rant · moment 14 of 26
Running for President: Outlaw Denny's for Healthcare
from #188 - Best of Patreon Vol. 1 | The Tim Dillon Show · #188
2 min
Continuing the campaign bit, Tim argues real healthcare reform requires militarized bans on Denny's, IHOP, and Carl's Jr., and a Weight Watchers-style points system enforced by prison.
- Tim's healthcare plan: outlaw Denny's, IHOP, Carl's Jr., and Popeyes, posting armed guards outside fast food restaurants.
- Ban breakfast cereals that deliver more sugar to a child's brain than they should have in their entire life.
- Run the country like Weight Watchers enforced by the prison system, jailing people who go over their points.
- No amount of healthcare will work when Denny's serves salted caramel banana cream french toast to 400-pound people in San Antonio.
- Every theme restaurant in the country is trying to kill everyone who lives here.
- No political candidate will ever actually do this: take the Denny's menu seriously as a healthcare crisis.