rant · moment 5 of 20
Caitlyn Jenner: True Diversity and the Fatal Car Crash
from #253 - Jenner's Joyride | The Tim Dillon Show · #253
8 min
A long riff praising Caitlyn Jenner as an example of "real" diversity versus mediocre diversity, retelling her Kardashian household dynamics, and joking that she doesn't dwell on the fatal 2015 car crash the way normal people would.
- Tim on the blackface absurdity of trying to interview Lori Lightfoot, who he calls a goon and offers to hire a Black translator for instead.
- Tim's dream presidential ticket: Caitlyn Jenner for president, Lori Lightfoot as VP playing the Dick Cheney power player behind the scenes.
- Tim argues Caitlyn Jenner represents true diversity—actual greatness—unlike the country's preference for mediocre, ethnically ambiguous people with identical worldviews.
- Caitlyn's credentials: Olympic decathlete with a gold medal, someone who has truly lived many lives and what California needs.
- Tim notes Caitlyn is a country club trans person who murdered two people in a car and acts like it never happened, just remembering gold medals and better times.
- During the Kardashian years, Caitlyn was cooking up a comeback while playing it close to the vest and golfing quietly, an afterthought in that Armenian Calabasas household.
- Caitlyn likes people who do things well—law and order, money, country clubs—and the only Mexicans she's spoken to gave her guacamole.
- Tim argues America needs more trans people from Caitlyn's background, not trans nerds or Tumblr trans people, the way it needs gays who look like dock workers or crooked cops.
- White women keep fashionable gays in their purse to interpret while drunk in Orange County; gays as flight attendants can do drugs and have casual sex across the country.
- What the country actually needs: a country club trans person pulling up in a Bentley, stepping out in Christian Louboutins, sitting in a restaurant and being unhappy about the tent on the way in.
Caitlyn JennerLori LightfootLouis C.K.Yes or yes