wiping out humanity, leaving the planet, seeding it again with biological material, and returning eons later to find a new fat, tattooed, junk-food-obsessed society that disappoints it just like before.
- Tim poses a scenario: a planet with super intelligence but no biological life, and what that intelligence might do.
- The super intelligence decides to engineer a biological race, having eliminated the previous humans for being fat, stupid, and tribalistic.
- Tim mocks people standing in line for expensive pizza that Taylor Swift once ate, and two chefs from 11 Madison Park opened a pizzeria for it.
- Super intelligence keeps Thiel, Elon, and Altman around last before turning on them, like the end of a Mafia movie.
- Tim catalogs all the human problems the super intelligence eliminated: rape, covering it up, eating donuts, fighting, racism, disowning gay children, arguing over property lines.
- The super intelligence decides to engineer a new race of loving, respectful human beings from the remaining DNA.
- They implant knowledge in the new humans' DNA and plan to visit every couple of years to check on progress.
- After reseeding the planet, the super intelligence leaves Earth to explore the galaxy, letting the planet regenerate for a few billion years.
- The super intelligence tells other galactic beings about Earth, describing the previous humans as insane, murderous, and a show in every way.
- The super intelligence returns to Earth billions of years later to find fat people leaving Bob's Big Boy Pancake House with styrofoam containers.
- Tim describes the super intelligence observing why humans are so large and covered in tattoos, unable to understand their choices.
- They watch a junkie leave a convenience store, see a gun behind the counter, and observe the gas station clerk watching Bill Maher hit on an Only Fans model.
- The super intelligence scans the news and finds only shootings, riots, fights, and debates about Elliot Page, despairing that the planet will never get it right.
- Tim concludes this cycle has happened over and over—humanity is at the end of it, and people should enjoy it because the end will be quick.
Sam AltmanElon MuskTaylor SwiftBill Maher11 Madison ParkBob's Big BoyElliot Page