Interview · moment 4 of 20
The Actress, the Blowjob, and Jussie Smollett as the Platonic Actor
from Bert Kreischer · #137
Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.
2 minGuest
Bert tells a story about getting a blowjob from a famous actress who broke off to ask about his production deal, using it to riff on how actors (unlike writer-producers like Amy Poehler or Tina Fey) are basically soulless vessels who just say other people's words, comparing pure actors to Jussie Smollett.
- 8:41Some people get into comedy just to be pampered in a trailer as the third lead on a sitcom.
- 9:02Tim got a blowjob from a TV actress at 27 and thought he'd achieved the dream until she stopped mid-act to ask about his production deals.
- 9:58Since that encounter, Tim concluded all actresses are broken — they're only interested in networking and information.
- 10:31Actors remain completely unaffected by criticism, which Tim describes as true sociopathy.
- 10:47Tim's definition of a "straight up actor": someone whose only dream is to say other people's words, like a person who traces instead of creating art.