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Blue Chew: Keto Kid Alpha Dog Rant

from 163 - How To Be Popular · #163

6 min

SponsorBlueChew

A sponsor read for Blue Chew that spirals into an extended "keto alpha male" persona bit about eating meat, punching women to build up to punching men, degrading random hookups, and having violent sweaty sex in flophouse apartments.

In this bit11 moments
  • Tim launches into a party and hedonism fantasy: Cancun, Corona, pool sex, penthouse apartments.
  • The "Keto Kid" persona: three days no carbs, punched a woman in the face today, training to punch men.
  • Non-keto people aren't men, just carb-laden weaklings who need Blue Chew to stay hard.
  • Real men eat whole eggs with yolk and steak cooked outside by a lake like an actual man.
  • Blue Chew pitch: chewable Viagra alternative, online consultation, discreet shipping, same active ingredients.
  • Alpha dog advice: don't learn her name, don't take her out, don't talk to her, just dominate.
  • If someone orders carbs or sugar on a date, pity them as weak and forget about their pleasure.
  • Fingers are for tearing meat apart, not foreplay; don't kiss, make them face the wall, just have violent sex.
  • Rent a dirty mattress apartment above a grocery store in a bad area so you can have sex while hearing gunshots.
  • Tim admits he's in his mid-30s and sometimes his dick doesn't cooperate, but Blue Chew is the secret weapon.
  • Don't even need a sexual partner—just walk around the gym with a hard dick to show you're a King.

All 16 moments in this episode →